Things 33% of Americans Believe

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  • 33% of Americans believe that gay people can choose to become straight.
  • 33% of Americans believe 9/11 didn’t happen in 2001.
  • 33% of Americans believe that the Bible is the literal word of God.
  • 33% of Americans believe that they aren’t the product of evolution.
  • 33% of Americans believe that global warming is mainly caused by “natural changes in the environment.”
    • and...
  • 33% of Americans believe Donald Trump is doing a good job.
These people are known colloquially as Republicans. We need to figure out how to get rid of all this deadweight.