At this point, is there anything Trump could do that would cause Republicans to abandon him? My Magic 8-Ball says, “Outlook not so good.” The Orange Doofus is at war with the FBI, and is so stupid he can’t even hide his motives. Sources tell CNN that he’s embracing the memo as a way of discrediting the Russia investigation. Granted, we all know that, but Fox News lying depends on at least the pretense of deniability.
I doubt Trump could find Bears Ears or Grand Staircase-Escalante national monuments in Utah on a map — hell, I doubt he can find Utah — but he’s allowing an Oklahoma-style land rush there so mining operations can start. Trump or no Trump, we’re already living in a Russia-style kleptocracy.
Two members of Congress announced yesterday they won’t run for re-election, and both count as good news for liberals. Trey “Benghazi” Gowdy of South Carolina said he’s going back to the courtroom, which won’t hurt the GOP in numbers but does deprive them of his legal acumen. More promising for liberals: Bob Brady, the troglodyte Democrat from Philadelphia, is retiring after a close call with prosecutors over paying a rival in a primary to drop out. Let’s see if an actual progressive can push through the usual crowd of grifters and opportunists who have already expressing interest in the job.
Bullshit outrage of the week: I’m supposed to be upset over people whispering that Nimrata Haley is having an affair with Donald Trump, because that’s a sexist insult. Mika Brzezinski shut down author Michael Wolff on the subject this morning, declaring, “You might be having a fun time playing a little game dancing around this but you’re slurring a woman, it’s disgraceful,” she said. Here’s the problem with that line of reasoning: By claiming this is a “slur,” it assumes the charge is a lie, which is as bullshit as assuming it’s true. Nobody ever shuts down speculation about a man fucking around by saying, “It’s a slur.” In all the time America’s press corps hyperventilated about Bill Clinton’s fucking around, nobody ever stopped to say, “Wait a second. We’re slurring him.” If it’s a slur when we say it about a women, then it’s a slur about a man — except even feminists don’t believe that. Funny thing about the Haley stuff in Wolff’s book — nobody has even tried to deny the quote about her being “as ambitious as Lucifer.” Apparently that’s not considered a slur.
Kentucky Sen. Rand Paul resurfaced on Stephen Colbert’s show, after months of recovery from an attack by his neighbor left him with broken ribs and lung damage. “I’ve been shot at. I’ve been mugged. I’m hoping 2018 is a better year,” said Paul, who was also on the baseball field when Republican politicians were attacked by a nut with a gun. “We are channeling a lot of rage on both sides, politically and otherwise, grass clippings, you name it. We’re unhappy with each other. And I think sometimes we see people on television and we think that person’s not human. They don’t hurt, you know.”
Here’s my version of good news: Asshole who likes killing big animals with big guns gets shot to death as he prepares to shoot a lion. This piece of shit was retired and wanted to dedicate his life to shooting animals after others tracked them for him — canned hunting, as it’s known. Wouldn’t it be great if all these people shot and killed each other instead?
Speaking of which, this is the guy all the “get rid of the death penalty, no exceptions” people will simply never convince me deserves to live: He’s in a custody battle with his ex-wife. When his daughters, 6 and 9, come for their scheduled visit, he puts them on speaker phone with his wife while he shoots them to death. But if I’m progressive, I’m supposed to want to keep him alive. Sorry, no can do. This is precisely the sort of case I make an exception for: Exceptionally heinous, no doubt whatever of his guilt. I won’t hold a party when he’s gone, but you’re gonna have to work overtime to show me, or anyone else, that the country is worse off for his execution — or that executing people like this is our country’s biggest shame. I don’t think it makes the top 1,000.