Donald Trump’s childish wish for a military parade has drawn voluminous criticism from almost all corners. The objections range from the obvious (it’s a waste of money, an estimated $20 million) to the even more obvious (it’s a sign of deep insecurity). But nobody has said jack about the waste of money taking place in Philadelphia right now.
The Mummers march every year, but that’s in the annual budget. Nobody foresaw the Eagles winning the Super Bowl, so the city is out of pocket for today’s Million Meaningless Lives March. The mayor says the city will find the money, which is just as well considering how little teams pay even when cities try to force them to. Politicians are over a barrel — even most Eagles fans can find a voting booth, so they have to cater to this pitiful search for thrills.
Today’s White House Freakout concerns chief of staff John Kelly, who spent months protecting wife-beater Rob Porter from being fired before the axe fell yesterday. Porter is a “man of integrity,” Kelly said. Judging by the photos, he’s also a man who leads with his left. Kelly, by the way, was far from the only Republican to speak up for Porter. Why? Because Porter is a Mormon, and the LDS operate much like the Masons used to — one brother does not criticize another — so naturally greedy little Orrin Hatch spoke up for him. Unlike Kelly, he has not withdrawn his comments, either.
Publicity stunt or brave performance? The critics are split on Nancy Pelosi’s 8-hour speech on the House floor yesterday. On one hand, the speech was apparently the longest in House history, at least dating back to the 19th century. On the other, it didn’t work — the Dreamers are still in limbo. At least it should put a stop to complaints that she’s physically not up to her job. That 8-hour speech was uninterrupted by a bathroom break. Pretty impressive bladder control for a 77-year-old woman.
Lying is to Republicans what breathing is to mammals: Essential for survival. So when twisted little muff-monkey Mike Pence says USA Today’s Christine Brennan was lying when she reported that a gay Olympic figure skater refused to meet with the vice president, I would know which one to believe even if I didn’t know that Brennan is one of the most respected reporters in sports.
Well-meaning but hopelessly naive centrist Democrats are at it again. They’re taking part in a bipartisan effort to improve health care by getting insurance for everybody, as if that would do anything to push down costs. Granted, the ACA bent the spending curve downward, but nobody has yet been able to explain why. Single-payer is the only thing with a chance to do that, but this group doesn’t want to talk about that because they’re afraid Republicans will reject them out of hand if they do. I just hope that they’ll alert us when their Coddle the Morons strategy works, because it will be the first time it ever has.