Spokesmen for Jesus of Nazareth said the Savior approved of the Supreme Court ruling that bakers don’t have to make wedding cakes for gay couples, because he thinks it’s a bad idea anyway. “Changing water into wine because the family didn’t plan ahead is one thing,” said the sandal-wearing miracle worker, “but demanding a homophobe bake a cake for your same-sex wedding is as dumb as sending back your underdone steak with an insult for the chef. Nothing good is going to come of it.”
The Prince of Peace added, however, that florists are another matter entirely, as lots of flowers are self-pollinating.