If Dems would only stop talking about minimum wage, we might win over these Trump voters.
In a continuation of the new genre in journalism that we’ll call “Dumb Fucks Still Love Trump, Are Dumb,” the Washington Post’s Stephanie McCrummen traveled to Luverne, Alabama, to see how the evangelical Christian white people there feel about the man that 72% of them voted for in 2016. And guess the fuck what? These Jesus-fellating, science-denying, reality-ignoring racists would let Trump grab their daughters by the pussy if he said it would Make America Great Again.
Let me pause here to say that I’ve driven through Luverne on a number of occasions. It is what we might kindly say is “in the middle of buttfuck nowhere.” I feel more unsafe there than in any big city I’ve ever been to. You wanna know about the place? Crenshaw County, which has less than 10,000 people, and is where Luverne is, recently put up a new Confederate monument as part of its Confederate Veterans Memorial Park. That’s multidimensional stupid.
While McCrummen does include the voices of Luvernians who have their doubts about the morality of Donald Trump, a man whose pretty much commits the Seven Deadly Sins every fuckin’ day, with an emphasis on Sloth, Pride, and Wrath, most of the good churchgoers in the article have contorted themselves like a double-jointed porn star in order to support the president. They believe that God himself sent Trump to lead the nation in order to defeat the “evil” (their word) Hillary Clinton and to overturn the legacy of Barack Obama, who, according to one Luverne woman who is living in an alternate universe we might call “Breitbartiana,” “was acting at the behest of the Islamic nation.” This woman and a friend declared that when the Bible says, “Love thy neighbor,” it really means, “Love thy American neighbor.”
(“The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born,” says Leviticus 19:34, but, you know, that’s only the book where we get the Ten Commandments, so what do they know?)
The “Boomer-core” to the rescue!!