National Enquirer Business Plan Could Save Journalism

Filed in National by on February 9, 2019

As you’ve heard by now, the National Enquirer tried to blackmail Washington Post owner Jeff Bezos, threatening to publish his dick pics if he didn’t back off investigating AMI, the Enquirer’s corporate parent. Judging by what I’ve seen in print, people aren’t surprised at the sleaziness of this; it was revealed months ago that the publication paid a Trump paramour for her story specifically so they could kill it, so it’s not shocking to find they work both sides of that street.

But nobody has picked up on what a boon this could be for journalism’s flagging fortunes. Why peddle subscriptions for a few dollars a month when you could be extorting story subjects for hundreds of thousands of dollars?

Back when Tom Gordon was county executive and Sherry Freebery his assistant, there were constant rumors that they were romantically involved. The solons at The News Journal insisted this was none of the public’s business, which was just as absurd a contention then as it is now.* Imagine if, instead of ignoring this, they had set about investigating it — not to publish what they found, but to generate income by threatening to reveal what they found. And those two are far from the only ones. Lots of lawmakers turn into bedfellows. Why write stories about it when you can blackmail the adulterers instead?

Granted, this would mean dropping actual reporters, who have to be able to write, in favor of private investigators, who just have to snap grainy photos, but this seems to be what the masses are more interested in anyway.

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  1. bamboozer says:

    Will be interesting to watch this one play out as I believe all the cards are not yet on the table. As noted sleaze is what the Inquirer does, find it apt that the owner’s name is Pecker. As for the News Journal the suggested plan is indeed bold and forthright, however I suspect they would botch it up like usual.

  2. Alby says:

    I don’t know if this will turn out to be illegal, but it recalls what happened back in the ’90s when NCC councilman Chris Roberts was accused of sexually harassing an aide. Gordonberry offered her $16,000 to shut up. Her lawyer told them he had a tape of them that they wouldn’t want released in public, so they upped the offer to over $250,000. Lesson: Blackmail pays, and it happens in politics more than anyone wants to admit.

    I wonder if Trump would have paid off his mistresses had he known people would vote for him anyway. I’m guessing not.

  3. Dave says:

    It does take a lot chutzpah to go after the richest person in the world. AMI may have deep pockets, but I don’t think they are that deep.

  4. Jason330 says:

    Looks like people who have been blackmailed by Pecker are coming out of the woodwork. Lock him up.

  5. Alby says:

    It was the best tabloid cover headline since the headless body was found in the topless bar:

    https://www.newyorker.com/news/current/the-story-behind-the-instant-classic-bezos-exposes-pecker-headline