The Post Birth Abortion Situation

I’ve been hearing more and more about post-birth abortions. For the uninitiated, post-birth-abortion is a procedure in which a shirtless Michael Moore busts into a delivery room and cuts a post-birth fetus head off with a katana while yelling something about Venezuela.

This is clearly an intolerable situation. Post birth abortion is a heinous thing, because, as we all know, Michael Moore has no business going around shirtless.

Post-birth abortion is also definitely very real and something that happens all the time. It is certainly not something that Tucker Carlson cooked up when he found that regular abortion wasn’t moving the rage needle like it used to. In fact, the proof that post-birth-abortion is real is that Tucker Carlson maintains a 24-hour bodyguard to prevent his mother from exercising her right to have a post-birth abortion in her 196th trimester.

Courage, Tucker. Courage.