Delaware Political Sorta Weekly: Mid-May Edition

El Somnambulo

4 years ago

Man, you get virtually nothin’ for months on end, and then we get a deluge. If this keeps up, I just might go back to a weekly edition–at least through the filing deadline.

1. Meet Lauren Witzke: The Rethuglican Candidate For US Senate. Anyone consider it a coincidence that she looks like a Fox Noise fluffer? Didn’t think so, as she’s no doubt thinking beyond the election. She will get the hardcore Trump vote, and that’s it. Check out her bio, it’s like, weird, man:

She is an experienced political activist, promoting pro-life movements at CPAC, and a public speaker pushing for more restrictive immigration policies. She is a young, passionate conservative who spent several years working in the pharmaceutical industry. Lauren unwittingly (Editor’s Note: I believe this) participated in the pharmaceutical industries agenda which led to the nationwide opioid addiction crisis. Ironically, she found herself hopelessly addicted as well, and even worked for drug cartel families and illicit organized crime gangs from Detroit.

Thankfully, God (in the persona of Trump) inspired her to turn her life around:

After President Trump was elected in 2016, Lauren completely changed the course of her life; and dedicated her life to joining the fight to make America great again, as opposed to enabling those who wish to destroy America. (I think she means us.)

At least, someone who has known the struggle of opioid addiction is bound to have empathy for her fellow humans, right? Let’s check out her platform.

(Guarantee: The following excerpts from her platform are verbatim and free from traditional liberal distortion techniques.)

Restoration Of Family: Lauren will re-divert welfare programs, into an incentive program for marriage and children. Married couples with 3 or more children will receive financial stipends. Those who divorce will lose all benefits. These benefits will far surpass any potential child support received after. Single parents who marry will be grand fathered into the program for a period of 10 years, after which the benefit will only be applied for those who marry and have children together. End no fault divorce nationally.

You want one more? If you insist:

Immigration: Lauren Witzke supports a full 10-year moratorium on all immigration; only allowing migrants in to replace migration out of the country; netting at zero. Exceptions will be made for legitimate marriage and fiancé visas. In addition, our immigration laws will be strictly enforced, and our border secured. End DACA and deport the recipients. Lauren believes that our ancestors did not merely migrate to America, rather they founded America. (Really, this, and she, are just too easy to ridicule, and Homey don’t play ‘dat.)

OK, I do play ‘dat. So, was America founded before or after the Italians, the Irish, et al, migrated to America? At what point did the founding of America cease, according to Witzke? Did the Native Americans play any role in the founding of America? Teh stoopid, it burns.

2. Maggie Jones To Primary Matt Meyer For NCC County Executive. Based on her background, she seems to be a credible challenger. Which raises the question: What is the impetus for her candidacy? Her stated reason strikes me as basic boilerplate:

Why I’m Running

In my professional life, I have continuously pursued career opportunities that provided me the opportunity to use my life and work experiences to make a difference in the lives of others. This job is about building strong relationships and improving the lives of the people that live and work within this county. I will work to ensure that our community has a voice, improve program accessibility and streamline services, collaborate effectively with local and state agencies, and restore confidence in our county administration. My approach to gaining your trust is being honest with you and telling you my story, so that you can understand where my work ethic comes from in order to make an informed decision on September 15, 2020.

Maggie Jones

In other words, I don’t know why she’s running. But I betcha that someone out there does. If you do, let us know. And, if you know who is behind her candidacy, let us know. Especially if it’s Tom Gordon.

3. An Unlikely Three-Way D Primary In RD 26. John Viola and Madinah Wilson-Anton have been joined by (I’m doing a cut-and-paste) Gabriel Olawale Adelunga. I’ve seen some generic sites in my time, but this just might top them all. A photoshopped sign, a photoshopped crowd, and generic copy that falls below even my meager expectations. Ya gotta check it out. Having said that, Adelunga is a person of accomplishment assuming, and I’m making the assumption, that this is the same person. However, I don’t understand why he’s running, unless he’s trying to help reelect John Viola. Anton-Wilson has run a picture-perfect campaign, and ‘Wale’ is getting in late and obviously can’t run a grassroots campaign with the current situation. I’m not thrilled with this development.

4. Keith James II (Of Middletown?) Files Against Sean Matthews in RD 10. Yes, it’s a Brandywine Hundred district. No it’s nowhere near Middletown. Yes, it’s probably a mistake. But you (meaning I) have to wonder how a candidate can make a basic mistake like this:

II JAMES, KEITH A
5 ROCKLAND COURT,
MIDDLETOWN DE 19810

Anyway, here’s what I wrote about his candidacy about a year ago. The only change is that Matthews will not be challenging Sen. Cloutier, so this challenge remains pointless. It’s his money, though.

5. Unpopular Rethug City Councilman Files For Reelection. We’re talking Ciro Adams. Here’s why he’s not beloved by the staff. James Spadola has filed for the one At-Large seat guaranteed for a Republican. He’ll likely send Adams packing.

6. Speaking Of Alleged Sexual Harassment…: Insurance Commissioner Trinidad Navarro faces his own issues in this matter. Yes, they are just allegations so far. But he will likely need to do more than just dismiss them as ‘allegations’. BTW, Navarro filed for reelection last week.

7. Chris Coons Files. I sure hope that Jess Scarane does. Coons needs to be held accountable for being a corporadem at a time when we need someone in touch with real Delawareans.

8. IPOD People File. Kathy DeMatteis for Governor and Kevin Baron for Lt. Governor. BTW, I can’t make this up, and this is why I never tire of doing this. DeMatteis and her husband are authors. This is their own synopsis of their latest, The Secret Life: Stimulus Package:

When Charlotte Bennett, a cannabis culinary chef with dreams of opening a wedding destination B&B, hires local dominatrix Kennedy McCormick she gets more than what she bargained for. She joins The Center of Love, an all-inclusive Love Club where she is encouraged to try the buffet. Plagued with emotional disorders and epilepsy she struggles with loving herself. Determined to live life on her own terms, her dreams start to come true when she is challenged to cook for a mystery man that seems to hold all the keys.

If only someone would invite me to try the buffet at the all-inclusive Love Club…but I digress. If she sends me an invitation, she might just win my vote.

That’s it for now. What’d I miss, and whaddayathink?