Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Your Republican Party!
RNC DAY 1 Speakers
Sen. Tim Scott (S.C.) – The GOP’s last remaining African American will be on hand to talk about how he is living proof that the GOP isn’t a white supremacist organization.
House Minority Whip Steve Scalise (La.) – Addressed an anti-Semitic, white supremacist group run by none other than David Duke, a former grand wizard of the Klu Klux Klan. Now he is going to address this white supremacist group, no doubt to inform them that, having been shot by a left wing radical, radical left-wing violence is a thing everyone should be utterly terrified of.
Rep. Matt Gaetz (Fla.) – Too many scandals to list. Here is one: Gaetz invited alt-right Holocaust denier[98] Charles C. “Chuck” Johnson to attend President Donald Trump‘s State of the Union address. He is addressing the RNC to expand on his remarks that were removed from twitter: “Now that we clearly see antifa as terrorists, can we hunt them down like we do those in the Middle East?”
Rep. Jim Jordan (Ohio) – Jordan knew but did not act during his time as an assistant coach, standing silent as a OSU team doctor molested hundreds. Because none of this makes sense, Jordan is on hand to tell everyone that Joe Biden will molest your wresting team.
Former UN Ambassador Nikki Haley – Resigned one day after an ethics watchdog requested an investigation into her acceptance of free flights on private jets. The last remaining shreds of Haley’s reputation will be collected in a coffee can and burned.
RNC Chair Ronna McDaniel – Anyone Republicans worried that that ethical rot hasn’t penetrated into the bones of the GOP will be put at ease by McDaniel’s address which will highlight stories like the time Trump nominated San Diego billionaire/campaign donor, Doug Manchester to be the ambassador to the Bahamas but the appointment was held up in the GOP run Senate until McDaniel sent Manchester an email setting up a corrupt quid pro quo: “Would you consider putting together $500,000 worth of contributions from your family to ensure we hit our ambitious fundraising goal?” McDaniel wrote.
Mark and Patricia McCloskey – St. Louis gun waving guns holes.
Donald Trump Jr. – A chip off the old block, lowlife piece of shit.
Turning Point USA founder Charlie Kirk – Just read this
