The Bottom Five Worst Christmas Songs
This is a companion post to my definitive list of the best Christmas songs and the best versions of those song. In this list I don’t bother with versions because these songs are so execrable that figuring out degrees of awfulness doesn’t interest me. To get on the list, the songs must be from the modern era (not traditional), truly bad and yet, somehow still widely played along with the rest of the holiday canon.
5) The Little Drummer Boy
4) Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time
3) Last Christmas I gave You My Heart
2) Santa Baby
1) Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer
If you are a really glutton for punishment, check out this Esquire list of horrible holiday music that (thankfully) isn’t widely played.
No “worst” list is complete without Little Drummer Boy, and possibly “Blue Christmas.” And I don’t hate the McCartney song; it is neither best nor worst and I kind of like it, now that you mention it.
Can a decent song get on the “worst” list simply through overexposure? If so I nominate that damn Mariah Carey song.
The linked Esquire article is excellent snark.
I had ‘Little Drummer Boy’ but thought it was “traditional”. It isn’t. That shit written by American composer Katherine Kennicott Davis in 1941 – so yeah. #3 or 4
Your list is of good Christmas songs. Here is the worst Christmas song ever created:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ca5wXojemRM
Truly bad. But I don’t think it meets the criteria of being widely played.
The McCartney ‘song’ is not even a song. It’s a bleeping jingle. Belongs on every ‘worst’ list.
Here are two I hatehatehate, based on listening to Christmas songs at work:
Holly Jolly Christmas. Way too jolly. Made me want to go postal. Had visions of the show on TV, Elvis watching, pulls out his shotgun, and blows out the picture tube. Next TV, please!
Feliz Navidad. I know, I know, it appeals to the same people who also like Jimmy Buffett. I HATE Jimmy Buffett. How many times does the guy want to wish us a Merry Christmas? Wish us a Merry Christmas already and exit stage right.
Both solid additions to the list. For me an additional honorable mention is “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” which is a list of nonsense strung together only because it rhymes, eg.
There’ll be parties for hosting
Marshmallows for toasting
And caroling out in the snow
There’ll be scary ghost stories
And tales of the glories of
Christmases long, long ago
Toasting Marshmallows? Scary Ghost Stories?
The Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future? The Turn of the Screw?
If you want to be a pendant – you forgot Jacob Marley.
i would say the same thing about ghost stories but my wife researched it and yes, in victorian days that did sit around the fire telling ghost stories at christmas
Santa Baby – any and all versions
i want a hippopotamus for christmas
the chipmunk song
all i want for christmas is my 2 front teeth
In a typical year – absolutely. But I haven’t heard want a hippopotamus for christmas, the chipmunk song, or all i want for christmas is my 2 front teeth AT ALL so far this year.
’tis a xmas miracle.
I haven’t heard any Christmas music at all. Over here stores don’t assault you with Christmas music. The grocery store still plays an odd mix of American/British popular music of past eras all jumbled together.
Also, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8FxOu2gg10