Coons v. Manchin

I don’t know how I missed this.

WASHINGTON—Lambasting the West Virginia senator for his blatant self-interest, Joe Manchin (D-WV) was slammed by critics Monday for stealing the spotlight from other Democratic senators who also oppose progressive legislation. “Joe Manchin would rather appear on TV than help his Democratic colleagues appear on TV,” said Delaware senator Chris Coons, who spoke on behalf of a coalition of moderate Democratic lawmakers in condemning Manchin for the undue attention he had received for obstructionist behavior that they would replicate in a heartbeat. “I’d love to be out there every day making up these nonsensical benchmarks and calling for compromise, but good luck getting oxygen when Joe Manchin is hogging all the attention. I’ve worked hard to block progressive legislation for years, and yet you don’t see my face plastered all over the news. Senator Manchin, we are calling on you to share the phone numbers and email addresses of your contacts at ABC News immediately. It’s time to think of the good of the party and share a bit of that limelight.” At press time, Coons added that it was repeated selfishness like this that made him question whether Manchin was really dedicated to maintaining the status quo. – Via the Onion

Maybe I missed it because it does not read as satire at all.