Song of the Day 8/11: Olivia Newton-John, “If Not For You”

I don’t mean to speak ill of the dead. Olivia Newton-John seemed to be a nice person, devoting time, money and energy to various worthy charities, never being involved in any controversy other than a court battle that helped limit the predatory contracts record companies once forced artists to sign. But I’d be lying by omission if I didn’t point out that she wasn’t all that strong a singer.

Years before she became famous by starring in “Grease” opposite John Travolta, Newton-John scored her first American hit with a cover of this Bob Dylan tune, which made it to No. 25 on the Hot 100 but No. 1 on the Easy Listening chart, which was what Adult Contemporary was called back then. As you can hear, her voice is rather thin, which suited this sort of material. I’m not sure how long this link will work — her money-grubbing record company, looking for one last cash-in, keeps pulling it down as fast as YouTubers post it.

The single charted higher overseas (No. 7 UK), where it wasn’t her first hit. Like a lot of performers from Australia (the Bee Gees, Colin Hay), she was actually born in Great Britain but her parents emigrated Down Under when she was a child. She reached England when she signed on as an entertainer on a cruise ship; once there she found gigs so plentiful she stayed on.

She became one of the best-selling singers in history for two main reasons: Her music straddled a sweet spot between pop, country and adult contemporary, often appearing on all three charts at once, and her “Grease” role gave her three hit singles from one of the top-selling LPs in history.

Another confession: I’ve always hated “Grease,” which struck me as a cheesy, cliche-soaked rip-off of “American Graffiti” with a phony, sanitized urban setting. And the songs sucked, too. But suckitude never stopped something from being popular in the USA (examples too numerous to list here, but her co-star John Travolta is another data point). Here’s an example, which I offer with the observation that nobody in normal conversation has ever uttered this stunningly passionless phrase. I mean, seriously — if your romantic interest said this to you, would you be flattered, or would you think you had a stalker on your hands?

So how did she sell so many records? I don’t think it’s any secret that big eyes, blonde hair and a symmetrical face will open a lot of doors in the entertainment industry, and she was just good enough at both singing and acting for people who like pretty faces to buy her mostly soulless product. And she shrewdly emulated IRL the sweet-turned-spicy development arc of her “Grease” character, cashing in with this 1981 tune that was turned down by both Tina Turner and Rod Stewart before it was given to Newton-John. It spent 10 weeks atop the Hot 100. This was also the first video to appear on “Beavis and Butthead.”