The BBC reports that the impending coronation of King Charles III will break from the established rituals of the British monarchy, altering the recipe of the sacred “chism oil” — yes, really — used to anoint the new monarch. This special magic juice is so hallowed that it was not even allowed to be shown on television during the coronation of Chuck’s mum, Queen Elizabeth II. Traditionally the “chism oil” — yes, really — has contained ingredients derived from the secretions of civets (also known as “those poop coffee cats“) as well as ambergris from the bile ducts of sperm whale intestines.
Due to concerns about animal cruelty, however, King Charles will use a special, animal-free variant of the “chism oil.” This will also be in keeping with his image as an environmentalism (which is not exactly an image I typically associate with Charles, but whatever).