Dedicated to Donald Trump, with all the sympathy he deserves.
Barenaked Ladies wrote about what they’d do with a million dollars even before the band formed in 1988. Frontmen Steven Page and Ed Robertson were working as counselors at a summer music camp, and they would sing this to the campers on the bus, filling in the back half of the line “If I had a million dollars…” with anything that would make the kids laugh. That’s one reason for the fixation on youthful concerns like a tree fort and Kraft Dinners (that’s what Kraft Mac and Cheese is called up North). The tune quickly became a concert favorite for the between-verses banter, which changed nightly.
One million dollars from 1988 would be worth $2.6 million today (that’s American – $1 million Canadian then spent like $2.2 million Canadian now). That would probably cover the more esoteric items in the song, a list inspired by Michael Jackson’s whims at the time – a monkey, exotic pets and the remains of “Elephant Man,” John Merrick, which Jackson reportedly tried to acquire. Jackson even inspired the line about the green dress – he bought one for Liz Taylor to wear to an awards show.
Over the years the song has become an icon of Canadian culture. In a distinctly Canadian wrinkle, it engendered some controversy over Page’s response to Robertson’s “I’d buy you a fur coat” – “But not a real fur coat, that’s cruel.” The Métis, indigenous people descended from Native Americans and European trappers, protested that it denigrated the way many of them still earned a living. There was no corresponding outcry from the green dress industry.
Fun fact: The “K-car,” a platform Chrysler used across its brands that is widely considered to have saved the company, was first manufactured in 1984 at three facilities, including Chrysler’s Newark assembly plant. By the time BNL’s song appeared the various K-cars, including the Plymouth Reliant, were a frequent sight in used-car lots.
