DL Open Thread: Saturday, May 24, 2025

Don’t feel guilty about not reading the Open Threads during this holiday weekend.  Oh, sure, I slave relentlessly over every syllable, trying to provide you with the finest DL Open Thread I’m capable of producing.  The anxiety courses through my veins as I struggle over when, and how(,?)  and if (,?) to use the Oxford Comma.

And you, you, you’ve left your mind at home and you’re already into your second Orange Crush down in Dewey. Before ten in the morning.   Say hi to Pete for me, you bottom-feeders. And what thanks do I get?

You know what?  I don’t need your affirmation.  I’m doing this for me, for ME, for-r-r-r ME-E-E-E-E:

Yeah. Sondheim wrote the lyrics, you ungrateful swine.  You don’t deserve Sondheim.  Drown in your bleeping Orange Crushes.  This one’s for me!

OK, I’ve figured this out.  Trump knows when he’s gonna say something that will make the markets go down, or will make the markets go up.  He lets his peeps know, and they all make money no matter which direction he sends the markets in.  Oops, someone thought of it first.  Someone always thinks of it first.  Except for ya Orange Crush-swilling lemmings.  I have to s-p-e-l-l everything out for you:

Am I the only one who believes Trump is manipulating the stock market with his wishy washy decisions about tariffs? I truly believe he’s doing it so his millionaire and billionaire friends can buy cheap and sell when it rebounds.

Yes, the extreme market fluctuations caused by the Trump twitter rants make massive amounts of gain for high volume speculators. This is not a coincidence, don’t believe the rhetoric that he is crazy and all the noise. Follow the money and you will see who is making large profits. The brilliance in it is that it couldn’t be more simple, everything is carefully choreographed to Trump’s tweets. Trump tweets something outrageous, the exchange goes into a wild sell off and the next day they buy back low. Trump is simply taking advantage of his position as he can’t be held legally responsible, there are no laws against it. Now we just have to see how much longer this can go on, eventually investors on the losing end could get tired of it and pull their funds.

Looks like that happened yesterday.  The market drop wasn’t as precipitous as one might have expected, given what he said.

That’s it, I’m done!  Go wallow in the nostalgia of some band you’ve seen at the beach for 40 years, and try to remember those days when you (and the band) had enough hormones (and their by-products) to make it through an entire weekend.

Me?  I’m saving up the good stuff for when I think you’re ready for the good stuff.

And, no, I’m not jealous about having to spend the entire holiday weekend doing laundry.  I love doing laundry.  Try it sometimes, ya filthy hippie wannabes!