DL Open Thread Sunday, Feb. 7, 2021

The challenges facing the country and the Biden administration are monumental, and some of them are not going to be undone as quickly as we all would like. Topping the flaming shitpile is the U.S. Postal Service. Trump installed Louis DeJoy as postmaster general not in spite of, but because the greedy little fuckstick has $70 million invested in its private-sector competitors. That gives the dildo-headed little putz incentive to fuck up the agency regardless of Trump’s influence. WaPo reports he intends soon to outline a new vision for the agency, one that includes more service cuts, higher and region-specific pricing and lower delivery expectations. The problem: Only the nine-member governing board can fire him, and it’s packed with Trumpers.

Bipartisanship fetishist Chris Coons had some critical words for Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-Tara), who refused to allow hearings on Biden’s pick for attorney general, Merrick Garland, meaning Garland might not be confirmed for another month. The Department of Justice, Coons said, is “trying to effectively investigate and respond to domestic terrorism. To have our country’s chief legal officer sidelined for weeks is needlessly harmful.” The magic power of Coons’ bipartisanship strikes again — and again fails to hit anything.

In case you missed it, McKinsey & Co. paid out $573 million to end a multi-state lawsuit over its sleazy advice to Purdue Pharmaceuticals on maximizing its opioid profits as well as destroying documents to try to cover it up. Delaware will receive about $2.58 million from the settlement. A more fitting punishment, of course, would be to revoke its Delaware incorporation charter.

Congressman Louie Gohmert, the guy who puts the “ass” in Texas, was one of two Republicans fined $5,000 apiece for evading metal detectors at the Capitol. Gohmert complained that he went through at the entrance but was nailed after he went to the bathroom and dodged the detector on the way out. “This isn’t ‘The Godfather,’ ” he whined, and he’s right, he might be a thug but he’s no Michael Corleone.

Have you noticed this year’s Super Bowl deflation? Not the footballs, the hype. It’s almost as if there’s merely going to be a football game today. BTW, the most-Googled Super Bowl recipe in Delaware this year was prawn toast, also known as shrimp toast. Trader Joe’s used to carry a really good frozen version but discontinued it, so now we have to make it ourselves.

Love it or hate it, McSweeney’s reliably delivers a particular strain of snark (some are boojums, you see). You know that snark — and its subject — just from the title: “The Terrible Things I Have Said and Done My Entire Life, and Right Up Until a Few Days Ago, Do Not Represent Me as a Person.”.