“…unfortunately or fortunately.”
A Brief Observation on the Verdict Declaring Donald Trump Sexually Assaulted E. Jean Carroll
There was a time in the not-so-distant past when it was just fine to sexually harass and assault women. Slapping a woman on the ass was supposed to be taken as a compliment. Discussion about women’s looks and their fuckability was a constant in workplaces. And by “fuckability,” I mean “rapeability” because it didn’t matter if the woman wanted to be judged that way. Consent was something that was given the moment a woman agreed to be alone with a man. It was a bullshit, stupid time, and a good many men didn’t buy into it. But a whole fuckin’ lot of them did and not enough of those good men did enough to stop it. So there was a kind of impunity, especially since a woman who didn’t “happily” accept the ass slaps and tit comments and sex propositions was seen as uptight and man-hating while a woman who didn’t give in to fucking when alone with a man who wanted to fuck was seen as a cocktease and prude. And if you were a woman who was raped by a man, your entire sexual history would be questioned, as well as what you wore and what you did to make that man rape you.
This is the gendered world that both E. Jean Carroll and Donald Trump came of age in. And when Carroll was alone with Trump in that dressing room at Bergdorf-Goodman, this fucked up sense of male desire being more important than female agency was overtly present.
“There was a time in the not-so-distant past…”
Just as Republicans have myths about a past golden age that never was, we should be careful to examine our own assumptions about a past dark age, which many of us can describe only from TV shows, pundits, and social media.
It’s not just sex. Entitled people almost always behave badly in many ways. Power corrupts, especially the small-minded. Entitled people are entitled because they hold some measure of power.
And it doesn’t take much power. A mother or a father can be a tyrant to their own families, or a small-time shopkeeper to his own employees.
Social media about sex charges usually is about celebrity cases. And the rich really are different from you and me.
I was a child during the actual Mad Men era, but I guess I led a sheltered life. The men I knew were respectful to women. Never saw ass slaps or tit comments. I guess I saw Johnny Carson making unfunny Dolly Parton jokes.
“not enough of those good men did enough to stop it.”
When loading up a moral lecture, please aim before pulling the trigger.
But yeah, the next time I’m smoking cigars in the steam room with Harvey Weinstein and Mel Gibson, I’ll tell them to cool it with women.
I can’t dispute your lived experience, but I started my professional life in an office (1989) with some old guys who absolutely could not accept that “sexual harassment” was a real thing.
Also – I think another good point from the post was that women had internalized the sexism, misogyny and discrimination as much as the men. So no alarm bells were ringing. And so no ringing alarm bells isn’t a great measure of anything.