Poll: Do you and your spouse pool finances or keep them separate?

Filed in National by on April 8, 2009

And if you don’t have a significant other, what would you want to do?

Discuss.

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A Dad, a husband and a data guru

Comments (33)

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  1. nemski says:
    April 8, 2009 at 8:38 am

    We’ve always pooled our finances, one checking account, one savings account.

    I’ve never understood how anyone could split the bills like you were roommates instead of a committed couple. Hopefully someone can explain.

  2. jason330 says:
    April 8, 2009 at 8:50 am

    I’m with Nemski. It is all mixed up and crazy just like a relationship should be.

  3. Dorian Gray says:
    April 8, 2009 at 8:54 am

    I can’t explain it Nemski, anymore than I can’t explain United’s rubbish performance yesterday. HA! Great defending… best of luck at the Dragão in a fortnight’s time. I hope Porto thrashes your boys… but I digress…

    Mrs. Gray & I do the same as you. One Credit Union account with checking & savings. We have a few separate retirment accounts but that’s it. As far as I’m concerned she could spend every dime. I frankly couldn’t care less. But I trust she won’t. I guess that’s why it has worked so well for 9 years.

  4. anon says:
    April 8, 2009 at 8:56 am

    We have separate checking accounts, joint savings account and we split the bills. Our committment is just fine. We don’t split the bills 50/50 like roommates, we each have certain bills we take care of. Like I pay the mortgage, she pays the car payments and day care, etc. When we have a big expense like a new roof or HVAC we either pay cash or take a low-interest loan from the credit union and pay it with automatic deductions. And separate checking accounts save a lot of hassle when you are both using ATM cards.

    We were both single for a long time and when we got married we were just in the habit of managing our own money. When she is out of work I fill up her checking account, and vice versa. We really don’t focus on whether it comes out “even” so it is sort of like pooling.

  5. Joanne Christian says:
    April 8, 2009 at 9:04 am

    Yup-everyone into the pool around here.

    But I do understand the split that some “couples” do. Usually stems from one being a real spender on “big ticket” items, or continuous (I don’t want to say compulsive here) buyer. Gives the non-buying partner satisfaction that frivolous purchasing in their mind isn’t underwritten by general funds, and the purchasing partner satisfaction they were responsible to household bills, and can now guilt-free shop with their own disposable income. Usually seen in comparable income couples, of the ones I know. And their relationships have lasted. Must be the answer. Since studies say, money philosophy is the biggest relationship downfall.

  6. meatball says:
    April 8, 2009 at 9:09 am

    In my house,
    my wife has her own account,
    each of my children have their own account,
    and then there is “our account.”

    The “our account” pays all the bills, vacations, car payments, most dinners out, car insurance, and my hobby expenses.

    My bride’s account basically pays her hobby expenses. Hair coloring, shoes, her Jeep collection, you know, shit nobody needs. A year ago, she resumed a full time work schedule for the first time in 15 years and said, “Maybe I could start paying one of the bills, say the grocery bill.” I said o.k.(obviously, she wasn’t paying attention to the biggest bill we pay after the mortgage).

    The kids use their accounts to pay for wants, never needs. I feel it helps in a small way to teach the value of a dollar even if neither of them has actually “earned” those dollars yet. Anyway, it’s a start.

    It still works for us after 19 years of wedded bliss.

    Another thing to think about….I’ve met dozens of widows (and widowers) over the years who had no idea how to keep the books in order. The other half always did it.

  7. Unstable Isotope says:
    April 8, 2009 at 9:11 am

    I’m in the pooled money group. I know some couples that have separate accounts. It sounds like a lot more work to me, but these couples have two people with very different spending habits and philosophies. It works for them, I guess joint accounts were too stressful in their relationship. I think the most important thing is that the couple agree to an arrangement.

  8. jason330 says:
    April 8, 2009 at 9:15 am

    We have separate checking accounts,

    You still need to vote on the sidebar widget so we can compile a psycho-graphic profile of Dl readers and calibrate our evil mind rays accordingly.

  9. Joanne Christian says:
    April 8, 2009 at 9:16 am

    “evil mind rays”–is that separate or pooled?!!

  10. Mike R. says:
    April 8, 2009 at 9:24 am

    A little of both, we each make a deposit from our own checking account into a joint account with each paycheck. This pays all the joint bills (mortgage, utilities, Insurance, Lowes Credit Card, and then some gets siphoned off into a joint savings account). We also have a joint credit card for monthly expenses that we split each month when it comes due (racking up the rewards points!) But after that everything is separate (car payments, personal credit cards, personal savings accounts, student loans.)

    We have slightly different spending habits, I am not as much of a saver as she so this means I can spend my own money and she is happy because we don’t have any joint debt (other then mortgage) and a plan each month for how everything gets paid.

  11. nemski says:
    April 8, 2009 at 9:39 am

    I had different spending habits from mrs. nemski, till I found out that my spending habits were wrong.

  12. liberalgeek says:
    April 8, 2009 at 9:40 am

    We pool. I know a couple that has seperate accounts and I am always amazed at the crap that comes out of the wife’s mouth. She makes about 30% of what the husband makes and she essentially a pauper with a wealthy roommate.

    One of my favorite lines was “When we were on vacation [which she paid for] we went out for a steak dinner one night and he paid for the whole thing. Isn’t that great?”

    No, it isn’t.

  13. jason330 says:
    April 8, 2009 at 9:43 am

    Can I guess the politcal party affiliation of the husband?

  14. anon says:
    April 8, 2009 at 9:48 am

    “evil mind rays”–is that separate or pooled?!!”

    Whatever you do, don’t… cross… the streams…

  15. Donsquishydishimaharishi says:
    April 8, 2009 at 9:51 am

    we have a bowl of food stamps and other welfare type things right on the kitchen table that we grab from

  16. anon says:
    April 8, 2009 at 9:52 am

    Funny how conventional wisdom about responsible financial planning always starts by assuming a steady secure stream of income.

    We were never able to make stable payment arrangements or commit to automatic deductions because our jobs are too unstable… between her going back to school and my uneven contract work, we never knew where we would be getting money from or who would be earning it… but somehow our combined incomes were always enough. Now it’s better because we paid our dues and have are both working… people look at our resumes and can’t believe the breadth and depth of the stuff we’ve done.

  17. anon says:
    April 8, 2009 at 9:53 am

    DV you have a leak in your pool

  18. anonone says:
    April 8, 2009 at 9:54 am

    Pool.

    Can I guess the politcal party affiliation of the husband?

    Crackin’ me up.

  19. anon says:
    April 8, 2009 at 9:56 am

    Can I guess the politcal party affiliation of the husband?

    Islamic?

  20. pandora says:
    April 8, 2009 at 10:10 am

    We’ve always pooled, although I guess you could say that since I’m a stay-at-home-mom I swim in his pool.

    This is surprisingly sensitive issue. I’ve been asked why do I bother buying Mr. Pandora birthday or Christmas presents since I’m using his money, and, therefore, not really buying him anything. There’s probably a valid point there, but I’m not seeing it.

  21. Unstable Isotope says:
    April 8, 2009 at 11:01 am

    One thing about pooled money is it is sort of hard to surprise each other with gifts, since you can see it come right out of the account.

    Pandora, it’s joint money. It’s a gift because you picked it out.

  22. Mrs XStryker says:
    April 8, 2009 at 11:05 am

    Pandora – that’s kind of a crappy thing to ask you. I hope you then said something fantastically cutting to them in response, and turned and walked away with a grand flourish.

    We pool. We’ve been pooling since before we were even engaged, honestly. When we were in college I took care of X, then he took care of me for awhile, and now it’s closer to even (although I make less than he does).

  23. anon says:
    April 8, 2009 at 11:10 am

    The real question: Do you have separate, or joint credit cards?

    (we have separate)

  24. liberalgeek says:
    April 8, 2009 at 11:14 am

    The husband is actually a moderate Democrat. As far as I am concerned, there should be a “financial abuse” charge that can be filed…

    I try not to think about it.

  25. jason330 says:
    April 8, 2009 at 11:19 am

    This is surprisingly sensitive issue. I’ve been asked why do I bother buying Mr. Pandora birthday or Christmas presents since I’m using his money, and, therefore, not really buying him anything. There’s probably a valid point there, but I’m not seeing it.

    There is no remotely valid point there.

  26. nemski says:
    April 8, 2009 at 11:22 am

    In a married couple is bad debt shared equally in the eyes of the financial world?

  27. liberalgeek says:
    April 8, 2009 at 11:22 am

    There is no remotely valid point there.

    Agreed. The person that said that was jealous of your situation.

    And now I’m sorry that I said it… 🙂

  28. anonone says:
    April 8, 2009 at 11:26 am

    The husband is actually a moderate Democrat.

    I knew it!

  29. pandora says:
    April 8, 2009 at 11:30 am

    You know what’s really embarrassing? The idiotic way I’ve handled that question. I get all… well, I do this, and I do that, and I don’t get paid… when I should just say STFU. But, on some level, this hits a nerve with me. If it didn’t I would simply laugh it off.

    Still not laughing. Maybe I should make an appointment with Mrs. Hotviti! 😉

  30. Weer'd Beard says:
    April 8, 2009 at 11:37 am

    Both. Most of the money goes into a common pool. But we also have an allowance that is money we can spend however we wish.

    Works damn well.

  31. nemski says:
    April 8, 2009 at 11:46 am

    I . . . agree . . . with . . . Weer’d Beard . . .

  32. Dana says:
    April 8, 2009 at 6:28 pm

    Joint checking and savings accounts. The 401(k) accounts are separate, but that’s because they are through employers. Mrs Pico’s name is on the accounts for our daughters, for convenience’s sake.

  33. Brian Shields says:
    April 8, 2009 at 7:17 pm

    My wife and I each have personal checking and personal savings accounts, all opened prior to getting together (married for almost 2 years, but lived together for 7, so we kept things separate for a long time)

    We also have a joint checking account. We now pay all of our bills through that account. We sat down and tried to think of a fair way to balance who pays what, and we ended up going by percentage. If I earned 40% of the income, I pay 40% of the bills, set an amount based on a budget, and just transfer that amount in every month.

    This way there is no “I’m paying for your car.” or “I pay the mortgage, the house is mine.”

    We decided that instead of having a joint savings, we repurpose our then empty savings accounts. Mine is for the eventual down payment on a house, hers is our emergency fund. Auto transfers into each account every month.

    That way we also don’t criticize each others’ spending habits. We don’t see it.

    Then again.. going to college changed everything, but in time we will revert back to our plan because it worked out well for both of us.

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