It’s not bribery it’s work!

Filed in National by on June 12, 2007

I’m in Mexico this week.  Actually right about now I’m on a plane. NO, no, I’m not on vacation though.  It is part of the Donviti Immigration Guest Worker Investigation Program actually.  I’m going to Mexico to see why these people (for those of you that are rascist democrats when I say “these people” I mean beaners) anywho, I’m going to see why these people wink, wink Hate Mexico.  And “invade” our country, bring disease and bugs with them and in general ruin our country, more specifically beautiful Elsmere. 

Since Jason has advertised on the radio we have been hit with lobbying companies left and right. I took up the Speak English Only lobby on their offer to show me how the Mexicans live in the lowlands known as Puerto Vallarta. Translated I think it means – “lowly person that hates their country and will run to America to ruin theirs by not speaking English, stealing their women and eating their babies”  That is a loose translation but you guys get the point. 

I plan on learning how to buy beer, snorkel, use peso’s and feel like a superior human being in a foreign land.  I’ve been reading up on how to handle myself as an American and apparently if they don’t understand English you JUST YELL REALLY LOUD AND it sinks in.  That technique can be used anywhere in the world too.

I’ll report back all my findings next week, but for the remainder of the week I be dropping some loads here and there for you all to read. 

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Comments (5)

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  1. Disbelief says:

    Also, when dealing with locals on their own turf, don’t forget to be pompous, discourteous, arrogant and inconsiderate. It makes them think you’re superior to them, and adds to the flavor of your learning experience.

    And if this strategy backfires on you, they’ll probably think you’re a Republican; so no harm done.

  2. Chris says:

    “I be dropping some loads here and there for you all to read. ”

    A truer word was never said.

  3. Hube says:

    don: Just wear that T-shirt of yours that reads “Soy Pendejo.” That’ll do the trick.

  4. G Rex says:

    Feel free to drink the water, DV. I hear Halliburton has cleaned up that whole intestinal parasite thing.

  5. Al says:

    Why do you have so much trouble with “these people?”