Why Don’t We Talk About The Real Victims – Fallen Politicians?
Last week’s News Journal brings us this wacky letter to the editor:
I enjoyed your June 26 editorial pointing out politically prominent men involved in adulterous relationships. There are many more, each representing hundreds of column inches of newsprint taking the same approach: “ain’t it awful” – “poor wronged wife” – “ruined career.” Other aspects might be worth mentioning.
1. A woman who is surprised certainly doesn’t know her husband very well.
2. For every man who goes astray, there is a woman gone astray with him.
3. It takes testicles to succeed in politics. Is that what makes these men susceptible?
4. Everyone acts as though there is no such thing as an aggressive woman. That’s just not true.
5. Very few men know how to handle an aggressive woman. “Hell hath no fury like the wrath of a woman scorned.” It takes some delicate maneuvering to avoid the determination of an intelligent, attractive woman who has you in her sights.
By pretending there are no aggressive women, and it is always the man’s fault, we make it almost impossible for any naive men to learn what they need to know. This is a complex topic and deserves a dispassionate approach.
Let’s start with this part:
Very few men know how to handle an aggressive woman. “Hell hath no fury like the wrath of a woman scorned.” It takes some delicate maneuvering to avoid the determination of an intelligent, attractive woman who has you in her sights.
I agree this is pretty silly (be afraid, very afraid of attractive but aggressive women), but it puts into focus what I think of as a central issue of feminism: women are people, too. This may seem obvious to most of you but there is still a very strong tendency in our culture to portray women as guardians of the morals and defenders of the home. One thing that everyone should recognize is that not all women are the same: some women are aggressive, some women are shy, some women like pink, some don’t, some are mathematically talented, others are more verbally gifted, etc. Women are not all the same, we are individuals and we would like to be treated as such.
This one is simple:
It takes testicles to succeed in politics. Is that what makes these men susceptible?
NO, to all of it.
By pretending there are no aggressive women, and it is always the man’s fault, we make it almost impossible for any naive men to learn what they need to know. This is a complex topic and deserves a dispassionate approach.
Again, I agree (sorta)! It’s not only the woman’s fault either, as the letter writer implies. Everyone is responsible for their own behavior. This is what I consider as a second principle of feminism (stop blaming the victim). When someone has an affair, both people are at fault – the married person knows they are married and the person they are carrying on the affair with knows they are married (usually). Unless there is something else going on, this is an agreement between two consenting adults. Mark Sanford, John Ensign, John Edwards and Eliot Spitzer all went into their affairs with their eyes wide open, and now they are feeling the consequences, as they should.
Tags: Family Values, feminism
How much do you want to bet that this guy didn’t think Bill Clinton was victimized by Monica?
This letter writer bypasses the whole idea that only one of them saying NO would have avoided most of it. If you are a wingnut moral values warrior, you are brought down more for the hypocrisy than for the adultery. If you are Elliot Spitzer, you are brought down because what you did was illegal (and in context of being AG, hypocritical).
Now see, this letter strikes me as a married man’s excuse.
The a woman who is surprised certainly doesn’t know her husband very well point seems like a way to say that had only the wife “paid more attention” she could have avoided the situation.
The second point seems obvious. The third gives the sword is mightier than the pen excuse and the fourth is simply nonsense… unless no one has ever heard the “she stole him from me” whine. Which, btw, is bogus – nobody can “steal” what’s being offered.
The fifth is silly and convenient. According to this statement a man doesn’t stand a chance once that vixen sets her sights on him. Geez, doesn’t this letter insult you men?
And who ever claimed it was all the man’s fault? Wasn’t the article about politically prominent men? The article, by its very nature, focuses on men with a lot to lose. In situations like Sanford, Edwards, etc. the other women are symptoms of a bigger personality problem… say, ego?
Does the loony letter really need to be reviewed?
As Mr. T would say “I pity the fool!”
This letter writer bypasses the whole idea that only one of them saying NO would have avoided most of it.
Exactly
Now see, this letter strikes me as a married man’s excuse.
Exactly
Geez, doesn’t this letter insult you men?
Yes, I hate the whole argument that “boys will be boys” and can’t control themselves, so therefore nothing is ever their fault. I think it’s pretty insulting to men.
Does the loony letter really need to be reviewed?
Unfortunately, there’s a whole lot of people who still think this way. I wonder how many people read that letter and said “right on!”
Mrs Isotope wrote:
Who says that the Delaware Libersls can’t be bipartisan? 🙂
All a middle aged guy wants is marriage, companionship, love, and sex. Too bad for those who can’t get it all from one woman. Some will cheat, some will just go without. Either way it is a tragedy.
Oh puhleeze. Tragedy? I’m cryin’ here. 🙂
See?
🙂
Some will get divorced and find someone who meets their needs better. Some will work on their marriage so that the needs of both the spouses are better aligned.
“It takes some delicate maneuvering to avoid the determination of an intelligent, attractive woman who has you in her sights.”
Tell me about it. Are you with me Don HotViti?
But what about the children 🙂
Perhaps some of the qualities that make for a good campaigner may be misused to get some ‘strange stuff’. Not all politicians are charismatic to this degree. Imagine John Quincy Adams having an affair. Then again, Warren G. Harding was probably the first ‘Horn Dog’ president. De gustibus non est disputandem.
The great Grover Cleveland ducked a smear campaign by simple candor and took a ‘child bride’ while president. The nation was delighted and his youngest son survived until the 1990s.
Thus endeth the trivia…….