Donviti PSA #4521
Look, I understand people are old and using the swipe machine at every freaking checkout counter for about 95% of any transaction you make can be a daunting task perhaps for the first month or two that your pharmacy and grocery store have had them installed. But, this is 2009 you old bastards and both of those places you go use them and have for a good 5 years. Hell, your church is one step from using them. I’d beg to say that your doctor, all 9 of them has been swiping your debit card for the better part of your retirement.
So, my PSA is this:
Get your check card ready. You are going to use it you old bastards. You know it, I know it, the 7 people in line behind your decrepit ass in Velcro pleather shoes know it, my 9 month old son knows it and I have a 95% confidence rate that my 2 dogs even know it. Then, be prepared to push buttons and perhaps use the wand thingy that acts like a magical pen from your Howdy Doody days of Television. You don’t want cash back because yes, the Taliban could rob you on your way out of the store.
Also, If your eyes are failing, which based on how you drive I’m also confident they are, get your glasses ready, even go ahead and buy one of those chain thingy things that librarians use so you don’t have to worry about leaving them in the car and asking your spouse where you put them. Your old, it’s ok, wearing those wont make you look “older”. We got you pegged for 60 plus and after that we could care less about how old you are, your old end of story there are only varying degrees of oldness at this point.
Now, this is the important part. Once you see the cashier finish scanning your heart medicine and your 30 day supply of suppositories it is safe to assume you can get out your card and have it all ready to go. Assuming you were going to pay for the merchandise it is even safer to assume you could have had the freaking card ready prior to walking in to Rite Aid. Now, we readers and my extended family as described above all have a level of tolerance but, these transactions are no longer new. We have given you the benefit of the doubt for the better part of this decade.
Get your shit together. Enough is enough, all TV’s are digital for God’s sakes it is time to put away the change purse.
Thank you
Can I still get in the express lane with 55 items, and can I write a check for 15 cents?
You are heartless, dude. Funny, but heartless nevertheless. 🙂
And, if having your card ready is too challenging for you, could you at LEAST help bag your own bleeping groceries???
And to think I remember the days of the checkkbook coming out with a rubber band wrapped around it and 4 inches of appointment cards, coupons, IDs, and Dunkin’ Donut frequent flyer passes, to undo and BEGIN to write the check after all was done, totaled, bagged, and discussed. You’re complaining about a debit card? They’ve come a long way baby!!!!
What? What did you say?
Not only the check card/credit card being ready, but have your cash ready, too. I don’t know how many times I’ve gone shopping and if the person if paying with cash, they wait until everything is totaled to break out their wallet. UGH!!!
And Joanne – I use coupons! But I always have them ready.
Actually, the Super Giant down here has scanners you can use to scan your goods, bag them and it makes checking out a breeze. Ask Mike Miller. 🙂
I love the asshats who not only wait until everything is totaled to break out their checkbooks, but stand at the counter to balance it after the transaction.
You seem in a rush and harried.
Maybe you could slow down & use some relaxation techniques.
Take a deep breath and count to ten. Repeat…
I will gladly conform to all of the above, as soon as the electronic-card-swipe-machine folks do one simple thing:
STANDARDIZE THE DAMN MACHINES!!
Why do I have to read them in every blessed store in order to know which activity to perform and which button to press?
Why do they ask stupid things like:
Swipe your Happy Canary card now
Press here for No Happy Canary card today.
Are you sure you don’t have a card? Ask your clerk about a Happy Canary card today for more savings!
And:
Press enter to confirm (and there’s no button marked “enter”; there’s a green button, a blue button and a red button. And what IS that blue button for?)
And :
Press here for “helping hands” assistance with your packages. (Lord, I hate that one the most)
Give me the same buttons and the same questions, every time, okay? Then, I won’t even need the glasses…..
Respectfully submitted,
Old Progressive Mom
Tobin assumes DV can count to 10. Elitist!
Miscreant–I remembered after I submitted about the check register entry–thanks for feeling my pain
too.
My bad, oh noctambulistic one.
Can DV count to five and just do it twice as often?
I love the asshats who not only wait until everything is totaled to break out their checkbooks, but stand at the counter to balance it after the transaction.
Extra asshat points to the idiots who talk on the cell phones while balancing their checkbooks at the counter.
*Index finger waging*
One post about ‘in you face’ raicsm, the next post is ‘in your face’ ageism.
I agree w/Cassandra: it’s about idiocy regardless of race, creed, age, or sexual preference.
sounds like an age discrimination problem here…
cass-I don’t think they are talking on cell phones, unless it’s a jitterbug–they are talking to whoever drove them there, about going back and getting the lime jello instead of the lemon, because it will work better after thinking about it.
It’s so easy to balance your checkbook with all those 85 cent purchases of Wawa coffee to write down.
Beyond that, idiocy and lack of consideration know not age.
While we are on pet peeves at the grocery:
– Cashiers who lick their fingers to separate the plastic bags
– Cashiers who put the bills in your outstretched hand, then shower the coins on top of the bills so they spill out onto the floor.
Cashiers who put the bills in your outstretched hand, then shower the coins on top of the bills so they spill out onto the floor.
I hate that.
What’s your rush….got to do something important, like go home and blog or watch American Idol? Of course, I do use a debit card….most young cashiers can’t figure out how to make change.