UPDATED: Why is “Mascot Matchups” so effective at picking Super Bowl Outcomes? Part i & ii

I’m 6 for 7 (86%) That’s pretty effing good. I’d be 7 for 7, but Pete Carroll inexplicably screwed the pooch. Even at 86%, compare that to your stock picking prowess and bow down. Okay, get up and read on. I’m not keeping my secret under a bushel basket. I’m about to share my secrets with the world. …THE WORLD!!

The short answer to the question posed in the headline is that it is so effective because it is science. The long answer is that “mascot matchups” recognize that the Super Bowl isn’t a sporting event. The Super Bowl is a secular religious festival more similar to the ancient Greek’s Great Dionysia, or the Aztec’s xiuhmolpilli than a mere sporting event like the “World Series” of American Bases Ball.

As such, it has far reaching economic and cultural significance. For example, do you know that the Super Bowl winner in a Presidential Election year predicts the outcome of the Presidential Election? Well, it does.

Since the founding of the Super Bowl, in events held during election years, when the AFC teams wins we elect the Republican. When the NFC team wins, we elect a Democrat. There are only 3 exceptions to that rule (1976:Carter/Steelers AFC, 1988:GHWB/Washington NFC, 2000:GWB/Rams NFC). You’ll notice that since 1992, and the the rule gets even more predictive (from 75% to 83%). That’s mainly because because the event went from using “Up with People” and College marching bands for the half-time entertainment to using Gloria Estefan. Statisticians have a word with this type of undeniable causality. That word is coincidence. Yes – it is used pejoratively, but it is because they fear what they don’t understanding.

In Part ii of this I’ll bring you into the fold of the understanders and let you know why you better pray for a big Carolina Panthers win. But, then again your prayers are useless, they fall to he ground like dry leaves. It is all foretold in the science of mascot matchups.