Author Archives: pandora

About pandora

A stay-at-home mom with an obsession for National politics.

The Nest Is Empty And, Boy, Does It Feel Strange

I haven’t been blogging a lot because this spring and summer have been crazy. My youngest graduated high school, had her wisdom teeth removed, and attended orientation at the university she finally decided on. My oldest knocked off a summer course at UD (He’s starting his senior year of Mech Engineering and decided to take a required gen-ed Philosophy course over the summer mainly because he knew he wouldn’t give it the attention it needed given his course load this year. Sounded like a good philosophy to me!) Add to that all the shopping for my daughter’s dorm, ordering textbooks, finalizing class schedules, endless list making, packing up two kids, scheduling doctor’s appointments before both of them left the state, and fitting in a lot of family time and you’ll see why my blogging lagged.

I still read DL every day!

But this weekend everything came to a screeching halt. They left. In the blink of an eye I went from having a million things to do and a house full of people (and chaos!) to… silence. That freaked me out.

And even though they haven’t been gone long the impact is immediate and it’s kinda silly what I notice (besides missing their company!). Things like… not running the dishwasher twice a day. Preparing a meal without considering everyone’s preferences. Not organizing car usage. Grocery bills under 250.00. Not stepping over discarded shoes, clothes, backpacks, etc.. I’ve gone from considering the needs of four people to only thinking about two. Suddenly my time is my own and I have no idea what to do with it. I’m feeling a little lost, and if I’m honest… a little useless.

I started looking for a job several years ago and the only thing I’ve learned is that I’m pretty much not hire-able. I’ve been out of the workforce for 21 years. (Wow!) It’s just a little depressing to keep applying for jobs and not even getting a call back. It’s also a little scary to think that once I’m done cleaning and organizing the house (that will actually stay that way now that the kids are gone) I won’t have much to do. Mr. Pandora has a lot of “suggestions“. I do love that man!

Is this how retired people feel? I’m not old enough to retire, but it does feel like my job has ended. (I know that a parents’ job never ends, but this is the end of a stage.) A part of me finds myself questioning my decision to stay home with my kids. Don’t get me wrong, I loved being home with them and I couldn’t be prouder. Two kids in college, both engineering majors and both on scholarships is something I’m extremely proud of. And yes, I will take some credit for that. Not all, since my kids worked hard to get into their universities with enough scholarship money to graduate without loans and debt. But… I can’t help but wonder as I sit here typing this post if I, maybe, should have gone back to work when they started school? Altho, when I think of what I would have given up I can’t really bring myself to regret my decision. I’m a bit conflicted.

Going back to work when the kids start school isn’t that easy for a city resident. Since the state and school districts decided to create high poverty schools and pull out all desirable programs, city parents are forced to Choice. That means city residents are responsible for driving their kids to and from school. I don’t even know the luxury of a school bus. Everyday, depending on the grade, I had to drive and pick up my kids. And given the age difference of my children, drop off and pick up spanned a big chunk of time. I’m not sure how working parents accomplish dropping one kid off at 7:20 and another off at 8:20 and then picking one up at 2:15 and another up at 3:15. If your kids have a bus… lucky you. And, lucky me. As a stay-at-home mom I had the luxury of blocking out 3 hours of my day to drive my kids to school and pick them up and drive them home. That was my privilege.

Now I find myself with a lot of time on my hands. Mr. Pandora has already scheduled two trips for us in September and October. Have I mentioned I love that man! He also travels quite extensively for work – to really cool places. Hello, China! – and is thrilled that I’ll finally be able to hop onto these trips. I’m extremely lucky.

As I type this I wonder what the hell my problem is. I’m also wondering who I am, and what use I serve, without children at home. I think my plan is to start volunteering (I’ve always supported Planned Parenthood. I should start there) and even if that never turns into a paid position at least I’ll be doing something I believe in.

The chicks have flown. The nest is empty. And I’m a little lost. Who am I without children at home? A question I probably should have asked myself earlier, but, in my defense, I was really busy! 😉

Why Does The Republican Establishment Expect Trump To Apologize To Megyn Kelly?

I’ve come to accept that the Republican establishments only chance of getting rid of Donald Trump is to get him to self implode – since not one of these professed leaders will ever take him on. The best they can do is lob a few personal attacks at him, tsk tsk his tone, and (dare I say it?) point out how un-PC he is. What they don’t do is call out his policy or the substance of his comments.

When Trump made his remarks about Mexican immigrants and the GOP feigned outrage he said, “The crime is raging and it’s violent. And if you talk about it, it’s racist.” Ooh, that line is straight out of the Republican playbook. In GOPland, being called a racist is a gazillion times worse than being a racist.

When Trump said, “He’s (John McCain) not a war hero. He’s a war hero because he was captured. I like people who weren’t captured.” the Republican establishment thought, “Ah ha! Now we’ve got him!” What they ignored was the fact that Republicans are quite comfortable in not supporting all the troops. Swiftboating and booing a gay serviceman is a-okay with them.

Which brings us to Trump’s remarks about Megyn Kelly. Why would anyone think these comments would hurt him? And if you’re wondering why the GOP response to Trump is, once again, so lame consider this: If your party depends on the claim that there isn’t a war on women then what’s the big deal with what Trump said? How is the attack on Megyn Kelly worse than Trump’s attacks on Mexican immigrants and John McCain?

And there’s the rub. Republicans are trying to portray Trump’s words against Kelly as the bridge too far. But, how can they do that when they don’t really believe in sexism?

The truth is… the GOP Presidential field is fine with Trump’s comments about Megyn Kelly, John McCain and Mexican immigrants. What they aren’t fine with is Trump. It’s why their outrage over these comments rings hollow – their outrage over Trump isn’t policy based, it’s personal.

Basically, Trump has beaten them at their own game. The only way they can successfully call out Trump is to call out themselves.

Where Are The Smarter Balanced Test Results?

According to Kavips (posted on August 1st):

It has been 7 days now that the Delaware Department has sat on the results of the Smarter Balanced Assessments. Day one was the release by other states of their preliminary data alerting all that the state now had the results


One must ask why in the “most open and transparent administration in Delaware’s history” (Markell’s state of the state claim) we are still waiting for the preliminary data to be released.

Do we really have the results? The test was given last spring (March and April) so you’d think for a test to have educational impact the results would be available quickly.

Looks like school is starting at the end of this month. Which begs the question… How are we planning on using the Smarter Balanced Assessment (SBA) test results? Will the children who do not pass the test be retained? Given extra schooling (Obviously it’s too late for summer school)? Doubtful. So how will this test improve their education? “Oh, you failed the 5th grade SBA. Good luck in 6th grade, hopefully next years 5th graders will improve, but it’s too late for you!”

This test should be used to identify student problems and correct them, but how can that happen if we don’t even have the results? What’s the point of a test that doesn’t give the necessary feedback in a timely manner?

Once again, this isn’t about the kids – especially the kids who fail this oh so important test and get pushed along. Maybe there’s a plan, but we’d need to actually see the flippin’ test scores first. I’m sticking with my prediction: These scores won’t be good, and will probably do more to fuel the opt-out movement than anything else.

Anyone know when these scores will be released?

 

Can You Chip In To Help Planned Parenthood?

Never mind that this probably won’t pass… yet. The writing is on the wall, and it doesn’t have a single thing to do with abortion (Hello, Hyde Amendment). But given the rampant ignorance and stupidity within the Republican Party we really need to send a message.

Via WSJ:

The Senate will vote as early as Monday on a bill to strip Planned Parenthood of federal funding, a largely symbolic vote causing pain for centrists in both parties and drawing fire from conservatives who say it won’t satisfy their quest to put the organization out of business.

The bill isn’t expected to garner the 60 votes needed to advance, as nearly all Democrats object to it. Its defeat, however, won’t end the effort to cut off federal money for Planned Parenthood.

When you consider the Hyde Amendment, you need to ask yourself, what is the real agenda of the GOP? The correct answer is that The War on Women continues. This is really about contraception… and women who have the ability to have an enjoy sex (a mythical creature in GOP land, among GOP men and women – which is really sad.) without the fear of pregnancy.

Let’s dissect the language:

At a press conference today, Ernst and eight other senators — : Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, Kentucky Senator and presidential wannabe Rand Paul, Tim Scott of South Carolina, John Cornyn of Texas, John Thune of South Dakota, Deb Fischer of Nebraska, Johnny Isakson of Georgia, James Lankford of Oklahoma — said that the women who use Planned Parenthood would have no trouble finding somewhere else to go.

“Women who do actually have legitimate healthcare needs other than abortion are taken care of in this legislation,” Cornyn said. “It will actually increase women’s access to primary care.”

“What we’d like to see,” added Ernst, “are those dollars being directed to hospitals, community health centers that offer women’s healthcare alternatives.”

“Legitimate healthcare needs?” Legitimate???? Alternatives… to what? Oh, I know the answer.

Remember when Rick Santorum let the cat out of the bag?

“One of the things I will talk about, that no president has talked about before, is I think the dangers of contraception in this country.” And also, “Many of the Christian faith have said, well, that’s okay, contraception is okay. It’s not okay. It’s a license to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be.”

Sexual realm? Bet he’s a tiger in bed! And now this position is pretty much Republican gospel. This isn’t about abortion, it’s about access to birth control – you know, something Republican men support for their mistresses, but not for their wives. (Same goes for abortion, btw.)

I am so over this. I spent over a decade of my life relying on Planned Parenthood – as did most women. If you agree, then it’s time to open your wallets and donate. And if you don’t agree with me (and many supposedly liberal/progressive men don’t consider this a “real” issue, because women issues, for some reason, don’t count as the “real” economy. Wonder why?) then my guess is that you’re a “older” man who doesn’t think this impacts you.

Go ahead and donate. Your sons and daughters will thank you.

 

Al Mascitti, Bill Cosby And Me

I have avoided this topic, mainly because it seems so obvious. Bill Cosby drugged women in order to sexually assault them. That’s my opinion and I’m sticking with it. Via NYT:

While Mr. Cosby insisted the only drug he had given Ms. Constand was Benadryl, he was open about his access in the 1970s to quaaludes, a sedative also popular as a party drug.

He said he obtained seven prescriptions for them over two to three years from a doctor in Los Angeles, ostensibly for a sore back but in reality to give to women.

He admitted to giving young women quaaludes at that time “the same as a person would say have a drink,” he said, but not without their knowledge.

Though he portrayed the drug-taking and sex as consensual, Mr. Cosby — when asked whether Ms. Serignese was in a position to consent to sexual intercourse after he gave her quaaludes in 1976 — said: “I don’t know.”

So, he admits to that – and that’s a biggie.

Which brings me to my conversation with Al Mascitti. Al did a good job today, but he was up against a ton of stupid with Wally and John. The kind of stupid women deal with on a daily basis – yep, even from “Progressive” men. The theme, which is constantly on display, is that women are liars, set out to destroy innocent men’s lives. After all, why would Cosby – a famous, rich man – have to drug women to have sex? Women are falling over themselves to have sex this guy… right? Here’s the answer. Remove sex from the equation and insert power. Of course, Cosby could have sex with a lot of women, but he didn’t want those women. I’m not even sure he wanted sexual acts. What he wanted was power and control. See the difference?

And there are too many of these guys in society. (I, and LiberalGeek, have linked to this study before.)

He found them by, over a 20-year period, asking some 2,000 men in college questions like this: “Have you ever had sexual intercourse with someone, even though they did not want to, because they were too intoxicated [on alcohol or drugs] to resist your sexual advances?”

Or: “Have you ever had sexual intercourse with an adult when they didn’t want to because you used physical force [twisting their arm, holding them down, etc.] if they didn’t cooperate?”

About 1 in 16 men answered “yes” to these or similar questions.

Everybody got that? 1 in 16.

It might seem like it would be hard for a researcher to get these men to admit to something that fits the definition of rape. But Lisak says it’s not. “They are very forthcoming,” he says. “In fact, they are eager to talk about their experiences. They’re quite narcissistic as a group — the offenders — and they view this as an opportunity, essentially, to brag.”

What Lisak found was that students who commit rape on a college campus are pretty much like those rapists in prison. In both groups, many are serial rapists. On college campuses, repeat predators account for 9 out of every 10 rapes.

And these offenders on campuses — just like men in prison for rape — look for the most vulnerable women. Lisak says that on a college campus, the women most likely to be sexually assaulted are freshmen.

They. Brag. About. It. As long as you don’t call it rape. Using physical force? That’s okay. They didn’t want to have sex? Go on ahead! Too drunk to consent? Well, that’s a green light – with the added bonus of it being her fault!

And if you defend this behavior (or blame the woman), please know that YOU are a big part of the problem. If you trot out Duke or Rolling Stone’s bad journalism as examples – YOU are part of the problem.

Basically, if you dismiss voter fraud as a real issue, but trot out false rape accusations (even though they are in line with every other false criminal accusation) YOU are part of the problem… and probably relate to MRAs (Men’s Rights Activists) and PUAs/Anti PUAs (Pick-Up Artists/Anti-Pick-Up Artists) – you know, like Elliot Rodgers.

If you think most women lie about these things – YOU are not only part of the problem, YOU give cover to those raping women – because if the miniscule amount of false accusations (which rarely – and I mean rarely – result in prosecution, let alone any sort of punishment) is your focus, then your focus is screwed up. But, I’d bet that’s deliberate, because if this is the hill you’ve chosen to die on, while ignoring other hills (falsely accused of murder, embezzlement, robbery, etc.) then you need to reexamine where you are coming from and why sexual crimes against women hold a uniquely special place in your outrage. If you are not crying “innocent until proven guilty!” for people charged with murder, embezzlement, drug dealing, etc. then you need to sit down and be quiet about this… or , better yet, ask yourself what’s so different about this accusation?

We need to teach our sons about consent. I have a son, and I have all the same fears as you have. I am not anti-male. In fact, I probably worry more about my son than my daughter, because pregnancy isn’t something I have a say in when it comes to him and his partner. That’s her call. So when it comes to sex I talk about the consequences (out of his control) more with my son. Go figure.

In August my daughter becomes a freshmen at university. Am I worried. Sure. I know there will be predators targeting her – predators egged on by good guys. What would make me sleep better is if we could all teach our boys to not only understand consent, but to call out the 1 in 16 who brag about their assaults over brewskies. Imagine if men started calling out this behavior. It would go a long way.

And because this always needs to be said… #notallmen.

All Things Being Equal, John Still Gets The Advantage Over Jennifer

This morning I dropped my daughter off for her university orientation. She’s attending school in Philadelphia – she’s a declared Mechanical Engineering major on scholarship. We are very proud of her accomplishments. So… when a study like this comes out it worries me.

For the study, researchers from Yale University asked more than 100 science faculty members at academic institutions across the country to evaluate one of two student rĂ©sumĂ©s. The rĂ©sumĂ©s were identical except for one small part: The candidate’s name was either John or Jennifer. Despite both candidates having the exact same qualifications and experience, science faculty members were more likely to perceive John as competent and select him for a hypothetical lab manager position.

And it didn’t stop there. Female and male science faculty members alike offered John a higher salary than they did Jennifer and were more willing to offer him mentoring opportunities.

The discrepancy in John and Jennifer’s treatment is important because women are woefully underrepresented in STEM fields, especially in engineering and computing. Gender bias contributes to scenarios in which women like “Jennifer” are evaluated as less competent, less hirable, and less valuable than identically qualified male counterparts.

Another study by researchers at Columbia University, Northwestern University, and the University of Chicago found that participants acting as employers systematically underestimated the mathematical performance of women compared with men. The result? The experiment’s employers hired lower-performing men over higher-performing women for mathematical work.

Reread that last sentence: “The experiment’s employers hired lower-performing men over higher-performing women for mathematical work.” You don’t say?

What about… “The rĂ©sumĂ©s were identical except for one small part: The candidate’s name was either John or Jennifer. Despite both candidates having the exact same qualifications and experience, science faculty members were more likely to perceive John as competent and select him for a hypothetical lab manager position.”

This tells me that no matter how good my daughter is, her gender will be a strike against her – unless she works harder, and does way better than a man. If Jennifer has the same rĂ©sumĂ© as John… too bad, Jennifer. You’ll have to be better than John, but, even then, you still might not get hired since employers seem just fine with hiring lower-performing men over higher-performing women in math.

We are a STEM family (Mr. Pandora is an engineer. Our son is one year away from his Mech Engineering degree. My brother is the head of Immunology for a major pharmaceutical company. My sister-in-law works for MIT.), so this research causes me concern. It tells my daughter that not only does she have to excel at her career path she has to work even harder/do better than her male counterparts – that the bar set for her is higher than for men who sit next to her in the exact same classrooms, and do the same – or worse! – on tests/coursework.

That’s not fair, and it needs to change. Now.

Michigan Circuit Judge Lisa Gorcyca Needs To Be Fired

There are some stories that you just can’t get out of your head. This is one of them. Here’s the brief synopsis:

Three Oakland County children who refused to go to lunch with their father, as part of a bitter divorce and custody battle between their parents, are spending their summer in the county’s juvenile detention center, according to court records.

“We’ll review it when school starts, and you may be going to school there,” Oakland County Family Court Judge Lisa Gorcyca told the children during a June 24 hearing, referring to the center in Waterford Township called Children’s Village, where authorities house as many as 200 juvenile offenders.

Gorcyca, who blamed their mother for poisoning the children’s attitude toward their father, ordered the children be sent to the center for defying her orders — while in court — that they go to lunch with their father.

The children — ranging in age from 9 to 15 — were deemed in contempt of court last month by Gorcyca for disobeying her orders to “have a healthy relationship with your father.”

First, how in the world do you order a person to have a “healthy relationship” with another person? And let’s say that the mother is the worst person in the world and did turn her children against their father… why the hell would you punish the children?

Is this even legal?

The most generous spin I can put on this is that the judge has mental problems – which still results in her being fired. Here are some choice quotes:

An Oakland County circuit judge who sent three children to a juvenile detention facility for refusing to speak to their father compared the kids to cult leader Charles Manson.

Oakland Circuit Judge Lisa Gorcyca declared the children of Maya Tsimhoni in contempt of court last month and ordered them held at Oakland County Children’s Village until they attempt to have a relationship with their father or they turn 18.

The three — ages 9, 10, and 15 — have been incarcerated for more than two weeks . . .

“I do apologize if I didn’t understand the rules,” said one boy, 15, “but I do not apologize for not talking to (the father) because I have a reason for that and that’s because he’s violent and I saw him hit my mom and I’m not going to talk to him.”

The father has not been charged with a crime.

Gorcyca called the boy a “defiant, contemptuous young man” and asked him if there was anything he’d like to say about being sent to Children’s Village.

“I didn’t do anything wrong,” the boy said.

“No, you did,” Gorcyca said.

“I ordered you to talk to your father. You chose not to talk to your father. You defied a direct court order. It’s direct contempt so I’m finding you guilty of civil contempt.”

The boy responded: “But he was the one that (did) something wrong. I thought there (were) rules .. for not hitting someone.”

“You’re supposed to have a high IQ, which I’m doubting right now because of the way you act,” Gorcyca said.

“You’re very defiant. You have no manners 
 There is no reason why you do not have a relationship with your father . . .

Wow. Did she just call the boy stupid? And is her claim that the children are guilty of civil contempt even true? Let’s say the mother is a horrible person who brainwashed her children, how is that the children’s fault? Why punish them for the adult’s behavior?

It gets worse:

Tsimhoni’s two other children had a hearing later in the day, during which the 10-year-old boy did speak briefly to his father.

“Judge, I’m sorry for my behavior, and dad, I’m sorry for my behavior,” he said.

“Dad, the judge wanted me to talk to you so here is something about myself ? I enjoy soccer and I hope to be on the soccer team.”

A girl, 9, was asked if she would also like to apologize to her father, but she had no audible response.

“I know you’re kind of religious,” Gorcyca told the girl.

“God gave you a brain. He expects you to use it. You are not your big, defiant brother who’s living in jail. Do you want to live in jail?”

The girl said she would try to work with her father during visits, and Gorcyca told the children to go to lunch with their father.

“Let’s see, you’re going to be a teenager,” Gorcyca told the girl.

“You want to have your birthdays in Children’s Village? Do you like going to the bathroom in front of people? Is your bed soft and comfortable at home? I’ll tell you this, if you two don’t have a nice lunch with your dad and make this up to your dad, you’re going to come back here (after lunch) and I’m going to have the deputies take you to Children’s Village.”

The other brother and sister said they didn’t want to have lunch with their father, either, so Gorcyca sent them to juvenile detention, too. She then forbade the boy from contacting their brother while they’re there. She also ordered that they have minimal contact with one another. And they’ve apparently been there ever since.

WTactualF? Not only did this fruit-loop judge send them juvenile detention, but she isolated them from each other. I hope they have an excellent lawyer and sue, sue, sue!

I don’t want to get into which parent is telling the truth. It. Really. Doesn’t. Matter. If you think it does then you, like the parents, aren’t thinking about the children. Let’s just say neither of them is like the “real mother” in King Solomon‘s story. Both seem willing to cut the baby in half.

Meanwhile, there’s a batsh*t crazy judge in Michigan who needs to lose her job.

 

BREAKING: Gay Marriage Is Legal!

This is wonderful!

WASHINGTON (AP) — The Supreme Court has declared that same-sex couples have a right to marry anywhere in the United States.

Gay and lesbian couples already can marry in 36 states and the District of Columbia. The court’s ruling on Friday means the remaining 14 states, in the South and Midwest, will have to stop enforcing their bans on same-sex marriage.

 

My Thoughts On Beau Biden… And What Really Matters

I wasn’t going to write about this, but, today, Al Mascitti made me cry. He was so choked up as he spoke about Beau and his family. So many memories came flooding back. Painful memories, but memories I wouldn’t give up for the world. I’m also publishing this today due to the comments on the other thread. We’ve obviously “gone there” so let me add my insight.

It’s no secret I was in the “medical privacy” camp, but I sorta stayed out of those debates because I could (sorta) see the other side. It was a different conversation because, imo, it removed the humanity of the obvious situation, and while I didn’t understand that side (and I’m not really here to debate that, altho that will probably happen given the comments on the “memorial” thread) my lack of understanding probably had a lot to do with how many times I’ve been up close and personal to this type of situation.

Dying trumps everything. There are no politics, no career moves, no family squabbles, no test scores – These. Things. Do. Not. Matter. At. All. If they matter to you, then that is your luxury.

Here’s the truth: There are no rules, no shoulds, no have tos, in regards to a terminal illness. Just like there are no rules to grief. Death is a solitary experience. No one can tell you how to handle this. There isn’t a “correct” way of doing this. The dying person gets to set the rules.

I’ve written about my experience with my best friend in 2011. Allow me to pull a passage from this post.

When a person faces a terminal illness their perspective changes.  Instead of focusing on being “cured” – which they accept isn’t an option – they focus on how much time they can buy.  As a 47 year old, divorced mother of two teenage boys my friend was obsessed with buying time.  I completely understood.

Time Mattered.

And yet, time was the one thing not discussed.  Not by her, or me, or her doctor.  It was the elephant in the room.  All of us knew time was running out.  None of us discussed it.  Sometimes saying things out loud makes them more real
 too real?

Announcing you are dying is not a simple or easy thing to do – and you get to decide who you share it with and when. If you think it is easy then you have probably not experienced death up close – especially the death of a young person with children. Saying this truth out loud is nearly impossible. It changes everything. It is admitting defeat. Every day is precious. Every day is a fight and a gift. Every day might be your last.

And telling your children, or having them have to face this reality through the constant chatter of talking heads (“Joe Biden went to Delaware. Is he visiting his dying son?”) or newspaper articles, is the hardest thing you will ever experience. Dying people don’t care about “your” concerns or issues – nor should they, because in the big scheme of things any concerns other than their children, spouse and family are things they have moved beyond. Your and our concerns are petty. Politics is a silly issue they have moved beyond. (and I love politics, but it goes out the window in this situation.)

And the one thing that really matters is control. Control over how you die – over how you live your last days or months or years. And once everyone “knows” (or your illness progresses) you lose control. You become your disease. So, I can completely understand why Beau Biden held onto control as long as possible. That was his right. And in the end, it was his only right and the only thing he could control. He didn’t “owe” anybody anything. Sorry, but he didn’t.

Ugh. I’m rereading this and I know I sound preachy. I don’t mean to. It’s just when his illness first came to light and his public appearances diminished… I knew. I just knew. I had traveled this path before. It was so heartbreakingly familiar. Talk of politics in regards to his situation made me queasy. It just didn’t matter. There were more important things on the table. And no one – no one – gets to prioritize that for him.

I am not saying questions about politics didn’t matter (Okay, I sorta am). What I’m saying, as someone who has experienced impending deaths of loved ones, is that all this stuff simply doesn’t matter to those facing their own deaths. And the real reason it didn’t matter was because that issue would tragically resolve itself on its own – as it did. I knew that – and dreaded it.  Those facing this prognosis know that. The only people a dying person should be concerned about is themselves and their loved ones. Everyone else, and what they think they should know, doesn’t matter. No one has a right to trump a dying person’s wishes on how they leave this world.

Yes, this is deeply personal to me. Call me out all you want, you won’t sway me. I have lived this too many times. And… when it comes to the political landscape and what would happen, anyone who claims they didn’t really know are probably too stupid (too harsh? probably.) to hold office, or else they should thank whatever god they pray to that this situation has never touched their life. Because that’s really the only reason for not understanding what was really going on. Sorry, but it is.

Rest in peace, Beau. You didn’t owe anyone but your family a damned thing.

Murder, Manslaughter, and Assault charges Filed Against Officers In Baltimore

This seems like a big deal. Via TPM:

Baltimore State’s Attorney Marilyn J. Mosby announced on Friday that she had filed murder, manslaughter, and assault charges against city police officers following the death of 25-year-old Freddie Gray.

[…]

“The manner of death deemed a homicide by the Maryland state medical examiner is believed to be the result of a fatal injury that occurred while Mr. Gray was punrestrained by a seat belt in the custody of the Baltimore police department wagon,” Mosby said at a morning news conference.

 

Anti-Gay Supreme Court Argument Claims Marriage Is Only About Children

I’m actually surprised they took this path.

He was followed by the lawyer defending the same-sex marriage bans, John J. Bursch, who said they were for the benefit of children and not couples seeking companionship and mutual support.

“The state doesn’t have an interest in love and emotion at all,” Mr. Bursch said. “It’s about binding children to their biological moms and dads.”

Several justices were intensely skeptical of that rationale, noting that many gay couples have children. These justices also seemed unpersuaded by Mr. Bursch’s contention that altering the definition of marriage would harm the institution.

“All of the incentives, all of the benefits that marriage affords, would still be available,” Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg told him. “So you’re not taking away anything from heterosexual couples. They would have the very same incentive to marry, all the benefits that come with marriage that they do now.”

Justice Sonia Sotomayor made a similar point. “How does withholding marriage from one group — same-sex couples — increase the value to the other group?” she asked.

If the purpose of marriage is procreation, Justice Ginsburg asked, why are two 70-year-olds allowed to marry? Mr. Bursch said the male member of the couple was “still capable of having children, and you’d like to keep that within the marriage.”

Mr. Bursch said the institution of marriage was under siege, and that births out of wedlock had grown rapidly since 1970. Justice Sotomayor said the change was not because of “the recent gay marriages,” a point Mr. Bursch acknowledged.

Justice Kennedy jumped on the concession. “You’re the one that brought the statistic up,” he told Mr. Bursch. “And under your view, it would be very difficult for same-sex couples to adopt some of these children. I think the argument cuts quite against you.”

Justice Elena Kagan said allowing same-sex marriage would benefit children. “More adopted children and more marital households, whether same-sex or other-sex, seems to be a good thing,” she said. Mr. Bursch said the bans he was defending did not discriminate based on sexual orientation, which left Justice Kagan puzzled. “If you prevent people from wearing yarmulkes,” she said, “you know, that’s discrimination against Jews.”

This has to be the weakest argument they could choose. It’s so limiting. It also leads to this argument: If marriage is about “binding children to their biological moms and dads” then should people who do not want children, or cannot have children even be allowed to marry?  If this argument is accepted then wouldn’t that redefine marriage, far more than gay marriage?  It also merges quite nicely with the Republican’s forced birth-anti birth control platform.

Not kidding. Will applying for a marriage license under this definition require signing a document stating you will do everything in your power to have children?  Hey, if that’s the new definition of marriage!

This is a horribly weak argument, but I guess their true argument of “my god says so” wouldn’t fly so they were left with an argument that actually could deny marriage to a lot more people – People who don’t want children, sterile men and women, menopausal women.

This argument against gay marriage is not only baffling, it also redefines marriage far more than conservatives claim gay marriage does.

 

Petition To Allow Parents To Opt Out Of Testing

As usual, please sign. Here’s the petition’s wording.

Pass House Bill 50 to Allow Parent Opt Out

The Smarter Balanced Assessment is the new state assessment based on the Common Core State Standards for Delaware.  Many states have adopted this assessment as part of the Smarter Balanced Assessment Consortium, of which Delaware is a part.  This consortium was approved by Governor Markell without any legislative approval.

Many parents in Delaware, as well as across the country, believe the Smarter Balanced Assessment, as well as the PARCC test in other states, is not an effective standardized test.  Therefore, we are electing our Constitutional right to opt our children out of this assessment.  We believe it is a parental right to choose the best educational outcome for our children.  We also believe our children are not the property of the state.  Many of us have experienced, at a minimum, vast confusion in regards to the opt out time period, which began in earnest in February of 2015, from our Governor, our Delaware Department of Education, our schools, and several administrators from our schools.

This legislation would help codify what is already our right, and would prevent the opted out students from adversely affecting the schools in Delaware.  As well, this would also put all the school districts and charter schools in the state on the same level playing field based on a clear and distinct law.

The results of this assessment won’t even arrive until later in the summer, yet it will be used to eventually judge our teachers and schools.  As per the Delaware Department of Education, a framework for the schools won’t even be available until January of 2016.  As per House Bill 334, passed by the 147th General Assembly and signed by Governor Markell on July 1st, 2014, the state assessment shall: “be designed and operated to provide the General Assembly, the Governor, the Secretary, the State Board of Education, educational administrators, teachers, parents and the public with timely and accurate information on student achievement and educational attainments.”  We do not believe the “timely and accurate information” applies to the Smarter Balanced Assessment, so we have chosen to opt out or support those who opt out of the state assessment.

We are requesting the members of the House Education Committee in the Delaware House of Representatives follow the will of their constituents and pass House Bill 50.

HB 50 will be heard by the House Education Committee on Wednesday, April 22nd, at 3:30 pm, in Legislative Hall, Dover, DE so let’s get signing! Please forward this petition to your family and friends.