Joe Biden’s handlers don’t fill me with confidence, but they’ve apparently hit upon the bright idea of having him act presidential by throwing a little red meat to Democrats. After years of resisting the obvious, he’s decided to back Supreme Court reform and will announce it with lots of fanfare. GOP apoplexy to follow.

The notion that organized labor is progressive rather than self-interested took a giant hit when Teamsters president Sean O’Brien spoke at the RNC convention and praised Trump.

Country singer Ingrid Andress had an excuse for mangling the nation anthem before the Home Run duerby: She was drunk, she says, and is entering rehab. Which means that Fergie still holds the record for worst sober rendition.

The floor’s yours.

Political party conventions used to deserve media attention. Reporters covered them because the party’s nominee wasn’t pre-ordained. That changed when primaries replaced caucuses and smoke-filled rooms. With the nominee already decided, conventions became PR events, but they still get flood-the-zone coverage, just like the Super Bowl. And just like all the words wasted in the run-up to that game, none of it is worth your time.

Trump’s choice of fake hillbilly J.D. Vance as his running mate displeased some MAGAts because there was a time when Vance didn’t kiss Trump’s ass. I guess that makes him a moderate by GOP standards.

Nebraska has joined a growing list of states where Pornhub has gone dark over laws aimed at protecting minors from its evils. One look at the incel-riddled GOP would tell you that even if you agree with the premise, it’s too little too late.

Connoisseurs of terrible renditions of the national anthem got a thrill last night at major league baseball’s Home Run Derby. Country singer Ingrid Andress made the always-dicey decision to try it a cappella, and the result drew comparisons to the current title-holder, Fergie’s 2018 performance at the NBA all-star game. She was about halfway through when I decided autotune is a gift to humankind.

The floor’s yours.

And just like that, the media’s obsession with giving voice to Democrats quivering with fear over Joe Biden’s feebleness is yesterday’s news. Well, almost. Axios quoted a “senior House Democrat” saying, “We’ve all resigned ourselves to a second Trump presidency.” Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez had the right response on Twitter. “If you’re a ‘senior Democrat’ that feels this way, you should absolutely retire and make space for true leadership that refuses to resign themselves to fascism. This kind of leadership is functionally useless to the American people. Retire.” “Functionally useless” is a pretty good description of the Democratic Party, actually.

Luckily for Democrats, all they have to do to be competitive is be more competent than Republicans, which isn’t a very heavy lift. Consider Texas, home to more dumbfuckery than all the Democratic-controlled states combined. A week ago Hurricane Beryl knocked out power to millions in the Houston area, and more than 100,000 are still without power. Gov. Greg Abbott, who was swanning around the Far East when it hit, talked tough about holding the electric company responsible, which deserves a hearty laugh in a state that allowed a space rocket launching pad in a nature preserve.

One downside to the assassination attempt: Pundits with spasming sphincters now have even more reason to stock up on Depends. Here’s a representative example by a guy who thinks it “puts the republic in peril.” Why, because MAGAts will throw an extra conniption?

Let’s see if they have any conniptions left over after they gather in Milwaukee for the Republican National Convention starting tonight. The main point of interest will be whether any of these brain-dead whiners will tone down the violent rhetoric after their Dear Leader was wounded. Let’s check the Magic 8 Ball. Oops. “Outlook not so good.”

The floor’s yours.

Joe Biden gave what even Politico conceded was a forceful speech to open the NATO conference.

The president didn’t fumble over words as he often does during remarks. He was clear and forceful, appearing energized by the transatlanticism that he has embraced throughout his political career.

For most of the political press, this was Not News, and was buried beneath several stories toting up who’s for Biden and against him, a head count that allows reporters to do what they do best: Ask for comment, then commit stenography.

Maybe the media has been too busy trying to drum Biden from the race to notice that the release of grand jury testimony in the 2006 Jeffrey Epstein case includes lots of mentions of Trump, including some explosive allegations about him engaging in sex with underage girls. The mainstream media has given it no coverage at all, which Rep. Ted Lieu finds curious. But look at it from an editor’s standpoint: Sure, the prurient interest quotient is high, but the ick factor is higher. The mental images are disgusting enough when it’s Stormy Daniels; this goes off the charts.

The media for the most part also has failed to inform the public about Project 25, the Heritage Foundation’s blueprint for a fascist takeover of the country. That might change if, whenever any Democratic officeholder was asked about Biden, they responded with scary yet accurate warnings about what it explicitly states. The proof that it needs airing: Trump is pretending to know nothing about it, though it’s full of the same extremist crap he’s always spouting.

Everyone knows the Supreme Court’s decision to grant the president king-like immunity was an abomination, but few have explained why as clearly and succinctly as Radley Balko does in this essay, which exposes all the history John Roberts got wrong in his sophistry. If you’re a Republican, why stop at creating a fantasy present-day when you can also make up a fantasy past and a fantasy future?

The floor’s yours.

Democrats, faced with adversity, are doing what they do best: Panicking and looking weak. A group of about two dozen House Democrats are planning to call on Biden to drop out. Yes, when danger rears its ugly head, they bravely turned their tails and fled. Extra bonus irony: A lot of these people are the same ones who think Democrats should be more like Republicans. Quick, how many GOP House members are slagging Trump for his sloppy debate performance?

This article does a good job of summing up the reasons Biden should drop out. They’re really no more compelling than they ever were, but they’re fair points. But it bears repeating: The people slagging the Democratic candidate, selected by Democratic voters, are Democrats. Now do you see why reporters insist they’re always in disarray? Besides, while that writer hand-waves the fact, none polls any better than Biden. But you know what the takeaway is for people who ignore politics? Even the Democrats don’t like their candidate, and, faced with adversity, Democrats panic. It’s not a look that inspires confidence in Democrats among voters.

I have no takeaway from the debates that changes my opinion of them, which is summed up nicely by this former editor of the Philadelphia Inquirer’s editorial pages: They have nothing to do with the job they’re applying for. If you’re looking for reasons politics has turned into empty theater, look no further.

Over in France, centrists and leftists are cooperating to fight the Marine Le Pen’s far-right National Rally. Several hundred candidates who finished third in the first round of voting have agreed to drop out so as not to split the anti-fascist vote. Take note, Collin O’Mara.

The floor’s yours.

All you people who were freaking out over Joe Biden’s stumblebum debate performance now have something bigger to freak out about, as the nation’s corrupt Supreme Court just made Richard Nixon’s claim – “If the president does it, it’s not illegal” – the law of the land.

I’ve scoured what we used to call the wires, and there’s nothing else breaking through. Barring natural catastrophe or a deadlier-than-usual mass shooting, it appears that’s the only news media is going to be talking about for some time.

The floor’s yours.

Joe Biden’s terrible debate performance set off several days of Democratic soul searching, but sadly, the search has been fruitless. They still haven’t found one.

Frankly, the widespread panic embodies why right-wingers hold us in contempt – we run around flapping our hands at every setback. We like to mock them for listening to Fox News, but we’re just as mockable for being led by the nose by mainstream media, which is awash in a sea of calls for Biden to step aside. The New York Times led the charge with an an ugly, needlessly personal editorial that smacks of butt-hurt because he wouldn’t grant them an exclusive interview.

This piece encourages Biden to follow the example of Harry Truman and LBJ who, the author contends, knew when to quit. The author hand-waves away the fact that in each case the decision led directly to eight years of Republican rule. History doesn’t lie: When an eligible incumbent president doesn’t run, his party loses.

If you’re looking for silver linings, viewership for the debate was way down, off 35% from the first debate in 2020, a 20-year low. But that’s OK – Democratic caterwauling ensures that everyone who didn’t watch will get the impression that Biden is all but embalmed.

While our journalistic class sucks its thumb and wonders by the banks of its own lagoon, pregnant women in red states are dying because doctors and hospitals are refusing to treat pregnant women having health crises for fear of criminal prosecution. That’s what Democrats should be talking about instead of fretting about Biden’s declining intellectual capabilities.

I don’t pretend to understand French politics, but on the surface it looks like their centrists are as over-confident as our centrists. Macron’s call for snap elections backfired in the first round of voting. The far-right National Rally party stands poised to take over the government, though it fell short of an outright majority. Oh well, there goes the neighborhood.

The floor’s yours.

One of the news media’s longest-running crime dramas came to an underwhelming finish yesterday when the U.S. government reached a plea deal with Wikileaks founder Julian Assange that will allow him to go free after 13 years living in embassies and prisons. This started back when it was big news that the U.S. committed war crimes in Iraq. I don’t think that surprises anyone anymore.

The judge in Trump’s New York hush money trial partially lifted Trump’s gag order, allowing him to attack the jurors who convicted him without fear of incurring more slaps on his wrists. Everyone expects this will unleash his zombie minions to exact revenge, mostly by tweeting out misspelled death threats.

The Beetlejuice Groper, Lauren Boebert, won her crowded primary in the Colorado district she carpet-bagged into, allowing her to star in another season of “Catfighting Congresswomen of Washington” opposite Sextuple B – Bleach Blonde Bad Built Butch Body Marjorie Taylor Greene.

If there’s a difference between reporting on sports and politics, it’s too slight to be discernible. News feeds are overflowing with stories about THE BIG DEBATE! just as they are before THE BIG GAME! Give Trump credit for realizing these exercises have more in common with professional wrestling or the Miss America pageant, two media extravaganzas he wormed his way into back in the day, than the Lincoln-Douglas debates. His disdain for the hollow pomp of politics is the cornerstone of his support.

The floor’s yours.