Dear Chris,

Filed in National by on June 7, 2007

Your dogged determination to get our attention is paying off. I’ve gone from think you were crazy to think you were a liberal trying to punk us with your off the wall Limbaugh-isms to now thinking that you are a bit lost in the world and seeking some sort of direction.

Your plight has touched my liberal heart and since you are determined to be a pupil, I will be your master. You may consider this the first of many lessons.

1) Iraq

Have you ever seen the movie Red Dawn? Of course you have. You own a copy. Anyway, I want you to watch it again and this time don’t just watch it for Jennifer Grey and Patrick Swayze (watch Dirty Dancing for that). Watch it as an allegory in which the Russians represent US in Iraq. The Cubans represent the Brits in Iraq and the Wolverines represent the Iraqi insurgents.

I know that your first reaction to this request is to sputter “But the Wolverines never never attacked the World Trade Center.” And you will be right to have that reaction, because neither did the Iraqis.

Now please listen up because this is important. When you watch Red Dawn again consider the fact that the wolverines have everything to fight for. Their land, thier way of life, revenge, the Wolverines have nothing but motivation. They don’t have much, but they have that burning hatred for the invader and they have the ability to live off the land. They don’t have much war fighting material but they improvise and they are smart enough to avoid taking on the Russians in a pitched battles.

Also consider the fact that the Russians and Cubans have little to fight for. Sure, they have the lies fed to them by thier corrupt commie leadership and they have a sense of duty – but for the most part they are just going through the motions. [Pay close attention to the scene in which the Cuban officer writes a letter home.]

Do this and report back to me. The path of salvation is long and as difficult to treas as the razor’s edge, but at this point I really think that you have the stick-to-it-ive-ness to get it done.

About the Author ()

Jason330 is a deep cover double agent working for the GOP. Don't tell anybody.

Comments (1)

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  1. Chris says:

    I suppose since you assume all conservatives to be dumb, you expect that this lame tactic will leave me dumb and speechless and I will go away.

    It is so painfully obvious I should be insulted, but I know that you are so far into your misinformation that you probably actually do believe it will work.

    For the uneducated among you, the tactic is known and “discrediting”. It is a tactic you are all quite familiar with since you have been doing it to the United States for nearly four years (and I suspect for quite some time before that).

    It is actually quite heartening. The lame attempt combined with the vitriol that has been here of late, and Jason’s cute naive attempt to “reeducate” me can mean only one thing. My ideas are beginning to resonate with you, and you are beginning to see that your hard-held beliefs, may, just in fact, be illogical. I don’t hold out much hope of complete recovery for any of you, but if I can get you to admit to have a problem (liberalism) then we can at least start on the road to recovery.