Dear Jesus, Please make your followers smarter.

Filed in National by on October 23, 2007

And to my fellow disciples of Christ – can we just try to stop making such a fool out of Jesus in public?

We aren’t bringing any glory to our Lord when we lie about stupid shit that is really easy to check. Let’s just keep to the basics, shall we?

“‘Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth….etc…

The founding fathers were not “born again.”
America was not founded as a “christian country.”
America does not have a special place in God’s heart.

If you think any of those things, you don’t know anyhting about Christianity or American history.

About the Author ()

Jason330 is a deep cover double agent working for the GOP. Don't tell anybody.

Comments (5)

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  1. Von Cracker says:

    Exceptionalism at its worst.

    The religious-rethugs idea of kick-ass, warrior Jeebus reminds me of lyrics to Camper Van Beethoven song:

    Yeah might makes right
    Yeah might makes right
    They say that god is on our side and made us mighty
    Yeah might makes right
    Yeah might makes right
    They say that god is on our side I don’t believe them

    I’m crawling through the under brush, we’re teched up to the hilt
    Compared to us these poor guys should be wearing shorts and kilts
    I’ve got a living breathing shadow crossed up in my scope
    My partner gives the signal, pull the trigger, then there’s smoke

    Might makes right
    Yeah might makes right
    They say that god is on our side and makes us mighty
    Yeah might makes right
    Yeah might makes right
    They say that god is on our side I don’t believe them

    Might makes right
    Yeah might makes right
    I guess that god is on our side and makes us mighty
    Yeah might makes right
    Yeah might makes right
    They say that god is on our side I don’t believe them

    They want us from the villages, they want us from the towns
    Who could really blame them, shit blows up when we’re around
    We fly above their houses with our Huey double-props
    We scare the crap out of their kids, their mothers and their frocks

    Might makes right
    Yeah might makes right
    I guess ’cause god is on our side it makes us mighty
    Yeah might makes right
    Yeah might makes right
    They say that god is on our side I don’t believe them

  2. Von Cracker says:

    And a video, for her pleasure…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yQi1y81jBo

  3. Dorian Gray says:

    Since we’re on lyrics, how about Kinston native and part-time Wilmington resident Bob Marley. This is one of my favs…

    Most people think,
    Great God will come from the skies,
    Take away everything
    And make everybody feel high.
    But if you know what life is worth,
    You will look for yours on earth:
    And now you see the light,
    You stand up for your rights.

    Religion – Clouding judgment since the beginning of time.

  4. Von Cracker says:

    Ja Man!

    Pass the dutchie to the left-hand side….

    …cause the right will put it out, Buzzkillers!

  5. donviti says:

    please the right smokes more than the left, they just don’t admit it in public like the lefties doo…..bie