Why I’m Delaware’s Hottest Blogger…
UPDATE: Here my soft voice here…. Listen, this isn’t about me anymore. It’s about you, delaware and all the women that have come to know me as “Delaware’s Hottest Blogger” It’s not some title you can just pass from one person to the next. It is a part of me. I am not referenced as Mr. donviti when people are introduced to me….am I? NO! It is ohhh and have you met Delaware’s Hottest Blogger? See, it just flows.
Now when you have to go introducing my friend, who after this shall be no more, as Delaware’s Hottest Blogger, heads will cock to the side like a dog wondering where the fuck his dinner is. Then people would have to say….”Oh, he is liberalgeek” Then heads would nod up and down and confirm that NOW they know who he is.
But you see I’m more than 6 pack abs, above average size and a quick wit. We have all seen the Mrs. Hotviti and I don’t get candy like that because I know how to spell WindowsXP in my sleep. I’m an intellectual. I read more than just the comics, though I love Family Circle (see ladies, sensitive too) I broaden my horizons any chance I get. I try new things everyday. This year I tried a Kiwi for the first time ever and loved it. So succulent, sweet and tart at the same time, firm yet soft on the lips….mmmmm.
I’m a pet lover too, I have two dogs, basset hounds, Roscoe and Lulu. Tragedy befell them in Nola, when their african american owners where left stranded on a rooftop for months. I walked to Nola to retrieve them and save them. The owners, they didn’t make it, fighting for our country against the terrorists in Iraq. They were killed by a suicidal retarded woman that had bombs shoved up her ass. It was awful to be at the funeral, the family clutching at Roscoe and Lulu not letting them go. It was the only link they had to their family that had just perished from an awful disease that could have been cured by stem cell research.
You see, I make the hard choices. I sacrifice for no one else but me. I sacrifice to make myself look better. As the Hottest Blogger it only helps you that I am so great a person.
I served my country too, but that isn’t what makes great. But I won’t talk about that the pain is too great from all the carnage I have seen. I have let it build in me and fester. I have dug a hole in my soul and buried deep in there. I am like an old Clint Eastwood, tough, gentile, silent. I’m so many things ladies…but I don’t want to talk about me.
I’m a listener really. God gave me two ears to listen to you. These hazel eyes look right at you and scream, “I hear you honey, It’s gonna be ok…donviti is here for you.” (as I put my hand on your arm and squeeze gently)
So my hotness has worked it’s way all the way to one of the finest radio stations in Delaware. WDEL has done a piece on me and the wine tasting club I have started up. The Brandywine Tasting Group. You see, not only am I good looking but, I’m sophisticated. I know a thing or two about how to get a woman drunk on more than just bud light.
In your face! I know what men and women want in Delaware. I’m in touch with people. Maybe I don’t know how to roll a die on a computer and move my sorcerer to the land of time, but things like that add to my hotness!
Hmmm… I’m sensing a “Hotness” contest coming on.
Does anyone remember National Lampoon’s “Wife Tasting Club”?
Donihoni….you can’t say enough good things about yourself and I admire you for that. But I take issue when you compare Clint Eastwood to yourself….no contest you ARE be the absolute hottest !! (Spoken like when Maury says: “You ARE the father of 9 month old…..”).
Note to Pandora:
No costest needed it’s already been decided. You can’t be a Donvitie Groupie unless you are convinced he is, hands down, The Hottest.
i love you…(picture being whispered into you ear, lights out, my lips brush softly against you…)
But just imagine a contest… a catwalk, spotlights, raunchy music
I’d pay admission and bring stacks of dollar bills!
I’m not an object…I have feelings
I’m 110% hetero – so I don’t make a practice of saying which dude is the hottest, but if I were a chick I’d say Donviti, and by saying that it does not mean I’m gay because I’m not and by the way everyone knows that that guy from Key West is a big liar, so fuck him. (euphamistically speaking…I mean.)
Ah… but DV, you objectified yourself with this post. Please, don’t blame a girl for taking advantage.
I guess I will lay back and take it
…spell WindowsXP in my sleep?
I am much more of a Linux geek and a networking guru. Don’t you know, being able to fix a broken Internet connection or eliminating spyware is the 21st century equivalent or stopping on the side of the road to help a lady with a flat tire?
“You know… I have another machine in the bedroom that you may be able to help me with…”
I could go on, but my hotness precludes me from beating dead horses, especially when they are ridden by poor, hapless former male pinups.
Ah… LG has a point. Women love to ‘link’ up with a guy who knows what buttons to push!
virtual love can’t replace anything I have to offer!
1 out of 2 women you have been married to agree…
By the way, I love that Steve Newton is now in 3rd.
ha! 13 and 14 are both funny.
if not for my handshake more women would have voted for me!
LOL! That made me laugh.
I have figured out why your stock has gone down…
Ah… LG has a point. Women love to ‘link’ up with a guy who knows what buttons to push!
Except DV himself admits that his handshake doesn’t, you know, communicate any button pushing skillz.
I’m so confused, that’s why I insist on an up-close and personal Hot-Off. The next drinking liberally, perhaps?
Hotter than Sagacious Steve, the blogger that ‘every strong woman wants and every weak woman needs’?
I think not.
Wow — this is going to be some Hot-Off, Pandora.
And here is something else that made me spit coffee all over my keyboard:
I am like an old Clint Eastwood, tough, gentile, silent.
Gentile?
GENTILE?
Keep this up DV and we will need to make a Donviti-isms calendar.
Steve, you’re in!
Any other challengers to the “World’s Hottest Blogger” title? Come on, boys. Don’t let DV’s brawn, LG’s brain, and Steve’s wit intimidate you.
Us ladies promise to be fair and… gentle!
WTF!?
look, There wasn’t a contest to see who was the God Father of Soul! the King of Pop! The King of Rock!
I knew James Brown and you, sir, are no James Brown… Not enough gun brandishing.
🙂
Just think of the money we could make doing back-waxes.
Clint Eastwood is Jewish??
LOL! Oh yeah, Steve. You are a clever boy!
LG:
from mrs. hotviti:
LG- LOL on #13
good thing his ex was his 1 vote!!!
Mrs. Hotviti – I assume that means that I can count on your vote?
LG- of course
but it’ll be our little secret
this contest is all about superdelegates by the way. And Jason has voted for me already…
so hah!
But Pandora, Cassandra M and LiberalGeek have not (presuming that those named are all Superdelegates certainly subject the The Management’s approval.)
This will not end without a Hot-Off. Oh, and due to Mrs. Hotviti unbiased opinion, she’s one of the judges! Also, due to super delegate status… so am I and Cassandra!
In the words of DV: WhooooHooooo!!
AND… because Jason’s so modest, I’m nominating him for his passion. Cassandra, will you second my motion?
I’m standin’ by my man!
You ladies want a contest? Have one for second and third place ’cause the gold medal has already been taken…….
THAT JUST HAPPENED!
What do you do when you are responsible for the deaths of thousands of innocent Iraqi children?
You start a wine tasting club!!
Again, every time I think you couldn’t be any more hypocritical…WHAM! You prove me wrong.
You claim you, and the people of Delaware, are responsible for the murders of thousands of kids, and how do you show your remorse? How do you attempt to make things better? You start a friggin wine tasting club! Unreal! I am sure the families of the thousands of people you helped murder feel much better knowing that Jason now understands the difference between chiraz and sirah.
Once again, either you lied and don’t think we are responsible for the deaths of thousands of Iraqis or you are a soulless murderer. So which is it?
What a buzz kill.
I don’t really have a stake in the war, so I say who gives a shit and drink.
Good looking people don’t care about wars. they act like they do!
wooohoooooo.
hey pandora i’m not sure how unbiased i can be i still do have to live w/ him….. but if my vote is anonymous i’m in!
LG you get it (wink wink)
a. bundy….you have to relax man you’re going to have a heart attack carrying around all that hostility and resentment of dv & lg”s hotness
Maybe us girls can just caucus over drinks?
I am seconding Pandora’s motion and I’m up for a Drinks Caucus!
A Bundy is just jealous he is not in the running for Delaware’s Hottest Blogger.
And won’t be in a few lifetimes.
heh heh…..cauc….heh heh
Prosecco anyone? Oops, sorry Mrs. Hotviti! I remember those days… but maybe you could steal a few sips!
From the temper of his post
it sounds like A. Bundy is related to Ted….same sorta mind set. Just sayin’……….