Republican Problem-Solving Handbook
(Image courtesy of Crooks and Liars)
So who needs Political Consultants? The funny blog, The Aristocrats, has provided the exhaustive list of strategies republicans use to respond to issues, crises and just plain uncomfortable moments.
Some of these items are not exactly family-oriented, but here’s a few exerpts:
create intricate web of lies about it
blindly support nutjob president
add three levels of corruption to it
use it to help with Constitution shredding
deregulate the piss outta it
capitalize it collateralize it securitize it and sell it to the world
it’s rapturific
Go read it and get your Pundit Hat on. And add more to the comments below. It’s the definitive roadmap to the repubs convention.
Tags: Republican Crazy, Republicans
Blame the Dixie Chicks for it.
Blame Daschle Dems.
Look, it’s good for Israel.
Say “No nation building!” then build nation, poorly.
Hire lawyers from Regents University to litigate it.
make hit list for people not loyal enough and fire them.
Count every vote (in the right districts).
Buy duct tape.
Blackwater can fix anything!
Build a soccer field.
Collect weapons from civilians, then blast opposition as gun-haters.
Use your own math.
one word – Supplementals!
Put up inspiration posters in war-torn areas.
Abstinence-only.
push-poll the hell out of it.
I liked these
try gay sex with strangers again
make cool naked prisoner pyramid for fun
The perfect post to end the night!
The Liberal Method For Dealing With a Scandal or Unpleasant Facts
1. Look incredulous
2. Deny everything
3. Make counter accusations
4. If all else fails, claim victim status.
Sorry Mike — you have not been paying attention. Your list is Appendix A for the Republican Handbook: Real Life Examples Using Mark Foley and Larry Craig
touche’ and well-played, ma’am.