What Republicans Have To Do To Get Back On My Good Side
It is simple really. Just fucking apologize. Apologize for everything. Not simply the war, but for 8 years of pretending that Bush wasn’t the stupidest fuck to ever eat lunch at the White House. And no half-assed, “I was never really into the Bush,” bullshit. Say something like, “knowing what we know now, Al Gore and John Kerry both would have been better Presidents than Bush” and riff on from there.
Mike Castle apologized to me. Apology accepted Mike. Your Bush era sins have been fully atoned for. If I give you hell from here on out it is for stuff that you fucked up on after Obama took over.
(More profanity after the jump.)
I don’t need an elaborate apology, like my man the Rude Pundit – just a sincere one. Be like Mike you Republicans. Be Americans first and Republicans second for a change. It will set you free.
Now, to get back in the RudePundit’s good graces you need to be a bit more uhhmmm… demonstrative in your apology.
Here’s the Rude Pundit’s deal: we’ll be bipartisan if you apologize. Not just an eye-rolling “We’re sorry.” Not good enough. We each need to come up with a way for Republicans to apologize. For the Rude Pundit, it’s simple. Blow jobs. He wants to get blow jobs from Republicans. Every time he meets a Republican, he wants to just point at his cock and have them nod, get on their knees. And blow him. He walks into Mitch McConnell’s office, he wants an immediate appointment for him to suck it. If he heads over to the Republican Party Headquarters, he wants to leave there raw. He goes into the Fox News bureau, he wants Greta Van Susternen on him like a Hoover on deep pile. That’s how you’ll apologize. He doesn’t know what everyone else wants. There might be a whole lot of sucking and licking going on. And would that be a bad thing after eight years of getting raped?
Tags: Obama
I just want them to be normal Republicans who vote against social spending and lose and vote against tax increases for the rich and lose and vote No on minimum wage increases and lose.
Is that so much to ask?
Mike Castle apologized to me.
Ah-hem, like in the Rude Pundit’s way?
Details?
That’s between me and Mike.
So, did the tickets to the inaugural help?
I call bullshit. Did Castle really apologize to you? Or is this just another one of your brilliant mindfucks?
I call bullshit to Jason. WTF does it mean he apologized to you? Does that mean all the sins of Castle are wiped away. The guy is a neo con fascist who has voted against Delawareans for decades. Nice to see what a “liberal” really means. This is the most stupid comment I have read from you Jason…buck up. Castle will be looking you up when he runs again, so you can pretend to be supporting a dem but actually supporting a repub on the “down low”. please
Jason,
As Carl Sagen used to say, “extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.”
I’d say this is a pretty extraordinary claim. Not quite the claim of seeing a UFO, but close.
Why would anyone want to be on your good side?
Dear Dumb Fuck Asswipe,
I’m sure you are too thick to have figured this out, but I’ve written you off.
I was speaking to non-dumb fuck asswipe Republicans.
Tommy got it Mike. We were in his Wilmington office, words were exchanged. It was sincere.
Castle knows full well that Bush sucked. Unlike some other dumb fuck asswipes around here – he manned up.
Wow…now THAT’S an exclusive, Jason! Why haven’t we had a post detailing this encounter?
Mike,
It is the kind of thing where things were open to interpretation. But I think we all know that there was a subtext.
I’ve made these comments on the radio on both Mascitti and Jensen’s show, so this is not exactly breaking news.
Well, I am the competition. I tend to listen to my own employer! How come you never called my show? Afraid only you and I would hear the news? LOL
Sorry Mike. I’m just now getting back into the habit of tuning in.
How about a DTR show on “Jason’s platforms for his run against Castle”?
He’s already got the campaign team fixed:
DV – Pubic Relations (no, that’s no a misspelling)
Nancy Willing – Refreshments
Hube – dude to blame shit on to CYA the candidate
Liberalgeek – advertising (inside joke)
Delaware Politics posters – brain trust to play Devil’s advocate for honing platform issues but still pamper candidate’s ego because they’ll lose every argument
“It is the kind of thing where things were open to interpretation. But I think we all know that there was a subtext. ”
So, it was an imaginary apology?
OK, Jason, here goes… I’m no Republican, but I’m sorry for ________ (fill in the blanks), and I should have never voted for ________. This is not a dream. Feel better? Good. Now, get the fuck over it.
NOTE: This apology and confession is open to interpretation.
Is this really Mike Matthews?
Matthews ‘tends’ to listen to Dave Burris because he is the boss?
Matthews calls out bullshit on a implausable post?
So.Wrong.
Is this really “anonone?”
Yes, I’m really Mike Matthews. Here’s why I originally called bullshit on Jason’s claim that Castle apologized:
For those who’ve followed this blog for (what seems like) more than the few months YOU HAVE (that is, if you’re anonone), you would know that Jason has mercilessly (and often rightfully) attacked Mike Castle for the better part of the last four years.
Now, there are some of us who had never been made privvy to the information in posts #10 and #12 because Jason didn’t post about it here. As he says, he talked about this on Jensen’s and Mascitti’s shows. I called bullshit, obviously, because I simply couldn’t believe (at that time, a mere two hours ago) that Castle would have apologized to Jason given the long and storied past here at DL.
Jason let me know what was up and now, obviously, I believe it’s totally not bullshit.
Got it?
Mis,
Apology not accepted on the grounds of insincerity.
Mike,
I’ll all and go over this on the air. I think Castle is a shithead for a having knuckled under so easily to Bush, but Biden and Carper caved as well.
For me it all comes down to who is going to be honest about the fact that Bush was a complete fucking disaster and who is continuing to live in Let’s Pretend land.
LOL,
Jason, you really don’t need to do that. Now that I know I feel comfortably “in the loop.”
Hey Mike,
“anone” was not me.
Sorry for the confusion.
Jason,
If Castle is is indeed “apologizing” then he owes every person in the state of Delaware a public apology. He shouldn’t be just trying to suck up to you and other liberal bloggers.
After 8 years of his worshipping Bush (he was Bush’s Delaware campaign head, after all), for you to accept anything less than a full public apology and mea culpa from him to all the people of Delaware is a travesty and betrayal. When it came to Bush, he was an up-and-down yes-nodding bobble head.
Was he serving Kool-aid to you in his office when he “apologized”?
I’m shattered. My apology was, at least, as sincere as Castle’s alleged apology. In the meantime, I’ll try to work on the sincerity thing.
WTF, I voted for Denn and Deaver. That, and the fact that I’m not a Republican, should make me an honorary Democrat.
PLEASE accept my apology.
“When it came to Bush, he was an up-and-down yes-nodding bobble head.”
That “bobble head” action would be an asset should Castle ever decide to apologize to ‘The Rude Pundit”.
I suppose that I’ll never get on Jason’s good side, then.
LOL, Miscreant.
Do you think Jason might have some stained blue jeans he’s keeping as evidence?
Dana is not as manly as Mike Castle. Christ Oh Mighty that’s saying something.
I have been holding onto a private conspiracy theory which has no basis at all in reality:
The Bush Admin had dirt on people to hold over their heads to get the votes needed.
I can’t explain the Bush anomaly any other way.
Going back to Jason’s #10 comment: We were in his Wilmington office…
Next time, give me a head’s up, you fat asswipe (oh, sorry, I forgot, you own that phrase…my bad), I mean, you bastard. I can very easily meet you for a cup of coffee (which I expect you to buy…someone has to take DV’s place in that process).
Oh, for the record, I ain’t apologizing fo’ shit that monkey face did. ‘Cuz I said he (and Dark Lord Cheney) were the worst freaking things to happen to us BEFORE they both won the presidency in 2000. Good freaking riddance to those bastards.
Brian Shields,
Apparently he was listening to everyone’s conversations, so why wouldn’t he? If not Bush, then Rove.
Smitty,
Did you vote for Bush? If so, I think the world is owed an apology from you. I think I can forgive 2000 (blah) but not 2004.
Smitty,
Be advised, it’s apparently important to to give the appearance of sincerity in your apology. Plead temporary (or permanent in your case) insanity, and don’t forget your knee pads.
Best of luck.
Mixcrant,
I think you want to apologize. I think that’s why you are fascinated with this thread.
You know Bush sucked super mega donkey dicks and you knew it while you went along bleeting like all the other Republican sheep. All the while there was a small part of you that said, “Jesus Christ this guy is one clueless mother fucker!”
But you knew that if you admitted it to yourself you might set into motion a psychic avalanche of self-doubt and that is pretty scary.
I’m here to tell you that it is okay. Lay down your burden.
No, I did not vote for monkey face and his handler. The only Bush I voted for in my life actually has a ‘C’ in its name, but that’s only because the choices that moment was Busch v Natural Lite.
Seriously, I did vote for his Dad in 1988 v Ducrapis, but I also was only 19 at the time, so we’ll call that a youthful transgression. Well…maybe. Ducrapis didn’t exactly make me excited for either person. Oh…I am going to be further isolated for this, but here goes…1988 was the ONLY time I have ever done the “R” thing for President.
I ain’t apologizing fo’ sheeeit!
Smitty,
You don’t look old enough to have voted in 1988.
Awesome. If neither of us were married, I would buy you a drink right now…at 9:13AM! Flattery ROCKS…especially at 39 YO. Given how many complimented my wife Sat night…at the absolute shock she was standing next to me…I think I may buy you a whole six-pack of Pabst! Sorry…I am still on a budget. 😀
Seriously though. Smitty’s wife is much too good looking for him. It is jarring.
I don’t mean that as a put down, or to flatter your wife – it is just a simple fact.
Of course. Thanks!
Have you found Rags yet? Not that I am saying anything…
I thought all of the DelLib contributors had hot wives.