Wrong Williams Channels Seinfeld-Writes Column About…Nothing

Filed in National by on April 15, 2009

El Somnambulo is suing Williams for the 2 minutes of his life he wants back after wasting it reading his quote column unquote this morning. 

‘Bulo will not provide a link b/c it will only encourage Williams to continue writing the thinnest gruel around, and he doesn’t wish to inspire further lawsuits or wastes of time, for that matter. Even though he opposes ‘tort reform’, ‘bulo favors ‘columnist reform’.

Williams wastes about 16 column inches writing about the amazing coincidence of bumping into 2 long-lost friends in Delaware. Seriously, that’s the column. Because that’s never happened before to any of us in Delaware. Except every week.

Actually, the Beast Who Slumbers is being unfair to Williams. He only wasted about 14 inches on that story. He does unsheathe his mighty journalistic sword (2 inches is more than enough room for Williams to unsheathe his mighty sword) to praise a former Delaware cop who ‘Coons ran out of town for political reasons’. Seems that he’s working wonders in Bluffton, S. C. (Pop. 3300, Tip of the ‘Bulo Sombrero to Geezer). We get it, Ron. Gordon=Good, Coons=Bad. Next columnist, please.

Inspirational Verse: “Why must everyone laugh at my mighty sword?”-Randy Newman

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  1. Rebecca says:

    I’m with you bulo — I’m reading that column this morning and thinking WHAA? Until I came to the zinger about Chris — at least Williams is consistent.

  2. Geezer says:

    By the way, one important fact was left out — the population of Bluffton is about 3,300. I would argue that McAllister has found his level.

  3. Unstable Isotope says:

    The NJ kept Williams on and let other people go.

  4. jason330 says:

    We get it, Ron. Gordon=Good, Coons=Bad. Next columnist, please.

    Next week:

    Coons=Bad, Gordon=Good.

  5. That two minutes you just lost could have been spent having sex 8 times too!

  6. Don “Look what I found in my nose!” Viti wrote:

    “That two minutes you just lost could have been spent having sex 8 times too!”

    Makin’ the scene with a magazine again, Donno?

  7. DFM says:

    Not to be disagreeable but the population of Bluffton is 15,000 and is the fastest growing municpality in South Carolina.

  8. DFM, disagreeables are banished. 🙂
    No you are just unpopular around here for offering facts that rub Coonsies the wrong way.

    ‘Bulo – your echo chamber salutes you even though your marshmallow post is about Nothing!

  9. anonone says:

    Well, the county was better managed under Gordon, but I know that is unpopular to say around here.

    Too bad he fell into to the net of partisan political prosecutions by the Bush Justice Department. Their goal was to end his political career and they were successful in doing so.

  10. As usual, Nancy would be wrong. He thanks DFM for the correction.

    And, by the way, the post is a critique of the media, specifically Williams’ column about nothing. ‘Bulo generally posts about twice a day for free. Williams posts a couple of times a week, and gets paid for it. Shouldn’t he at least make an attempt to earn his money while other Journal staffers are trying to do three jobs at once and making less?

    ‘Bulo believes that any contributor on this site contributes more to the public discourse than Williams. Click on their names under ‘Contributors’ and see for yourself.

  11. TommyWonk says:

    You didn’t need to drop a hint on the mighty sword reference. “Good Old Boys” is still the greatest Randy Newman record, with one splendid song after another.

  12. Yep, Wonkster. ‘Wedding in Cherokee County’ was the referenced song.

    ‘Louisiana, 1927’ from that album became sort of the unofficial song for the Katrina recovery (or non-recovery).

    And, as a thank-you to anyone who’s followed this entire thread, here’s Randy performing that song:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91Eb3FiebTs&feature=related

    And, as long as ‘bulo’s hijacking his own thread, here’s one of Randy’s earliest and most haunting songs. The string arrangement is Randy’s as well:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60AChuvfzUo

  13. cassandra_m says:

    The 15,000 number looks like the number for the Bluffton/Beaufort MSA for the Census. In the last census, Bluffton the town was about 1800 people, so it looks like Geezer is likely correct.

    And Bulo is quite right that this was a stupidly fluffy column even for Williams. Can’t wait for him to take up the completely clueless opposition to the Library Amnesty.

  14. DFM says:

    Actually the 15,000 number is the Town of Bluffton. Since the last census, the town has grown from 1.1 sq. miles to 54 sq. miles and its population has boomed. It is the gateway to Hilton Head and is home ot Palmetto Bluff, one of the top resorts in the entire country — so geezer is not correct.

  15. RSmitty says:

    Wait…DFM…as in David F(?) McAllister?

  16. cassandra_m says:

    So the town grew by annexing a hefty chunk of the MSA then. Which is probably the easiest way to getting to the top of the growth list anywhere. Thanks for the info!

  17. anon says:

    Let Nancy and Ron go on with her blustering, its always good for a chuckle! Hopefully he and Nancy will write ad nauseum that people shouldn’t have a chance to return books before they are turned over to a collection agency. The same old criticism for the sake to criticize.

  18. Geezer says:

    Well, DFM, if you’re going to be an asshat about it, you could at least acknowledge that the enormous growth in population came in the past two years, not 8 years ago.

    You could also look up the statistics, which show crime soaring in 2006, not long after your golden boy showed up.

    He got the job because Gordon and Freebery had dirt on him, meaning they could control him. He wasn’t fit to hold the job in NCCo.

    Here’s the link:

    http://www.idcide.com/citydata/sc/bluffton.htm

  19. Geezer says:

    “Too bad he fell into to the net of partisan political prosecutions by the Bush Justice Department. Their goal was to end his political career and they were successful in doing so.”

    Feel free to introduce a single fact — as opposed to paranoid innuendo — that backs this up.

  20. jason330 says:

    Wait…DFM…as in David F(?) McAllister?

    By Jove..Holmes! You’ve done it again.

  21. anonone says:

    Feel free to introduce a single fact — as opposed to paranoid innuendo — that backs this up.

    I loves having me facts challenged:

    “Between 2001 and 2006, the Bush Justice Department targeted 375 political candidates and elected public officials. If those politicos were Democrats, they were 7 times as likely to be targeted by the Attorney General’s pack of prosecutor wolves.”

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mike-papantonio/justice-department-turns_b_184585.html

    And tell me – what felonies was Gordon charged with by the repub prosecutor that he was convicted of? I’ll help you out: None. But it was in the press long enough to destroy his political career, which was mission accomplished for them.

    Also, be sure to look up Monica Goodling.

  22. RSmitty says:

    Wait…DFM…as in David F(?) McAllister?

    By Jove..Holmes! You’ve done it again.

    Yeah, I have this thing about grasping the obvious, but do note that I had to first go through great pains to force myself to read wRong’s article to even see what it was about. So, while grasping the obvious, it did come at a price.

  23. Geezer says:

    Yeah, that fact you got there, sport, qualifies as innuendo, since there is nothing — repeat, nothing — suggesting that Connolly was doing that.

    In fact, Gordon hired diGenova-Tensing, tied tight to the GOP Justice types. What other explanation do you have for the fact that Connolly was considered for the firing line? You got nothing there, ace, but keep on smoking it.

  24. RSmitty says:

    Not a popular opinion, but I firmly believe that Connolly got used, then screwed. Of course, it took him being a bit naive as well, but that’s what made him an easy mule for the evil empire. What a stellar choice, career-murder or career-suicide. In some ways, I think he may have pulled off both.

  25. anonone says:

    What other explanation do you have for the fact that Connolly was considered for the firing line?

    Was he fired? No.

    Maybe he wasn’t because of the bogus charges he cooked up on Gordon.

  26. anonone says:

    since there is nothing — repeat, nothing — suggesting that Connolly was doing that

    Except the FACT that he was working for a highly politicized Justice Department that was going after Dems with much greater frequency than repubs. If he’d actually gotten a felony conviction on Gordon, you might have a leg to stand on – but he didn’t and you don’t.

  27. RSmitty says:

    A1…I think Geezer is referring to “firing line” as the long-held theory that the Justice Dept had a list of US Attornies for play-or-pay(with your job).

  28. anonone says:

    RSmitty,

    I thought he was referring to the list of U.S. attorneys considered for firing for partisan purposes, or is that the same thing?

  29. anon idiot says:

    “‘Bulo generally posts about twice a day for free. Williams posts a couple of times a week, and gets paid for it. Shouldn’t he at least make an attempt to earn his money while other Journal staffers are trying to do three jobs at once and making less?”

    Ah, ‘Bulo… please check your assumptions at the door. Ron Williams is also the assistant editor of the editorial pages, which means he’s one of three or so people who write the unsigned editorials, edit and select letters to the editor, write headlines and edit and design the pages every day. It’s not just a cushy couple-columns-a-week gig.

    Also, if my source is correct, he was one of the folks offered a buyout over the summer – the people with a billion years of experience – but declined it.