Month: May 2009

You might have missed this in the NJ but this Saturday at Love Park in Philly they are doing casting calls for a new movie funded by Lions Gate.  “Leviticus Deux; The Second Coming” is going to be a modern day bible story.  Set in the year 2002 Jesus was apparently killed by Islamic Terrorists.  The movie opens with mourners running to the pile of rubble that once was the location of Dollywood.  The busty singer is on her knees asking, “Why God, Why Jesus again”.

The apostles are on a mission.  Literally.  And they need to find out who killed Jesus, this time and who is planning to kill him next time.  They need to know NOW!!  God is supposed to be sending another Jesus and the crazy fundamentalists apparently know when and where and mean to kill him.  AGAIN!  Nothing is left to chance and these guys mean business (insert gutsy, manly voiceover).  They have been chosen for a reason.  They have grit.  They are rugged.  They are men.

They are going to Evangelize!

They are seeking the would be killers…and this time…their isn’t time to break bread…..(insert solemn powerful car chase type apocalyptic music) only heads.

The casting company is looking for people to play the parts of the apostles.  There are 12 of them I think and here is spirit of the what they want or are writing in for each character:

Peter/Simon (exact name never is sorted out):  The mastermind that was Jesus’ right hand man.  He keeps his hands clean and get’s the men to carry out his mission.  He sits in his holier than thou office and works the phones and keyboard.  Sending out letter after letter to those that will listen and will follow his word.  He knows it’s hard to live the way Jesus did and will (again) but some people have to die and be tortured if we are going to follow the word of Christ.

Andrew: He is the clandestine operative that snatches the would be killers and brings them to their doom.  He operates under a Shroud from Torin or some shit like that.  His cloak of darkness allow the audience to empathize with him as he follows the word of God all while terrifying the ever living excrement out of his captives.  It has to be done, “God’s Will” he recites into the hooded victims.  softly as he clasps their heads to his breast, “God’s will my son” Chilling and Dark Andrew will be a main player in this film.

James: He plays a small part and is killed by one of the murders.  His martydom doesn’t go unnoticed and John his brother froths to avenge his death as well as his savior, Yahweh.  He is referred to more than once after his untimely death and is the rallying point for John his brother and unredeemed soul mate.