Tuesday Open Thread

Filed in National by on January 12, 2010

It’s Tuesday and it’s open thread time. Today’s open thread has a theme: humor. I’ll give you two examples.

Example #1, from Daily Kos, the new presidential timeline:

According to Rudy Giuliani, Mary Matalin, and Dana Perino:

1/20/1993 to 1/20/2001: Bill Clinton
1/20/2001 to 9/10/2001: George W Bush
9/11/2001: Bill Clinton
9/12/01 to 12/21/2001: George W Bush
12/22/2001 (shoe bomb): Bill Clinton
12/23/2001 to 1/20/2009: George W Bush
1/20/2009 to 12/24/2009: Barack Obama
12/25/2009 to present: BARACK OBAMA! BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA!!!!!!

Example #2, from Tucker Carlson’s new Daily Caller. It’s supposed to be the conservative version of the Huffington Post.

The “Ask Matt Labash” column is supposed to be a funny “conversation.” Highlights from this week include jokes about how getting a traffic ticket is like being raped and Rachel Maddow is “the sexiest man alive”:

For those unfamiliar with me from my day job at The Weekly Standard, I’ll give you a capsule bio by way of introduction: I have the gift of wisdom. Does that sound arrogant? I’m sorry, that wasn’t my intention. I didn’t choose wisdom. It chose me. If I had my druthers, I’d have chosen another gift, perhaps the untold riches of Lil’ Wayne, whose teeth are made of actual diamonds, or to be the sexiest man alive, like Rachel Maddow. […]

Pick three government programs you would eliminate. Why?
–AJ

2. Legalized rape. What’s that you say? Rape isn’t sanctioned in this country? Then you must not live in a city with red-light or speed cameras, where it happens every day. Forget for a second that in one-fourth of all automated ticket cases, the ticketed car owner wasn’t the one actually driving the vehicle at the time of the infraction (what other crime-fighting technology do we consider reliable that nabs the wrong person 25 percent of the time?) Just as heinous is that every year, more and more municipal governments pretend that they plant these all-seeing menaces in the interest of “safety.” Yet every year, their revenues tend to increase from the very same technology. Meaning that the only deterrent effect the technology has is deterring your government from being honest about raping its own citizenry. If you’re going to slide me a roofie, Government, at least take me to dinner and a movie first.

Conservative humor usually consists of joking about assassinations of people you don’t like, calling women who you don’t agree with ugly, implying men you don’t agree with are women and jokes comparing policies you don’t like to rape. We’ve got 2 of 4 here but the column is only a week old.

Tags:

About the Author ()

Opinionated chemist, troublemaker, blogger on national and Delaware politics.

Comments (9)

Trackback URL | Comments RSS Feed

  1. Brian Shields says:
    January 12, 2010 at 12:22 pm

    Wanna talk about funny, where’s the Fat Elvis choice on the poll?

  2. liberalgeek says:
    January 12, 2010 at 1:20 pm

    That’s Vegas Elvis.

  3. aprice says:
    January 12, 2010 at 2:25 pm

    fun http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2010-01-11/the-tea-party-splatters/?cid=hp:mainpromo1

  4. John Manifold says:
    January 12, 2010 at 3:43 pm

    Add another member to the GOP-taking-credit-for-stimulus club:

    Delaware State News, 12/31/09

    Sussex County met challenges in ’09

    By Vance Phillips
    President, Sussex County Council

    As 2009 draws to a close, it’s only natural to reflect on the year gone by. For the Sussex County Council, 2009 was historic. In January, three new members took their seats on the five-member body only to be greeted with news that record deficits were looming, largely because of the economic collapse of 2008.
    …
    Sussex County Council’s accomplishments for 2009 include:
    …
    • Securing $14.6 million in federal “stimulus” funding [of that, $7.7 million is grants] for wastewater projects that will provide immediate construction jobs and reduce costs for users;

  5. John Manifold says:
    January 12, 2010 at 10:46 pm

    Trenchant critique of Internet culture side-effects:

    http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/12/science/12tier.html

  6. jason330 says:
    January 12, 2010 at 11:02 pm

    “It’s as if culture froze just before it became digitally open, and all we can do now is mine the past like salvagers picking over a garbage dump,” Mr. Lanier writes. Or, to use another of his grim metaphors: “Creative people — the new peasants — come to resemble animals converging on shrinking oases of old media in a depleted desert.”

    Thanks for the link JM

  7. anon says:
    January 12, 2010 at 11:09 pm

    LOL, now they are talking about dropping the EMPLOYER mandate!

    WASHINGTON – House and Senate negotiators working on President Barack Obama’s health overhaul bill appear likely to drop a proposed income tax increase on high-wage earners and possibly jettison a requirement for large businesses to offer coverage to their employees, Democratic officials said Tuesday.

    On the other hand, they are also making some progressive noises:

    Negotiators are considering extending the Medicare payroll tax, which now applies only to income from wages, to cover some of the investment earnings of couples making more than $250,000 a year, and individuals earning above $200,000. That could make up lost revenue from dropping the high-wage income tax and scaling back a proposed tax on high-value insurance plans, which is strongly opposed by organized labor and House Democrats.

    The funding stream for Medicare and Social Security is the wage tax, but the wage tax is highly regressive, because investment income isn’t taxed at all. If we are now going to tax investment income, this is very good news – it is a real structural change in the progressive direction.

  8. liberalgeek says:
    January 12, 2010 at 11:15 pm

    But when Napster and other music-sharing Web sites started becoming popular, Dr. Liebowitz correctly predicted that the music industry would be seriously hurt because it was so cheap and easy to make perfect copies and distribute them.

    Is this true? I have doubts.

    http://medialoper.com/how-the-music-industry-garnered-record-profits-in-2008/

    This poor reporter thinks that he is being phased out because we are stealing his work, but in reality we are driving hits to his sorry-ass reporting.

  9. A. price says:
    January 12, 2010 at 11:38 pm

    so did anyone watch sarah palin on Fixed tonight? i did… somehow my tv ended up 15 floors down and my bed ended up on fire. i finally came to in a sun dress covered in tea.

«
»