It’s Tuesday and it’s open thread time. Today’s open thread has a theme: humor. I’ll give you two examples.
Example #1, from Daily Kos, the new presidential timeline:
According to Rudy Giuliani, Mary Matalin, and Dana Perino:
1/20/1993 to 1/20/2001: Bill Clinton
1/20/2001 to 9/10/2001: George W Bush
9/11/2001: Bill Clinton
9/12/01 to 12/21/2001: George W Bush
12/22/2001 (shoe bomb): Bill Clinton
12/23/2001 to 1/20/2009: George W Bush
1/20/2009 to 12/24/2009: Barack Obama
12/25/2009 to present: BARACK OBAMA! BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA!!!!!!
Example #2, from Tucker Carlson’s new Daily Caller. It’s supposed to be the conservative version of the Huffington Post.
The “Ask Matt Labash” column is supposed to be a funny “conversation.” Highlights from this week include jokes about how getting a traffic ticket is like being raped and Rachel Maddow is “the sexiest man alive”:
For those unfamiliar with me from my day job at The Weekly Standard, I’ll give you a capsule bio by way of introduction: I have the gift of wisdom. Does that sound arrogant? I’m sorry, that wasn’t my intention. I didn’t choose wisdom. It chose me. If I had my druthers, I’d have chosen another gift, perhaps the untold riches of Lil’ Wayne, whose teeth are made of actual diamonds, or to be the sexiest man alive, like Rachel Maddow. […]
Pick three government programs you would eliminate. Why?
–AJ2. Legalized rape. What’s that you say? Rape isn’t sanctioned in this country? Then you must not live in a city with red-light or speed cameras, where it happens every day. Forget for a second that in one-fourth of all automated ticket cases, the ticketed car owner wasn’t the one actually driving the vehicle at the time of the infraction (what other crime-fighting technology do we consider reliable that nabs the wrong person 25 percent of the time?) Just as heinous is that every year, more and more municipal governments pretend that they plant these all-seeing menaces in the interest of “safety.” Yet every year, their revenues tend to increase from the very same technology. Meaning that the only deterrent effect the technology has is deterring your government from being honest about raping its own citizenry. If you’re going to slide me a roofie, Government, at least take me to dinner and a movie first.
Conservative humor usually consists of joking about assassinations of people you don’t like, calling women who you don’t agree with ugly, implying men you don’t agree with are women and jokes comparing policies you don’t like to rape. We’ve got 2 of 4 here but the column is only a week old.