Ask Dr. Liberal: PETA and Its Shadow

Dr. Liberal –

PETA wants organizers of Pennsylvania’s Groundhog Day festival to replace Punxsutawney Phil with a robotic stand-in. WTF?  Why is PETA determined to turn itself into the Westboro Baptist Church of the Anti-Animal cruelty movement?   Don’t they realize that this kind of shit makes people want to beat their groundhogs?

Signed,

Phil Connors

Dear Phil,

Every year Phil emerges from his den on Gobbler’s Knob, gets his foot caught in a trap, and is transported to Punxsutawney PA, where in bygone days his liver was consumed by a druid priest and his body burned on a pyre to appease Skadi, the Goddess of winter.  PETA argues that the modern version of this ceremony is cruel.  They claim that taking the 11 year old beast out of its cage, dolling it up and shake it’s money maker under bright lights for the amusement of a bunch of inbred morons is cruel.   But if that were true, “Toddlers in Tiaras” would be cruel and those kids are clearly having a great fucking time.

What was the question again?  Does PETA know that it is hurting its cause by acting like a bunch of  dildos?   Well for PETA it is all about being talked about, and they are being talked about aren’t they?   Every cause needs its vanguard.  Every movement needs its shock troops.  It needs people willing to act like dildo’s and even pick up a brick, or turn over a police car once in a while.  Do I wish they’d apply their energy to something more productive like throwing bricks through the windows of Fox News?   Of course. Every sane person wishes for that.  Maybe instead of wishing someone else would do it, we need to pick up a brick?   Maybe if Fox News is actually killing our democracy we need to go down there and… uh…hold it…   “Toddlers in Tiaras” is coming on.  Brittney totally got robbed in Houston.  I bet she can bounce back in San Antonio. That one has the tough carapace of a 35 year old hooker, and the heart of a champion.

Thanks for the question Phil.

Winter, slumbering in the open air, wears on its smiling face a dream… of spring.

Ciao.

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Take the red pill.

Dr. Liberal is out.