Things Aren’t Always ‘Red’ and ‘Blue’ Concerning Family Values
The problem with social conservatism is that it backs good people into a corner, whether it’s Utah leading the nation in pornography consumption or the litany of Republican politicians who dip their wick outside their marriage bed. As much as we might enjoy the downfall of hypocrites like Sanford and other self-righteous politicians from the right, the social conservative agenda also has huge implications on real people.
In the “blue” states, where abstinence is pushed on to teenagers and contraception is limited, family values like divorce and teenage pregnancy are up. And it’s only getting worse as we recover from the worse economic downturn since the Great Depression. Conversely, it turns out the people who live in “blue” states are succeeding at marriage and “family values” more than the families in “red” states.
A new “blue” family paradigm has handsomely rewarded those who invest in women’s as well as men’s education and defer childbearing until the couple is better established. These families, concentrated in urban areas and the coasts, have seen their divorce rates fall back to the level of the 1960s, incomes rise, and nonmarital births remain rare. With later marriage has also come greater stability and less divorce.
But all is not lost as the authors of Red Families v. Blue Families suggest the following steps to alleviate the family values woes experienced in the “red” states:
(1) promote access to contraception – within marriage as well as outside it
(2) develop a greater ability to combine not only work and family, but family and education
(3) make sure the next generation stays in school, learns the skills to be employed, and cultivates values that can adapt to the future.
Tags: Family Values
Hard times, however, also increase calls for a return to more fixed and traditional values. The fact that traditional families are flailing often persuades them that a return to traditional values is that much more critical. In today’s world, however, almost all of the traditional nostrums have proved counterproductive.
Missing from this debate is recognition of the bankruptcy of traditionalist family values as policy for the postindustrial era. We are entirely sympathetic with those inclined to lock up their daughters from puberty until marriage, but we do recognize that the societies abroad most insistent on policing women’s virtue are locked into cycles of poverty.
This is really important. Because those who are advocating a for more “traditional” families are arguing that we should put the brakes on our own economic best interests. And an awful lot of them don’t seem to need traditional values much while persistently looking to shackle other people with their very non-competitive BS.
Exactly, Cassandra. The wealth and success of a society is highly correlated to the status of women in that society. The more educated and freer the women, the more successful it is. This make sense because denying yourself the contributions and talents of half your population doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. It’s interesting how it’s always the girls that need to be locked up for virtue’s sake. The role of boys is just taken for granted, or it’s o.k with them.
Anyway, speaking of Utah…
In case you had any doubt, it’s all okey-dokey with his colleagues.
I think there are two parts to this story. The most important is that our daughters need to be given every opportunity to succeed just as our sons are. The other is that a “Just Say No” campaign, whether focused on drugs or sex, just doesn’t work.
I don’t think you can wish away strong human drives like cravings for sex, drugs and alcohol. The best you can do is educate about the dangers and give people tools to cope.
The problem with “Just Say No” is that it immediately shuts down the conversation. It’s not only a message, it’s the final answer.
For years I have discussed sex and drugs openly with my children. And along with detailed information I have explained to them why I think they are too young and immature for sex and why drugs can ruin their lives.
Years ago my brother and I were talking to my son and my nephew about sex. Both boys rolled their eyes and said, “Yeah, yeah, yeah we learned all of this in health class.” My brother fired back, “Did they tell you it feels really, really good and that you stop thinking in the heat of the moment?” The look of shock on their faces was priceless. It was also disturbing because while they understood sex they didn’t understand sexuality.
As far as “family values”… that term makes me shudder because this is what I hear every time those words are uttered,
1. The man is the head of the family
2. Church-goers are morally and ethically superior to non-church-goers – although church-goers rate themselves on what churches/religions count more.
3. If their daughters get pregnant there would be no abortion, which sounds good, but isn’t based on fact. And it’s kinda funny how sons are always missing from this discussion.
4. Marriage is sacred. Divorce is bad… unless it’s my divorce.
5. Women are divided into good girls and bad girls. Again, where are the men? Seriously, other than liberal men and Levi Johnston who else do conservatives criticize?
Well… they criticize women, saying things like she should have kept her legs shut which immediately casts men as victims and is the only situation I can find where the Family Values crowd cedes power to women. Conservatives love their madonna and whore categories.
6. Strong women are bitches who aren’t “ladies.” This belief is at the root of the conservative mindset. To me it demonstrates insecurity in one’s masculinity, and is just a repeat of the madonna/whore meme.
Family Values isn’t about values. It’s about rules (mostly applied to women) that seek to maintain a patriarchal society. So it’s not so surprising that there are more divorces in red families – especially when you factor in women working outside the home, which should be a no-no, but has become a necessity.
It’s all a fairy tale, and like most fairy tales it doesn’t hold up so well in real life. And while Cinderella may have been replaced with Twilight the messages are the same… which is a story for another post.
This is a great assessment, Pandora — I would add to that definition of Family Values the idea that there is something government can do to actually enforce their vision of “Family Values”. The same government that cant do anything right, is somehow magically going to get to a societal order that suits them.