Andrew Breitbart has come in for a lot of criticism since he posted an edited, misleading video of USDA employee Shirley Sherrod. Breitbart claims that he was sent just the clip by a tipster and I guess his defense was that he couldn’t figure out how to find the full video. So, I figure his hiring of Dr. Kevin Pezzi for his website is all a part of his “I’m a moron” defense.
Dr. Kevin Pezzi might not have won yesterday’s Asshat award (hey the competition is fierce!) but he has won the heart of Twitter smartasses. He has quite an interesting self-reported biography:
“A government official once claimed that Dr. Pezzi achieved the highest score ever attained on an IQ test administered nationwide, although Pezzi dismisses this as disingenuous pandering.” He has “information about a new cure” for cancer, which he “stumbled upon while reading an editorial and article in one of the many journals I read. The editor said there is good evidence that this new treatment works, and that it truly cures cancer — not just temporarily treating it, as so many cancer therapies do. However, he lamented that the cure is being overlooked, which he felt stemmed from the fact that there isn’t any way for pharmaceutical companies to profit from it.” His “penis size went from embarrassingly small (at least to me) to bigger than some porno stars.” He “declined an offer to go on a blind date with Katie Couric,” because, in part, “my political beliefs would clash with Katie’s well-known liberal bias” and “Katie’s career will keep her in New York (or some similar megalopolis) for the indefinite future. I can’t stand cities.” “He has beaten Bill Gates, an acknowledged math and computer genius who is Chairman of Microsoft, Inc. and the richest man in the world, on a test of mathematical ability and logic.” “A producer who won an Emmy for a blockbuster film contacted me because he is interested in turning one of my books into a movie or TV series.” “[W]hile a college student at Michigan State University, he once went into the wrong room to take a final exam. Even though he was not enrolled in the class, he scored 147 out of 150, easily the highest score achieved by any of the hundreds of students taking the test.” “As a sophomore in college, he decided that his future was in the CIA, not medicine, so he skipped most of organic chemistry. Three days before the final, he changed his mind, crammed, and received a 4.0 for the course.” “In spite of seriously misjudging the optimal strategy for taking the Medical College Admissions Test (MCAT), he scored astronomically.”
I mean, how could you not hire such a smart, talented guy? Obviously a guy with the genius (and large penis) of Kevin Pezzi would be immensely qualified to write about race. In his sensitive and nuanced writings he’s referred to “Japs” and “Chinks.” When some people complained he explained how there were “bad Chinese” and “good Chinese” d’uh. He also wrote that African-Americans and Native Americans should thank us for helping them with our superior technology.
Really, there’s just too much crazy to excerpt here. He claims to have 850 inventions, a cure for cancer, a way to tighten the vagina, penis enhancement technology and a robot chef. He also created his own legion of female followers to praise his book of sex advice.