Breitbart’s Defense
Andrew Breitbart has come in for a lot of criticism since he posted an edited, misleading video of USDA employee Shirley Sherrod. Breitbart claims that he was sent just the clip by a tipster and I guess his defense was that he couldn’t figure out how to find the full video. So, I figure his hiring of Dr. Kevin Pezzi for his website is all a part of his “I’m a moron” defense.
Dr. Kevin Pezzi might not have won yesterday’s Asshat award (hey the competition is fierce!) but he has won the heart of Twitter smartasses. He has quite an interesting self-reported biography:
“A government official once claimed that Dr. Pezzi achieved the highest score ever attained on an IQ test administered nationwide, although Pezzi dismisses this as disingenuous pandering.” He has “information about a new cure” for cancer, which he “stumbled upon while reading an editorial and article in one of the many journals I read. The editor said there is good evidence that this new treatment works, and that it truly cures cancer — not just temporarily treating it, as so many cancer therapies do. However, he lamented that the cure is being overlooked, which he felt stemmed from the fact that there isn’t any way for pharmaceutical companies to profit from it.” His “penis size went from embarrassingly small (at least to me) to bigger than some porno stars.” He “declined an offer to go on a blind date with Katie Couric,” because, in part, “my political beliefs would clash with Katie’s well-known liberal bias” and “Katie’s career will keep her in New York (or some similar megalopolis) for the indefinite future. I can’t stand cities.” “He has beaten Bill Gates, an acknowledged math and computer genius who is Chairman of Microsoft, Inc. and the richest man in the world, on a test of mathematical ability and logic.” “A producer who won an Emmy for a blockbuster film contacted me because he is interested in turning one of my books into a movie or TV series.” “[W]hile a college student at Michigan State University, he once went into the wrong room to take a final exam. Even though he was not enrolled in the class, he scored 147 out of 150, easily the highest score achieved by any of the hundreds of students taking the test.” “As a sophomore in college, he decided that his future was in the CIA, not medicine, so he skipped most of organic chemistry. Three days before the final, he changed his mind, crammed, and received a 4.0 for the course.” “In spite of seriously misjudging the optimal strategy for taking the Medical College Admissions Test (MCAT), he scored astronomically.”
I mean, how could you not hire such a smart, talented guy? Obviously a guy with the genius (and large penis) of Kevin Pezzi would be immensely qualified to write about race. In his sensitive and nuanced writings he’s referred to “Japs” and “Chinks.” When some people complained he explained how there were “bad Chinese” and “good Chinese” d’uh. He also wrote that African-Americans and Native Americans should thank us for helping them with our superior technology.
Really, there’s just too much crazy to excerpt here. He claims to have 850 inventions, a cure for cancer, a way to tighten the vagina, penis enhancement technology and a robot chef. He also created his own legion of female followers to praise his book of sex advice.
“tighten the vagina, penis enhancement ” The Perpetual Motion Machine
which requires the Lubricating Lotion Machine.
See, I’m as good at inventing as Dr.Pezzi. Don’t forget my,rather gubernatorial candidate Dan Maes and my abortion bike.Patent pending.All proceeds benefiting the unholy apocalypse brought to you by a black president and human rights struggles, as seen on Fox News.
You have to work the gay agenda in there somewhere as well as the global warming conspiracy.
wait – vagina tightening??? thought that was Keigal – from Keigal exercises!!!
LOL – someone beat him to it already
What happens when a GUY rides an abortion bike?
Test have been inconclusive but so far we have discovered sterility,fertility and enlarged stool. Further studies have shown climate change and a fondness for disco naps.
If you ride your abortion bike to church, can you still receive Communion?
Depends on how much you tithe.
My my. The insidiousness of it all. Every goddamned Sunday we’d trod off to St.Catherine’s. Dad made us sit in the front freaking pew. Sit.Kneel.Stand.Lather,rinse,Repeat. You know those bastards had offering envelopes just for the kids? They were priming, mining for future gold. Thanks for that memory, not.
Jeez, Joe… some of the guys who got molested aren’t as angry as you.
Who says I didn’t get molested? I didn’t, but one tried. What, you don’t think I’m good enough to be molested? Where do you get off? Don’t answer that, a priest or a republican may be reading.
LOL – I have similiar fond memories
nun of this, nun of that and nun of the above
you forgot the crack to the back of the head….which caused severe coup-contracoup injuries that I am still suffering for….
Aoine, we weren’t medicated back then for ADHD. Isn’t that the last time you saw a yardstick? The good sisters would march back and forth like the SS.
Ja wohl! It did, however, contribute to my masturbatory fantasies.
Anyone listen to the John Watson show this am would think we were living in the 18th century. Bible thumping southern baptist minister claiming there is a) no separation of church and state (he claims the country was founded on christian-judeo religion? b) that homosexuality is against God and quoted parabels from “his” bible stating these are crimes against God. (No mention of stoning women as ok by his Bible). c) Claimed that the Judge’s ruling in California is anti God, and catering to the homosexuals who are diseased (from aids), guess he doesnt know some straight people have anal sex, d) that women have no place in the church as ministers or teachers (what century is this clown living in) e) we must vote against anyone who supports the gays (guess some politicans won’t admit they are gay to get the evangelical vote). f)he claims that the Bible overrules all “mans law including the Consitution, (guess he knows nothing of history or the founders being deist and founded the country on “NO state religion”! Watson kept this clown on for almost 2 hours spewing the worst lies, deception on the founders, the Consitution and according to the “throwback”, marriage can only be between a man and woman. A simple google will point out that marriage licenses were only begun in the 18th century. The minister clown stated that “liberals are pushing the country to go down a non-christian path by permitting gays to marry and that will be the end of time. Astoundingly, the majority calling in to support Mr. Minister Clown were black folk who believed everything he said. I am wondering if Obama is afflicted with the same misconceptions which he why he was against Prop 8, but still refuses to accept gays/lesbian marriages. Its interesting blacks who struggled for civil and human rights, seem to deny those rights to anyone else, like mexicans, gays and rights of women in this century. He continued to repeat verses from the Old Testament claiming the “Bible is the word of God”. Raised a southern baptist I fled that insane church reaching 18 because Baptists believe we must fear God or he will use fire and brimstone against you. We all know God didnt write one word in the Bible, it was written by men to control the population. The minister claimed he was so upset last night watching TV as the “liberal media” were delivering anti christ messaging (must have been listening to Rachel Maddow) he called Watson to request time on the radio to expose his version of the Bible. If listening to this loon didnt make you laugh, you had to cry as one by one the callers supported the looney toon.
IAAC, I heard and I wept. I emailed Watson about the unbalance of it all. I was lifted to hear Nancy Willing call in. For all the good it did. This is what it all comes down to: my god is better than your god. Its a Fing sickness that we’ll never recover from. As long as someone holds high ground to the rest, its an invulnerable position. In Viet Nam the pilots called it “Death From Above”. These flyboys never had to think about the consequences of their actions because they never witnessed it. The bible thumpers don’t witness their damage either, they’re looking for a seat closer to the hand of god or 72 virgins, whatever. I have one faith, a certainty that humans are a cancer that will destroy all in our grasp, so I hold no fear or prejudice. So the F what if your god is greater than mine- I would still like to help, to make your life easier than mine has been for this short time we share. Pastor Toby led a protest against a grocery store in Glascow about some silly gay thing or another. Say he was successful, what about those jobs? Would Jehovah provide mortgage,utilities and insurance for those he cast out? Sorry, I descend into Angry Kid Joe. Love DL! Thanks for putting up with me!
Angry Joe Kid – it certainly contributed to fantasies all right – like what DID their hair look like under that veil???
so me a Nazi – we can show you a Nun – the Nazi would run! – those women!!
and yardsticks?? we had bamboo “canings” – so as to build character – pull your hand away – get an extra whack – bamboo stung dude!
yadsticks/rulers where reserved for the piano teacher – dual use..
metronome AND corporal punishment tool – simulanteously…
ahhh, the stories we could tell….
Joe et al, I have a question – what is the difference between someone like the Pastor on John Watson and the radical Islamic extremists that preach jihad from the “pulpits” all over the world?
Don’t these guys get it?? – they are doing the exact same things – just each purporting that their way is the only way?? I am still trying to wrap my poor little catholic head around it all.
I like Catholicism – its easy – screw up all week – confess on Saturday – take communion at Mass on Sunday – try to repent and sin no more – then comes Sunday night and we start all over again..
The priest intermediary thing does make it easier than forgiving youself – someone else get to do it and it feels good….
The only place I am “my way or the hightway ” is at work – other than that – I dont care who has sex with whom or how they choose to have sex – as long as its consenting adults…
bring on nude beaches, gambling, pot etc.. hell legalize prostitution in Delaware if it creates jobs and is regulated, liscensed and taxed…
I suppose I’m going to hell anyway – might as well have fun on the way there……
I never called anybody a nazi, I said nuns marched back and forth like the SS – as I had seen in documentaries.
Genocide,socialism and discipline don’t do it for me. A woman in a skirt breaking rank does.
Your way to follow your beliefs is the best way. I am thankful that you may find a path to peace. I would love to learn from you the solace and security you receive from your faith, just don’t force it upon me nor legislate laws that conform to your doctrine.
As for as sex, in the immortal words of Joey Tribliani, “How you doin’?”
my bad typing – no you didn’t – I meant to say – show me a nazi and I’ll show you a nun..and then nazi running away… that was my reference
sorry for the misunderstanding
discipline never did it for me either – the nuns made sure of that..
women in skirts breaking ranks… that I know a lot about…
and I be doin’ fine – thanks