“Conservative” Jesus
I’m not surprised by this article, since many conservatives politicize Jesus. Instead of modeling their lives after Jesus, they model Jesus after their lives. Very convenient. They’ve reduced their religion to taking sides at a sporting event.
He helped the poor without one government program. He healed the sick without a government health care system. He feed the hungry without food stamps. And everywhere He went, it turned into a rally, attracting large crowds, and giving them hope, encouragement and inspiration.
For three years He was unemployed, and never collected an unemployment check. Nevertheless, he completed all the work He needed to get done. He didn’t travel by private jet. He walked and sailed, and sometimes traveled on a donkey.
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The liberal court found Him guilty of false offences and sentenced Him to death, all because He changed the hearts and minds of men with an army of 12.
His death reset the clock of time.
Never before and not since has there ever been such a perfect conservative.
Love the liberal court reference. Actually, I love all of it. I haven’t laughed this hard in a while.
Tags: Religion
Jesus sailed? Then he must be a Republican, well except for that long hair, beard and penchant for wearing sandals. But he did like prostitutes a lot, so he has that Republican meme going for him.
Um, weren’t the Romans pretty conservative – only citizens, i.e., white men who owned property, allowed to vote and serve as Senators? And didn’t they set up military governments all over the known world? Sounds pretty conservative to me. But then again, I’m Jewish, so what do I know.
And he walked on water … just like Ronald Reagan.
I like how they praise what He did, and then rail on the modern American equivalent program that does that now in each sentence.
“He fed the hungry.. but we shouldn’t let an organized government program help with that now! we should stand on street corners individually with tureens of soup! like Jesus!”
its worse V,
the republicans think we should stand on the street corner and help the hungry get motivated to help themselves. I can just see Haley Barbour standing on the corner of Pa and De ave, stuffing a cheese sandwich down his fat Confederate gullet and yelling at bums to get a job….. because that is what Jesus would have done.
Jesus accepted his punishment, so he must not have been against capital punishment. But if he were truly a conservative, wouldn’t he have traveled by elephant, not donkey?
Miracle cures as a health-care program? Sounds pretty much like modern conservatism to me.
Apparently Jesus did sail as this picture proves. Color me embarrassed.
He wouldn’t have been so poor if he had sold naming rights to those sails, like they do in today’s yacht races.
Another Mike – I think he rode a dinosaur (they roamed the Earth during his time).