President Obama Has A Primary Opponent!

Filed in National by on January 21, 2011

President Obama’s first announced primary opponent has stepped up to the plate. No, it’s not a progressive challenger from the left – it’s anti-abortion nutter Randall Terry! What could possibly go wrong? Just listen to his platform which will warm Democratic hearts everywhere.

“We will focus on a theocentric libertarian platform,” Terry told the crowd of maybe a couple dozen supporters and press.

What’s that? Pretty much exactly what it sounds like. Terry said he will run an “unashamedly theocentric campaign.”

“The Constitution of the United States of America is a phenomenal document,” he said. “But it is not the primary document that was given to the human race to govern themselves. That would be the Ten Commandments and the Sermon On The Mount.”

His plan is extremely well-reasoned and logical. He plans on taking advantage of the open caucus process.

Terry also says running as a Democrat provides him with the chance to “humiliate” Obama in Iowa. It’s less than likely that Team Obama will mount a vigorous campaign to take on Democratic challengers like Terry, which Terry suggested could be a big mistake. Using “two RVs,” his collection of volunteers and his large mailing list, Terry plans to storm the Hawkeye State starting in March to convince voters to become Democrats just to throw a protest vote Obama’s way.

“The Iowa caucuses are designed so that people — Republicans, Democrats and Independents — can walk into the caucus, the night of the caucus and say ‘tonight, I’m a Democrat,'” Terry explained. “Together, we can take this primary train, with pro-life and tea party values down Democrat rails.”

“Even if I get 35-40% of the vote in Iowa, it’s a massive embarrassment to President Obama and it shows the level of voter rage against this man,” Terry said.

I don’t see how this plan could possibly fail. :eyeroll:

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Comments (11)

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  1. Dana Garrett says:

    A theocentric platform, eh? Him and the Taliban.

  2. anon says:

    Theocentric? Good. It’s about time we based our government on the teachings of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. May the sauce be with you.

  3. Dana Garrett says:

    I think theocratic libertarianism means that while the church is busy dictating personal morality for citizens, wealthy elites will have considerable latitude in making money.

  4. anon says:

    Terry doesn’t get it. The alliance between wealth and the religious right is over. The wealthy elites were only pandering to the religious right to gain power to secure their financial interests.

    Now the new patsies are the teabaggers, who are superficially secular and only interested in limited government. The religious right worships a perverted version of God, teabaggers worship a perverted version of the Constitution.

  5. Jason330 says:

    I remember when “Theocratic libertarianism” would have been regarded as an oxymoron. Libertarians are now all Republicans now, so it is not very jarring to see the term.

  6. socialistic ben says:

    Theocratic libertarianism = the government ONLY has the power to tell you what to do in bed, and to start wars.

  7. anon says:

    Theocratic libertarianism

    I thought libertarians were pro-choice and pro-gay marriage. Maybe they can go protest in front of their own churches.

  8. Republican David says:

    Many Libertarians are pro-life. A couple of recent Presidential nominees were pro-life. If you believe life begins at conception, then libertarian principles that government protects individual right to life and property from being taken by force or fraud applies. If you do no, then choice would trump until you believe life is settled.

    I am not a fan of this move. I hope it fizzles. I don’t want him pulling away a few thousand people who could vote for Governor Huckabee for an ill fated protest.

  9. Aoine says:

    yea David – so are many Communists, and athiests and Bhuddists, and Hindus…Oh that’s right you only accept those who believe in CHRIST – No big tent for you