Blaming Teenage Girls – It’s All The Rage!
Jennifer Moses is conflicted.
All of which brings me to a question: Why do so many of us not only permit our teenage daughters to dress like this—like prostitutes, if we’re being honest with ourselves—but pay for them to do it with our AmEx cards?
Gee, I don’t know, Jennifer. Why are you okay with calling young girls – who you admit to dressing – prostitutes?
Her theory on this is priceless…
I have a different theory. It has to do with how conflicted my own generation of women is about our own past, when many of us behaved in ways that we now regret. A woman I know, with two mature daughters, said, “If I could do it again, I wouldn’t even have slept with my own husband before marriage. Sex is the most powerful thing there is, and our generation, what did we know?”
Ah… the old sex equals power argument. Also, could someone explain to me how teenage girl fashion equals good time girl? Oh wait, Jennifer can!
We are the first moms in history to have grown up with widely available birth control, the first who didn’t have to worry about getting knocked up. We were also the first not only to be free of old-fashioned fears about our reputations but actually pressured by our peers and the wider culture to find our true womanhood in the bedroom. Not all of us are former good-time girls now drowning in regret—I know women of my generation who waited until marriage—but that’s certainly the norm among my peers.
Take a look at that last sentence: Not all of us are former good-time girls now drowning in regret—I know women of my generation who waited until marriage—but that’s certainly the norm among my peers. Congratulations, Jennifer! Not only did you trot out the sex equals power argument, but you added the Madonna/whore example. Is she really saying that women who waited for marriage are the only women she knows without regrets? Apparently so…
Still, in my own circle of girlfriends, the desire to push back is strong. I don’t know one of them who doesn’t have feelings of lingering discomfort regarding her own sexual past. And not one woman I’ve ever asked about the subject has said that she wishes she’d “experimented” more.
Sex equals power? Check.
Madonna/whore? Check.
If you’re a woman then sex makes you feel guilty and have regrets? Check.
Jennifer needs a wider circle of friends, preferably ones with brains. She could also use a spine since she is the one paying for her daughter to dress in a way she supposedly disapproves. Which doesnt say much for her parenting skills.
When I read through the article the first time my first thought was… Where are the boys? And then I read the comments, written mostly by men. If you’re looking for a problem with society, look no further than the comment section on this article.
Ever since the “Sexual Revolution” and contraception, female fashion has become synonymous with “prostitute fashion.” When are we going to stop being so barbaric? Women should inspire men to do great things, especially in how women dress, honor their beauty, and not profane it; above all, women must inspire men to be real men and quit appealing to men’s primitive urges.
Yep, it’s the woman’s job to civilize men, and if they don’t “inspire men to do great things” then, well… they were asking for it?
If you dress your daughters up like little tramps, don’t be surprised when boys treat them like tramps. Most boys are looking for one thing, and it’s a lot easier to find when it’s standing right in front of you painted up and half naked. Of course when those two tango, and they will, mom will be quick to blame the boy for being a predator!
I’m beginning to sense a “she’s asking for it” theme.
And let’s stop for one second in this brutally feminized culture to imagine what this does to healthy hetero boys, who already reflexively think about sex once ever five minutes, who are supposed to be thinking about math and geometry, but who simply can’t take their eyes off the shape of those legs and those swelling bosoms.
Is this the reason America has fallen behind in math and science?
Im 23 and you have to be extremely careful. You could think a girl is cute walk up to her and find out shes 13 not 18. Fix your daughters I refuse to marry and provide for a used up sl*t with 3 kids who then will divorce me in 2 years, stealing 1/2 my net worth in the process, because shes ‘unhappy’.
Wouldn’t you just love to be the woman who married this guy?
And if you think I cherry-picked the worst comments, go read for yourself. Seriously, go read the comments.
Jennifer Moses wrote an article that told the world that she’s a bad parent – and it has nothing to do with what her daughter wears. In fact, the entire article had nothing to do with teenage girl fashion. It had to do with Ms. Moses being too weak to stand up to peer pressure and her daughter. I guess if other parents were buying their kids drugs, Jennifer would buy her child drugs, and then… feel badly?
Tags: sexism
The righteous armor of sexual prudery only fits bad parents this snugly.
Next they will be calling for a head-to-toe draping of women behind veils that reveal only their eyes, while simultaneously decrying the Burqa for its denotation of Islamic radicalism. For a deeper discussion of these issues, read “Ishtar Rising” by Robert Anton Wilson (written to win a bet that he couldn’t write a whole book about boobs, he won the bet).
i DO get kind of squeemish when i see a 13 year old in a push-up bra, tight pants that say “juicy” and what i all “slut-hair” (think Tara Reid)
also “, but who simply can’t take their eyes off the shape of those legs and those swelling bosoms.”
it doest matter if a girl is dressed like Nanuk of the North. if teenage boys are away that boobies (medical term) are present, that is all they can think about.
“Prostitute fashion?” Is there really such a critter?
I’d still do Madonna
prostitute fashion…. remember the “hit me baby one more time” music video?…. aka “hi, im jailbait”
slut hair? No such thing, Ben, and that comment isn’t helpful. What is slut hair? Last fall my daughter wanted bangs with her long hair. They made her look adorable (and, imo, younger, but don’t tell her that). When she went to school – dressed in khaki cargo pants, tee shirt and orange high top chucks – a boy came up to her and told her to “be careful, the bangs made her look slutty.” She was devastated. I wanted to stomp on that little punk. Instead we had a long talk about sexism and misogyny.
Truth is, it doesn’t matter what girls/women wear because many men will always go down the sexist road – if a girl/woman is “hot” then she will be admired by a man… until she turns him down and then she’s a slut. If she’s “not hot” then she’s a “dog,” or any other negative name they can come up with, because he decides he would never have sex with her. It’s always about control.
Look… I hate bad fashion, and am thrilled that the skinny jean fad is fading. I felt the same way about pleated pants with tapered legs! Ugh.
You are correct, Pandora, Jennifer Moses is indeed conflicted.
Conspicuous to me is that she makes no mention of her husband and her daughter’s father (presumably). It makes me wonder how he participates in the raising of their daughter.
Her being conflicted in today’s context does not surprise me as I make the comparison between today’s context and ours 30 years ago as parents of two teen girls. But then we were conflicted at times then, thinking back the 30 years before when we were teens.
We found that the resolution of these conflictions comes about more readily when we parents were both together and working together to raise our children, taking into account the context in which we found ourselves at that time.
It is also important to note that most teen age children are incapable of having perspective on their own context, therefore must have parental guidance to help them through these most challenging years. Having many family activities together is a big help. There’s that word “together” again. Striking!
I cannot help but wonder if Jennifer Moses has this togetherness. I am guessing “not”.
yikes. I havent irked pandora in a while. I should explain. Im talking about the sex-hair look… controlled mess that looks like a romp had just taken place. (slut hair was bad word choice) When paired with cloths that literally have words like “juicy” and “badgirl” printed on areas gentlemen aren’t supposed to look at, or slogans like “my eyes arent down here” printed on the chest of a shirt worn by a lady who might have back pain… first of all if you have words on your shirt at least understand people might want to read it…. regardless of how embossed they are.
My point is, there is a societal definition, right or wrong, ….. mostly wrong…. of what a “slut” would dress like. I certainly dont like seeing a young lady from a distance in the mall wearing tiny cloths and thinking “gee SHE looks attractive” only to get closer and see she cant be any older than 14. Makes me feel like a creep because I know it is wrong to think that of young girls, even if they dress like their 23 year old pop star idols.
Remember ladies, make-up…. an industry created by men…. is intend to make you look…. anyone? HORNY. blushed cheeks, wide eyes, red lips…. all physical signs of arousal that our tiny male brains are programed to recognize as “lookin for action” and respond to. Most of us who are real men only take is as far as “wow she hot. me attracted. but me drive 1990 honda civic. what classy lady like that want with slub like me?”.
But “looking cute” is just an industry euphemism for “sexy”. Should whores (yes i said it) like the Kardashians be the examples of female liberation we let our daughters look up to?
Let’s look at it a different way. When i was in high school my hair was stop-sign red and gel-molded into 4 inch liberty spikes. I wore eye shadow and painted my fingernails black. NOFX shirts, long baggy black pants… total punk through and through. I would get followed around in every store i walked into, hassled by every security guard I passed by and avoided on buses or trains. I made the decision to dress like a person who was out to start trouble. There is a stereotype for everything.
also, were the Chucks fluorescent orange? i have low cut all-stars that are neon green, double tongued.. orange and pink… pure hell under a black light. That outfit isnt even close to what i would consider questionable. Little prick probably get abused at home and wanted to take it out on somebody.
It’s always great to hear from you, Perry!
Articles like this make me angry. Perhaps we should be raising our sons not to view women solely as potential sex partners – that it isn’t all about their penis and who it would, or would not do. Seriously, is there anything dumber a man can say than “I’d do her.” Pathetic.
Ben, I get that everyone, to some extent, draws conclusions from appearances. What I would like to do is remove gender specific words from our liberal vocabulary. FTR, I thought Bill Maher was completely out of line a few weeks ago with his sexist rant about Sarah Palin.
*The high tops are pumpkin orange. She also has them in silver!
something dumber than “id do her”
“i support Ron Paul for president”.
I would also mention that ive heard many a loud conversation between a group of girls…. they are just as perverted as their male counterparts.
Chucks are the Shiz. the only hold over from my punk days (even though they are owned by Nike now) http://www.converse.com/?CSID=44_kwid/#/products/shoes/converseOne/scratch/converseProductRed im pretty sure she already knows about that, but you can design your own and help save the world.
Im not aware of Bill Maher’s rant, but I do think that Sarah Palin “plays to the pants” of her male-redneck supporters and I think it is disgusting of her. I also dont think it is out of line to accuse her of that. She uses her teenage-mom daughter to gain support, her mentally challenged baby, her son who is serving our country….. everything she can exploit to gain support she uses in the most sell-out way possible. Her … “good looks” included.
Cameron Diaz’s hair in Something About Mary was, technically, Slut Hair, but it wasn’t her fault!
For me, this woman is all projection and wishful thinking. Is she a conservative? No, really…honest question.
This is timely:
http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/were-so-sorry-about-the-funny-thing-about-the-slutwalk/
worthless without pictures…
I would like to know what the point is in dressing like a stripper if not to “show off the goods”. Seriously. I have seen totally unrevealing outfits that look way more flattering that a visible thong and 5″ skirt.
I go back to my dumbass punk days when I sneered at people who looked at the kid that was obviously trying to draw attention to himself.
Here is another example. If you are in the city and see a man walking towards you scowling, with a blue bandana on, blue clothing, timberlands, and hands hidden…. at 11pm with not alot of people around…… do you
a) engage him in conversation to ask about how the current economy is effecting his stock portfolio…. or
b) remember every bit of gang violence you have ever heard of, what the members of those gangs wear and at the very least find a way to inconspicuously change the direction you are walking so you dont accidently offend someone who decided to dress like a Cryp that day?
I’m a very open minded and accepting person but I still get first impressions of people. And if people CHOOSE to dress or groom in a way that conveys “im a slut” or “im a thug” or “im a skinhead” My willingness to interact with them decreases.
Yea, it can be wacky out there. So I stay in and only “ogle” provocatively dressed underage girls from my TV.
In the future,I’m pretty sure the “Thought Police” would only charge me for misdemeanors.
There was a picture in the WSJ article. Guess what? They looked like teenage girls. Shocking, right? they are just asking to be raped, aren’t they Phil?
Well, of course they are not.
Girls aren’t dressing as prostitutes. They are dressing as pop stars.
6 in 1….
We’re not talking about raised eyebrows or a “what were they thinking when they put that on” comment. We’re discussing when someone’s attire makes someone else feel as if they have a right to cross a line – verbally or physically. Like: Well, if she didn’t want to have sex then she shouldn’t have dressed that way.”
Every woman I know has faced this sort of abuse – no matter what they were wearing. This sort of behavior happens constantly, and it extends way beyond crossing a street to avoid someone you find intimidating.
I am stunned that as the mother of a teenage daughter Ms. Moses would compare these girls to prostitutes.
Also, plenty of guys at this age start going to a gym or going goth. They are just as involved in their appearance and attracting the opposite sex. (hint: it’s called puberty) Where are their cruel sexual names?
you mean like “fag”? enough guys still take that as an insult for it to work and TRUST me, almost ANYTHING will get you called that in HS and JrH. Not having a girlfriend, having a girlfriend, not having the right cloths, having good cloths, doing well in school, not doing well in school. You wanna see sexually based cruelty…. the guys locker room. no i have not been in one for 10 years.
Im also (i hope by now you’d all know this about me) not defending anything beyond an initial private thought. But how you dress says something about you. Make sure you are saying what you want to say and understand it might get you called a name by some people with no filter.
again, even if someone stomps a skinhead for their swastika tats, it is wrong. I’ll privately admire them, but the skin should be able to tell the world how loathsome they are without fear of physical harm.
Moses is just perpetuating the myth that men are animals that can’t control themselves so girls are responsible for keeping them tame.
ok, Mom, I’m going to give some advice.
Jennifer’s and your argument may be timely, but they don’t really amount for much…
There are parts that do amount to much… One, since the beginning of time, girls (guys too) want to look attractive…
Two, since the beginning of time, parents want their kids to look attractive as well.
Three, since the beginning of time, sex is not related to what a person is wearing… Sex is related to “wanting to do it…”
Four, what has changed, is that now, babies are not an automatic repercussion of having sex….
As a mom, as a parent, you should be pointing out to your kids (male and female), that smart people make better partners. They are more fun, more loving, and less concerned about their vanity. That means that you should pick out attractive couples who are doing well, and comment…look, she married a smart one… Likewise, point out the shortcomings of those couples your child looks at and goes “Ewwww” saying… “and she didn’t…”
What you are doing is counteracting society’s values with real values…. The realest value in this world, is that you want your kids to be happy. You know that chasing beauty, is short lived. The opposite, chasing intelligence, makes one still sought after,long after your beautiful young competitors have faded… ( just go to any 30 year reunion and watch)….
Girls who marry geeks, always seem to have wonderful lives.. What’s up with that?