The GOP Caucus

Filed in National by on July 27, 2011

This just in:

Cantor then tells Boehner that as chief he should just order the freshman to work harder. Boehner admits that even if he called a meeting, the group would agree to five minutes of work and then “wander off to go hunting.” Recognizing this as a slight against himself and his hunters, Cantor blushes, and he explains that the group is hungry. Boehner points out that Cantor’s group has yet to bring any meat back from the forest-the hunters would rather swim than hunt.

Cantor explains that he has little control over his hunters, but he has been working hard himself to “kill.” A “madness” flashes in his eyes when he vows to kill a deal, but Boehner again reminds him that he has not yet captured any prey.

The two argue about Cantor’s contributions to the society on Congress island, Cantor vowing to kill prey and Boehner insisting that they need shelters more than anything.

McConnell mentions that the other boys, especially the Freshman, are frightened and scream in the middle of the night. The three are interrupted by Bachmann, who reminds Boehner and Cantor about the Freshuns’ fear of the “Kenyan.”

The three reminisce about their first day on Congress island, when they explored the unknown territory together. They laugh that the Frshuns are “crackers.” Cantor says that when he is hunting he often feels as if he is being hunted, but he admits that this is irrational. Nevertheless, he says, he knows “how they feel.”

Boehner ignores this confession and reminds Cantor to remember the fire when he is out hunting. Cantor and Boehner make their way to the mountain to inspect the fire, leaving Bachmann behind. The two speculate as to whether or not the fire is strong enough to signal Jesus, but Cantor is distracted again by thoughts of killing a deal.

Boehner, indignant at Cantor’s preoccupation with hunting, accuses him again of not contributing to the project of being reelected. Not wanting to start a fruitless argument, however, Boehner points out the other boys near the bathing pool. The two boys decide to go swimming together in the island bathing pool and soon find that the tension between them has dissolved.

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Jason330 is a deep cover double agent working for the GOP. Don't tell anybody.

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