Thoughts and Prayers on Gun Nuts (Updated)

Filed in National by on November 6, 2017

Another week, another mass shooting in America. This one was less than half as deadly as Las Vegas, but it did break the Texas record. Yee-haw!

The gunman grew up in a $1 million house (which is a lot less common there than here) in the San Antonio suburbs, joined the Air Force, was kicked out for beating his wife and ended his short, less-than-useless life by taking 26 innocent people with him on his short detour before meeting the devil face-to-face.

UPDATE: CNN is reporting that the gunman had threatened his ex-mother-in-law, who sometimes attended the church he targeted but was not there Sunday.

Cue the usual excuses, only this time make them more nauseating.

Our bald president responded quickly — in the Far East he’s awake at 3 p.m. instead of 3 a.m. — by giving Conservative Response 4-A: It’s a mental-health issue. Beyond the irony of Orange Baldy talking about someone else’s mental health, it’s the most easily dismissed bit of idiocy the right has ever coughed up about guns: Mental health problems are universal among humans, obviously, while mass shootings are common only to America and war zones.

“The Rev.” Robert Jeffress, whom Jesus would not piss on if he were on fire, told Fox that such a shooting would never happen in his church, because half his congregation is packing in the pews. Yee-haw!

Most deranged and disgusting was the response from Kellyanne Conway, who said she was “really happy at times like this,” that Trump is president. Not happy to stop at one lie, she continued, “People are taking to Twitter in the comfort of their very luxurious lives, pointing fingers, and as far as I can tell, never really helping in between the tweet storms. Never really helped charities, never helped people to heal, never try to reach across for understanding.”

You’ll notice she never said whether the people she’s talking about are Democrats or Republicans.

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  1. jason330 says:

    The conservative responses to these monthly killings are usually nauseating, but same old reactions to this one seem especially nauseating to me for some reason.

    Maybe the “prayers” for the victims is getting to me more than usual.

  2. Alby says:

    I missed the most imbecilic response, from Ainsley Earhardt on Fox & Friends: the victims were in the best place to be for a shooting victim because they were close to Jesus when they died.

  3. mouse says:

    Wow, that’s cult like response

  4. RE Vanella says:

    Yeah, I mean the exchange of semi automatic rifle fire inside a small church would definitely keep the causality numbers down.

  5. jason330 says:

    SUTHERLAND SPRINGS, Texas — About half of the victims killed in the worst mass shooting inside a house of worship in American history were children, including one who was only a year old, Texas officials said Monday.

    Twenty-six people were shot dead during the Sunday massacre at First Baptist Church in Sutherland Springs, a small, tight-knit town about 30 miles outside of San Antonio. Of them, 12 to 14 were kids, according to Wilson County Sheriff Joe Tackitt.

    Some of those children were members of a family who saw three generations — eight members of their extended family, plus an unborn child — all killed within minutes.

    “We’re having a hard time,” Joe Holcombe, who lost children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, told NBC News.

    Free and easy access to military style weapons, otherwise tyranny.

  6. Tom Kline says:

    I’m sorry have I been missing responses to monthly shootings in Wilmington…

    The conservative responses to these monthly killings are usually nauseating, but same old reactions to this one seem especially nauseating to me for some reason.

    Maybe the “prayers” for the victims is getting to me more than usual.

  7. Alby says:

    Well, shit-for-brains, the difference is that the shootings in Wilmington are targeted — people are shooting people they know, not random strangers by the dozen — and people don’t pretend there’s nothing they can do about it.

    Thanks for playing, though, you leaking sack of shit.