If Jason330 was the Chauvin Prosectuor – A Play in One Act
The prosecuting attorney’s are doing a fine job, and don’t need any help from me, but if I was on the prosecution team, this is how the rest of the trial would go down.
[Sound of a gavel]
Judge: Let’s continue.
ME: Your honor, can we let the jury take five for minute while I ask you and the defense team a quick question?
Judge: This is highly unusual, but I’ll allow it. But be careful McCoy.
[Bailiffs remove the jury.]
ME: Ha. Good ‘Law and Order’ reference, judge. Anyway… Chauvin’s defense attorney, Mr. Nelson is doing a shit job. All he seems to have is this idea that George Floyd died of a drug induced heart attack and not a 9 minute to knee to the throat as MANY experts have now testified.
Judge: Please get to your point.
ME: My point is that we can wrap this up right quit if I put my knee on Mr. Nelson’s neck for 9 minutes. If he lives – he is right and Chauvin is innocent. If he dies, the Chauvin killed Floyd and he is guilty as fuck.
Judge: I’m going to admonish you not to use profanity in my courtroom, but [turning to Nelson] he has a point Mr. Nelson. Your client is guilty as fuck. This may be the Hail Mary pass you need to win this thing.
NELSON: No thanks, your honor. We’ll continue to pray that one of the jurors is a Trumper and is going to try some jury nullification or something.
Judge: Ok then. Bring the jury in and let’s try and get out of here by five tonight.
*curtain*
This cop will be the first fox news pundit to contribute entirely via smuggled notes from jail.