El Somnambulo Reviews Wrestlemania 37-Night One
An utterly insipid pre-game panel featuring one Kayla Braxton as the host; Jerry 'The King' Lawler, dressed like a maitre d' at a red gravy joint; Booker T: JBL, and…
If Jason330 was the Chauvin Prosectuor – A Play in One Act
The prosecuting attorneys are doing a fine job, and don't need any help from me, but if I was on the prosecution team, this is how the rest of the trial would go down.
[Sound of a gavel]
Judge: Let's continue.
ME: Your honor, can we let the jury take five while I ask you and the defense team a quick question?
Judge: This is highly unusual, but I'll allow it. But be careful McCoy.
[Bailiffs remove the jury.]
ME: Ha. Good 'Law and Order' reference, judge. Anyway... Chauvin's defense attorney, Mr. Nelson is doing a shit job. All he seems to have is this idea that George Floyd died of a drug induced heart attack and not a 9 minute to knee to the throat as MANY experts have now testified.
Judge: Please get to your point.
ME: My point is that we can wrap this up right quit if I put my knee on Mr. Nelson's neck for 9 minutes. If he lives - he is right and Chauvin is innocent. If he dies, then Chauvin killed Floyd and he is guilty as fuck.
Judge: I'm going to admonish you not to use profanity in my courtroom, but [turning to Nelson] he has a point Mr. Nelson. Your client is guilty as fuck. This may be the Hail Mary pass you need to win this thing.
NELSON: No thanks, your honor. We'll continue to pray that one of the jurors is a Trumper and is going to try some jury nullification or something.
Judge: Ok then. Bring the jury in and let's try and get out of here by five tonight.
*curtain*
Song of the Day 4/10: Billy Joel, “Captain Jack”
A song for the Delaware Republican Party, which, like the protagonist of this song, has been reduced to just jacking off. In a way, Philadelphia -- in particular this live…
DL Open Thread: Saturday, April 10, 2021
Voter Suppression Too Extreme Even For Wisconsin's Right-Wing Supreme Court. "If the court had ruled the other way, thousands of voters would have routinely come off the rolls every two…
That’s right, Bitch. You fucking lost.
"...By spring 1865, Confederates, who had ridden off to war four years before boasting that they would beat the North's money-grubbing shopkeepers in a single battle were broken and starving,…
DL Open Thread: Friday, April 9, 2021
Two ex-NFL Players, Two Mass Shootings. Philip Adams. Travis Rudolph. Uh, brain trauma, much? From the Adams article: At least five people are dead, including two children, in what police…
Song of the Day 4/8: The 1910 Fruitgum Company, “Indian Giver”
Baseball is back, which seems to be a mixed blessing in Georgia, where the GOP's existential panic over its suckitude cost Atlanta the annual all-star game. I suppose Braves fans…
DL Open Thread Thursday, April 8, 2021
Delaware Republicans are shitting themselves over the inability of ammosexuals to intimidate lawmakers with the General Assembly meeting via Zoom, so they're demanding a return to in-person sessions. Rep. Tim…
Song of the Day 4/7: Winger, “Seventeen”
H/t Foster McKenzie for this one, which I had never heard. He's right, this should be Matt Gaetz' rally music, not just for the apt lyrics but for its general…
Q: When does Krista Griffith like progressive initiatives?
A: When she is running for office.
Q: When does Krista Griffith like Republicans?
A: When she joins in voting with them to kill progressive initiatives.
This is a good podcast.
DL Open Thread: Wednesday, April 7, 2021
In today's open thread we learn that Matt Gaetz sought a "blanket pardon" from outgoing President Pussy Grabber. You know, a blanket pardon ...like the kind all innocent people try to line up. Also: more Chauvin is guilty as fuck, team Biden continues to impress as Yellen makes case for a global minimum tax on multinational corporations, and other stuff.
Song of the Day 4/6: They Might Be Giants, “Minimum Wage”
In keeping with today's theme. Though they more recently gained attention for kids' records like "Here Come the ABCs," 30 years ago They Might Be Giants -- basically the duo…
Memo To These Legislators: Support The $15 Minimum Wage
If there ever has been an issue that should unite all Democratic legislators, it is the $15 minimum wage. SB 15 passed the Senate, and all Democratic senators voted for…