The devil had a busy day yesterday, reaping three souls disgraced by sex scandals in their foul lives. Dennis Hastert, 84, the former Speaker of the House who was convicted of paying hush money to teenage boys he molested, got most of the headlines, but he wasn’t alone.
Jim Bakker, 86, the televangelist who was convicted of defrauding followers after quitting his ministry over hush-money payments to his secretary/mistress, also reached his expiration date and presumably is surprised at where he is now.
Before he skipped over the pond, Lucifer took possession of Jeffrey Archer, 86, conservative politician who resigned after reports that he paid a sex worker. He reinvented himself as the author of crime and thriller novels, won a court case over the newspaper reports about his whoring, then went to prison when it was found that he lied in court to win that case.
Clearly, one has to keep up a brisk pace to keep up with the devil, as Van Halen expressed on the second single from its eponymous debut album in 1978. It was supposedly inspired by the Ohio Express song “Runnin’ From the Devil.” Though it only made it to No. 84 on the Hot 100, it reached No. 14 on the rock chart and remains a staple of classic rock radio.
Quick question: Was Tammy Faye Bakker ultimately a plus or a minus for the mascara industry?