What are Trump’s Ailments?

Filed in National by on November 18, 2019
  • Restless elbow syndrome
    Fibromyalgia
    High-fiber fibromyalgia
    Hot tub foot
    Lou Gehrig’s disease
    Lou Barlow’s disease
    Lucy Liu Flu
    Puff Knuckle
    Advanced moist shin disorder
    Hyper-tolerance to lactose
    Urinary tract infection
    Urinary 8-track infection
    Trickle nipple
    Thick urine syndrome
    Hapsburg cholera
    Clogged arteries
    Dropsy
    Dry lip
    Intestinal colic
    Indoor toilet allergy
    Milk leg
    Loofah rash
    Bone worm
    Selective fatigue syndrome
    Hepatitis R
    Irritable bowel syndrome
    Spastic ear discharge
    Pubic lice
    Amphibial rabies
    Anglo-centric sickle cell anemia
    Scabies
    Rabies
    Mickey Rooney’s Sugar Babies
    Tarnished yam simplex
    Swollen perineum
    Chronic shame disorder
    Larval penis
    Dirt belly
    Parkinson’s disease
    Valet Parkinson’s disease
    Parallel Parkinson’s disease
    Parker Posey pox
    Pere ubu
    Canine derived hip dysplasia
    Selective albinism
    Scrotal migraines
    Prolapsed navel
    Diagnosed as “Hard to Kill”
    Dusty Sperm
    Carpool Tunnel Syndrome
    Male FUPA disorder
    Overactive Empathy
    Human Contact Disorder
    Late Onset-Turkey Revulsion
    Internal Sneezing

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About the Author ()

Jason330 is a deep cover double agent working for the GOP. Don't tell anybody.

Comments (11)

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  1. RE Vanella says:

    Advanced moist shin disorder is caused by consuming overcooked meat in wet sauce. It’s a real shame.

  2. Alby says:

    You left out morbid obesity.

    Also, moderate to severe plaque psoriasis.

  3. jason330 says:

    Oops. This is a list of Bob Ducca’s ailments

    https://youtu.be/kHIegpSmIyw

  4. Jason330 says:

    BTW nobody has seen Trump since his emergency trip to the hospital

  5. bamboozer says:

    “Spastic Ear Discharge”, cool band name for punk or stoner metal.

  6. Mediawatch says:

    Abnormal linkage of brain to small intestine

  7. RE Vanella says:

    Frontal lobe fecal fibrosis. Yeah, that’s bad if it’s acute. Chronic triple F is treatable with chicken skin & Diet Coke.

    • jason330 says:

      Breaking rocks in Leavenworth(1) is also a recommended treatment.

      (1) For the youngsters, “Breaking rocks in Leavenworth” is something old timers said when Leavenworth was used as colloquial way to say federal prison, and breaking rocks was understood as shorthand for hard labor.

      • mediawatch says:

        You’ve got to be more of an old-timer than me to talk about “breaking rocks in Leavenworth.”
        These days, virtually every federal prison is a country club.
        (Damn, I just stumbled upon a stroke of brilliance. Federal prison + country club = future use of Doral.)