Funny Haha
Tale of the Irish Sausage
Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn’t have a lot of money. Between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro.
Murphy said ‘Hang on, I have an idea.’
He went next door to the butcher’s shop and came out with one large sausage.
Shamus said ‘Are you crazy? Now we don’t have any money left at all!’
Murphy replied, ‘Don’t worry – just follow me.’
He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whisky.
Shamus said ‘Now you’ve lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven’t got any money!!’
Murphy replied, with a smile. ‘Don’t ! worry, I have a Plan, Cheers!’
They downed their drinks. Murphy said, ‘OK, I’ll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth.’
The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out.
They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free.
At the tenth pub Shamus said ‘Murphy – I don’t think I can do any more of this. I’m drunk and me knees are killin’ me!’
Murphy said, ‘How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the third pub.
Deigo wop bastard!
beat it Alec
Obama does stand-up:
Obama at the Alfalfa Dinner, a gathering of Washington’s elite with Confederate roots, a fact on which the president remarked, according to excerpts from his prepared remarks:
“I am seriously glad to be here tonight at the annual Alfalfa dinner. I know that many you are aware that this dinner began almost one hundred years ago as a way to celebrate the birthday of General Robert E. Lee. If he were here with us tonight, the General would be 202 years old. And very confused.
Now, this hasn’t been reported yet, but it was actually Rahm’s idea to do the swearing-in ceremony again. Of course, for Rahm, every day is a swearing-in ceremony.
But don’t believe what you read. Rahm Emanuel is a real sweetheart.
No, it’s true. Every week the guy takes a little time away to give back to the community. Just last week he was at a local school, teaching profanity to poor children.
But these are the kind of negotiations you have to deal with as President. In just the first few weeks, I’ve had to engage in some of the toughest diplomacy of my life. And that was just to keep my Blackberry. I finally agreed to limit the number of people who could email me. It’s a very exclusive list. How exclusive?
Everyone look at the person sitting on your left’ Now look at the person sitting on your right. None of you have my email address.”
http://www.politico.com/blogs/bensmith/0109/Robert_E_Lee_confused.html?showall