Author Archives: Donviti

About Donviti

hiding in the open

QOTD

What song has the greatest guitar action in it?

Off the table are “Freebird”, “La Villa Strangiato”, “2112”, “Come Sail Away”, “Sympathy for the Devil”

An awful Christian Ritual that needs to be stopped

Why on earth people in this country still allow Male Genital Mutalation is beyond me. Feel free to educate yourself about this awful religious custom that has been going on for THOUSANDS OF YEARS.

Stopping Child Genital Cutting and Promoting the Foreskin

What amazes me is the fact that pretty intelligent people allow themselves to be fooled into believing all the BS out there about STD’s, Aids, Smell and on and on. So call me crazy but don’t all those things apply to a female? Shouldn’t we do something about their genitalia too if odor and cleanliness is the problem?

It is a religious custom that started thousands of years ago and somehow morphed into a medical practice. Christ almighty they still have moyles in NYC that SUCK THE TIP off the boys penis. YES, that’s right. It’s legal though so it must be ok. Thank God.

Why I’m just about the coolest f’ing blogger there is

I mean, I don’t know, I’m pretty god damn sure I’m the coolest blogger there is. What do you think about that. One of the most powerful sentences there ever was. Right there. First. Fuck that “it was the best of times it was the worst of times shit” Screw the shit about clocks striking 13. That’s so weak. So fucking European to think that stringing together a few words so pathetic my weeds in my lawn could recite them. All those sentences you hear buffoons recite are the first sentence. Aren’t they. You know, those pantie waste nerdy bitches that are trying to impress you by making you think that they are smart and esoteric in some hip way. You know why they can only recite the first sentence? You know Why? Because that’s all the they know. They don’t anything in the rest of the god damned book besides the author’s name. I’m the coolest because I know you are full of shit.

So, the question you are asking is why the hell did he just write what he wrote. Well, because I know it. You know it and the rest of the bitches that come here know it too. As soon as they see my brilliance explode all over them it has hit them. Reality. The riddle solve. My enigmaism has been defined. While I knew it all along. Making you look even dumber.

Listen, It’s not hard. I’m know it for a fact. Cooler people than you, know they are cool because they can pull it off. They know they have what it takes to make it happen and to command as stoically as Sean Connery in “Hunt For Red October”. Which was right at the pinnacle of his career and not soon after where Will Farrell bitch slapped him with his coolness and mocked Connery into forever being linked to a bitch slapper (ala John Atkins) and mockery of over caricatured Irish Drunks.

I’m the coolest blogger there is because I was there when it happened. That definitive moment when I saw it. It was I. I was awesome. I’m awesome. Everything was fucking awesome. I’m cool. -1 x -1 = positive bitch. Positive I’m the coolest.

You see, as I started to say a few sentences ago, I’m cool because I know you know that I can expose your weak shit you bring for exactly what it is. I know you. I know what you think. I know how you think you are better than me. Than everyone. I see you for what you are and I know. You know it. Bang. I’m cooler than you.

You see, I get it. I know you get it. You know I get it. I know that you know that because I know and live the way I live that I’m the shit. Don’t get that? tough, I do which makes me cooler by far. I’m the coolest F’ing blogger here and now. I’m so cool I don’t need exclamation points to signify how cool I am. I’m so cool I’m typing this with a 1948 Macallan on the table a whiff away. I have the keys to the cool kingdom and only few people I know are with me behind the door you only wish you could even touch your soft non-calloused hands on. Those of you that hung a few weekends ago and have in the past know. You can vouch. Testify. Verify and Unify.

I’m the coolest. Sorry. I’m not finishing last in the race you want me to run. I’m making you follow me like a 8 week puppy follows its master. I’m still here. You aren’t. I walk the path I want to walk because. I can. I swagger. I saunter. Yes, that’s fucking right. Saunter.

Next.

Donviti PSA #4521

Look, I understand people are old and using the swipe machine at every freaking checkout counter for about 95% of any transaction you make can be a daunting task perhaps for the first month or two that your pharmacy and grocery store have had them installed. But, this is 2009 you old bastards and both of those places you go use them and have for a good 5 years. Hell, your church is one step from using them. I’d beg to say that your doctor, all 9 of them has been swiping your debit card for the better part of your retirement.

So, my PSA is this:

Get your check card ready. You are going to use it you old bastards. You know it, I know it, the 7 people in line behind your decrepit ass in Velcro pleather shoes know it, my 9 month old son knows it and I have a 95% confidence rate that my 2 dogs even know it. Then, be prepared to push buttons and perhaps use the wand thingy that acts like a magical pen from your Howdy Doody days of Television. You don’t want cash back because yes, the Taliban could rob you on your way out of the store.

Also, If your eyes are failing, which based on how you drive I’m also confident they are, get your glasses ready, even go ahead and buy one of those chain thingy things that librarians use so you don’t have to worry about leaving them in the car and asking your spouse where you put them. Your old, it’s ok, wearing those wont make you look “older”. We got you pegged for 60 plus and after that we could care less about how old you are, your old end of story there are only varying degrees of oldness at this point.

Now, this is the important part. Once you see the cashier finish scanning your heart medicine and your 30 day supply of suppositories it is safe to assume you can get out your card and have it all ready to go. Assuming you were going to pay for the merchandise it is even safer to assume you could have had the freaking card ready prior to walking in to Rite Aid. Now, we readers and my extended family as described above all have a level of tolerance but, these transactions are no longer new. We have given you the benefit of the doubt for the better part of this decade.

Get your shit together. Enough is enough, all TV’s are digital for God’s sakes it is time to put away the change purse.

Thank you

Deep thought

Poor people need to be taxed into having less kids. They are a drain on our public school system and this will keep them from gaming the system.

Deep thought 420

My money is MY F’ING MONEY you lazy non working slimy worthless peices pieces of shit that want to just coast through life and life off the teet teat.