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El Somnambulo Reviews Wrestlemania 37-Night One
An utterly insipid pre-game panel featuring one Kayla Braxton as the host; Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler, dressed like a maitre d’ at a red gravy joint; Booker T: JBL, and somebody named Peter Rosenberg. It’s been raining in Tampa, but it appears that it will stop in time for the kickoff of the show. Drew […]
If Jason330 was the Chauvin Prosectuor – A Play in One Act
The prosecuting attorneys are doing a fine job, and don’t need any help from me, but if I was on the prosecution team, this is how the rest of the trial would go down.
[Sound of a gavel]
Judge: Let’s continue.
ME: Your honor, can we let the jury take five while I ask you and the defense team a quick question?
Judge: This is highly unusual, but I’ll allow it. But be careful McCoy.
[Bailiffs remove the jury.]
ME: Ha. Good ‘Law and Order’ reference, judge. Anyway… Chauvin’s defense attorney, Mr. Nelson is doing a shit job. All he seems to have is this idea that George Floyd died of a drug induced heart attack and not a 9 minute to knee to the throat as MANY experts have now testified.
Judge: Please get to your point.
ME: My point is that we can wrap this up right quit if I put my knee on Mr. Nelson’s neck for 9 minutes. If he lives – he is right and Chauvin is innocent. If he dies, then Chauvin killed Floyd and he is guilty as fuck.
Judge: I’m going to admonish you not to use profanity in my courtroom, but [turning to Nelson] he has a point Mr. Nelson. Your client is guilty as fuck. This may be the Hail Mary pass you need to win this thing.
NELSON: No thanks, your honor. We’ll continue to pray that one of the jurors is a Trumper and is going to try some jury nullification or something.
Judge: Ok then. Bring the jury in and let’s try and get out of here by five tonight.
*curtain*
Song of the Day 4/10: Billy Joel, “Captain Jack”
A song for the Delaware Republican Party, which, like the protagonist of this song, has been reduced to just jacking off. In a way, Philadelphia — in particular this live 1972 performance of what became one of his signature tunes — is responsible for Billy Joel’s subsequent career. WMMR-FM staged an hour-long performance at Sigma […]
DL Open Thread: Saturday, April 10, 2021
Voter Suppression Too Extreme Even For Wisconsin’s Right-Wing Supreme Court. “If the court had ruled the other way, thousands of voters would have routinely come off the rolls every two years when election officials believed they had moved.” The Absolute Corruption Of Clarence And Virginia Thomas. It has ever been thus with these two. An […]
That’s right, Bitch. You fucking lost.
“…By spring 1865, Confederates, who had ridden off to war four years before boasting that they would beat the North’s money-grubbing shopkeepers in a single battle were broken and starving, while, backed by a booming industrial economy, the Union army could provide rations for twenty-five thousand men on a moment’s notice. The Civil War was […]
DL Open Thread: Friday, April 9, 2021
Two ex-NFL Players, Two Mass Shootings. Philip Adams. Travis Rudolph. Uh, brain trauma, much? From the Adams article: At least five people are dead, including two children, in what police in York County, S.C., called a “case of a mass shooting” committed by a former National Football League player. The York County Sheriff’s Office confirmed […]
Song of the Day 4/8: The 1910 Fruitgum Company, “Indian Giver”
Baseball is back, which seems to be a mixed blessing in Georgia, where the GOP’s existential panic over its suckitude cost Atlanta the annual all-star game. I suppose Braves fans would call MLB Indian givers. Seriously, though, with fans back in the stands and sports leagues starting to root out Native American nicknames, some are […]
DL Open Thread Thursday, April 8, 2021
Delaware Republicans are shitting themselves over the inability of ammosexuals to intimidate lawmakers with the General Assembly meeting via Zoom, so they’re demanding a return to in-person sessions. Rep. Tim Dukes (R-Nepotism) said the quiet part out loud: Dukes added that holding public comment on the gun control bills to one minute stifled conversation, and […]
Song of the Day 4/7: Winger, “Seventeen”
H/t Foster McKenzie for this one, which I had never heard. He’s right, this should be Matt Gaetz’ rally music, not just for the apt lyrics but for its general cheeziness. Grunge might not be everyone’s favorite rock genre, but this is a good reminder of the played-out formula it replaced. This was one of […]
Q: When does Krista Griffith like progressive initiatives?
DL Open Thread: Wednesday, April 7, 2021
In today’s open thread we learn that Matt Gaetz sought a “blanket pardon” from outgoing President Pussy Grabber. You know, a blanket pardon …like the kind all innocent people try to line up. Also: more Chauvin is guilty as fuck, team Biden continues to impress as Yellen makes case for a global minimum tax on multinational corporations, and other stuff.
Song of the Day 4/6: They Might Be Giants, “Minimum Wage”
In keeping with today’s theme. Though they more recently gained attention for kids’ records like “Here Come the ABCs,” 30 years ago They Might Be Giants — basically the duo of John Flansburgh and John Linnell — were at the peak of their popularity as a post-new wave alternative band. Their 1990 LP “Flood,” overflowing […]
Memo To These Legislators: Support The $15 Minimum Wage
If there ever has been an issue that should unite all Democratic legislators, it is the $15 minimum wage. SB 15 passed the Senate, and all Democratic senators voted for it. The Senate amendment that was added to the bill made clear that Delaware’s minimum wage would remain at the criminally-paltry $9.25/hour until January of […]
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