Donviti

I was out buying some pants on Thursday when I get a text message from someone asking me if I was going to Drinking Liberally.  I said I was and would be there when it started around 8pm.  Quickly after my sending that reply another reply to my message came back saying it started at 7!

WTF?!  I quickly removed the pants I was trying on, waited for the hired help to get my other pants, then told the lady cradling my testicles that I would take all three pair instead of trying anymore on.  The lady said I made a good choice and that I looked good in the pants.  I quickly corrected her and said, “Pardon me, but I think I MAKE the pants look good.”  She smiled and agreed.   Fans were waiting! Off I went.  Oh and word to the wise,  testicle cradling is an art, only the finest stores have them.  Warm hands are a must!

Just an FYI for all you loyal weekend readers.  Next week I plan on giving you all a piece of me.  It will be a little insight to what it…

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who does he think he is not covering his heart during the Pledge of Allegiance!

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Nice choice GOP! Sorry everybody, but you have to watch to the last few seconds to see the most cringe inducing part of the John McCain music video. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2kyXN4ZVQg[/youtube]

handshakes and handgrenades people. Until I can crystalize my thoughts that's all you get for now. I'm not going to lie and say that the Mrs. Viti has given me…

I’m open to any suggestions you all may have…it never ends man, it just never ends.  Remember ladies and gentlemen to choose your partners wisely.   

If there are any lawyers out there that want do a little pro-bono work for that’d be great!  We can give you some free advertising.  My other lawyer retired….you can guess why 

To: Ex-viti,

From: Hottest woman on the planet 

I am writing today in an effort to try to find another way of communicating as leaving messages seems to not be working. It seems when Donviti calls and leaves a message asking to speak with you about specific things or asks for answers to specific questions we do not get that return phone call or we get a call back from one of the girls. It seems the girls are being asked more and more to coordinate things between the two of you and relay messages about things in their lives. They are being put in the middle, and it’s so not fair to them.

READ BELOW THE FOLD FOR MORE AWESOME EMAILS….

Yes I think she is hot, but we have never met.  I swear!

grrrrrrr